to think this degree was a big mistake?

[cakedup]

I am a mature student in my 40s, lone parent, in the final year of my degree. I've sacrificed a lot to get here. Am currently trying to muster the enthusiasm to write my dissertation.

I feel this degree has been a very time consuming and very expensive mistake.

Reasons I decided to do my degree:

Better job prospects - the main reason. Not only to increase my chances of getting a job but my aim was to have a job that I actually enjoy.

To prove something to myself - more of a sub-concious reason that has become more apparent. I failed at school and have always had a 'stupid' complex.

To be a good example to DS - not specifically in terms of going to uni, but felt I had generally achieved very little and wanted to do something that required sacrifice, hard work, determination etc.

Unfortunately it hasn't quite panned out that way:

Re job prospects - I thought by now I would have developed a passion for my subject, but I haven't. In fact it's had the opposite effect, I've gone off it.

Re my stupid complex - I've never felt more stupid in my life. My grades have been getting worse and people young enough to be my children are sailing through. My access course tutor had high hopes for my getting a first which has only exacerbated my feeling of failure . At the moment I'm on track for a 2:1. If I fuck up my dissertation then I could get a 2:2 and I really don't think I could handle that tbh.

Re good example - There are many other less time consuming and cheaper ways I could have achieved this! Hindsight and all that.

Anyone feel/felt like I do? Any encouraging stories?

In general though I do often worry about the wisdom of advice to further study and retrain with small children, though.

Why is that, mytartanscarf?

I made a baby and baked cakes when I was supposed to be writing my thesis - I got very good at it! . I have the utmost admiration for people who do not procrastinate but I will never be one.

buy dissertations for dummies. it's helpful

You will be even more proud of your achievement knowing how you struggled through it, despite everything telling you to give in.

I think that's what makes it special, it pushes you beyond your limit and unlocks that knowledge that you can do more than you thought you could.

I did my degree, got a 1:1, then set up a business in a completely different subject that I had no experience of. I love/loved my degree subject too, it just wasn't the path I decided to choose.

You can choose a different path too, just because your degree has a specific name doesn't mean you have to go in that direction.

Good luck.

Mytholmroyd - if I've got either a 2:1 or a 1st in all my essays so far, the chances of getting a 2:2 for my dissertation are slim, I guess. But yes, I should stop obsessing about the mark and remove that pressure. When I think about it, people talk about their degrees, or ask about others' degrees but no-one really mentions their grade. I won't give up, it would be madness to - I could be finished by June! It's reassuring to know I'm not the only to have felt like this. And reassuring to know that even a brainbox like you can't fathom the marking system. To me, it goes something like this:

Feedback: you need to focus on just a few points.
Next essay, I focus on a few points.
Feedback: you need to expand your range of points.

And so on.

I had two infant DC when I started my first degree in my 30s mytartanscarf and it was the best thing I ever did. Also, I found University refreshingly understanding and flexible about parents/attendance compared to my previous employers so it fitted around the childcare very well.

I'm a LP and did a degree. I also worked at the same time and I only got a 3rd (12 pts below a 2:2). No one's ever asked what grade it was. I'm pleased I did it, not so pleased I didn't get a 2:2 though but hey ho.

You can do it, you're almost there!

Mytholmroyd - to be honest, making a baby sounds a lot more appealing than writing my dissertation right now! As does cakes.

southeastastra thanks, will look that book up.

Thanks LadySybilLikesSloeGin - I'm so glad the grade doesn't bother you. I hope it doesn't bother me either, because it would be a huge shame to discredit all my hard work for the sake of a number.

Thanks for the support and encouragement everyone, I will be referring to this thread in my times of need. flowers

Fortunately, my degree has nothing to do with computer literacy. Or floristry.

I know how important a degree classification seems right now. But honestly, a few months after graduating you won't care. It might help you get an interview for your first job, but then it becomes completely irrelevant.

The only use you'll have for it after that is to boast on mn threads. And I say that as someone with a first (see what I did there?

Not a brainbox cakedup just found what I had been looking for and it all fell into place - I loved (love) my subject. It's sad that you haven't found your degree as interesting as you had hoped.

I know this is probably the furthest thing from your mind right now, but for one year only (2015-16), the Government is offering 10,000 £10K studentships to do a masters qualification in England that do not have to be repaid. Its aimed at sectors of society who don't normally do postgraduate study but may be you could use the money to do something you really really love!

More info here:

www.findamasters.com/funding/guides/masters-funding-guide.aspx

I think cakedup if you have 2:1 and 1st for all your work up to now you are very unlikely not to get a 2:1 at least for your dissertation - it's rare in my experience for students to go backwards like that. I am sure you will be fine! Just don't be so hard on yourself

I remember when working on my dissertation, anything looked more attractive. Cleaning behind the cooker, cleaning the bathroom, organising my sock drawer!!
Keep going, you are nearly there.

Caked - I think purely because the implication is often that the degree WILL lead to bigger and better things and this isn't always the case. Even on this thread there's been a running theme of 'you don't need to do well; you just need to do it' and I have to admit this isn't my experience at all.

I do obviously wish the OP the very best of course!

Bloody hell Mytholmroyd, a Masters? I hope to never to study anything in my life ever again! Too soon, Mytholmroyd, too soon. But I know someone who will be thrilled to hear that so will pass it on!

And thanks for the vote of confidence. It's just that every time I sit down to write an essay, I think "What am I talking about? I'm making this all up!" Plus a few of my 2:1s have narrowly missed being a 2:2 so that's what shook me.

Fair point mytartanscarf - I wished you told me that 4 years ago!

I just can't wait until the day I pick up a book that isn't related to my degree. You know, reading for FUN. I will never take that for granted again.

I think everyone has a moment of hateing their degree during dissertation, I really enjoyed my subject for my dissertation and my course. But still by the end I was really fed up. Dissertations should be used as a punishment by the government. I say all

cakedup, you could be me 10 years ago. I did a degree for almost exactly the same reasons as you, but especially the 'stupid complex' as you've called it. I didn't do well at school either, but by the time I was in my 30s I was starting to look at people with degrees and wonder if they really were cleverer than me. Then I helped a couple of friends with proof-reading for their essays and dissertations and began to think I could manage it. So my 40th birthday present to myself was to start a degree. It was a bit of a roller coaster. When I first started I couldn't keep up with the reading and I nearly dropped out the first time I had to write an essay, but somehow I managed to keep going. My dissertation nearly broke me and I was close to giving up several times, but I kept going - not through interest in the subject, but not wanting to admit to my DDs that I couldn't do it, and knowing how bad I'd feel if I gave up.

Fast forward two years, and I embarked on a masters!! Which I absolutely loved.

Looking back I think what happened was a kind of self-sabotage. My 'stupid complex' wasn't giving up that easily. I'd got so used to the idea that I was stupid that part of me couldn't face the reality of completing the degree and accepting a different narrative of myself, so for a while I just couldn't bring myself to write anything towards my dissertation.

The thing that really got me through it was doing a little every day. Come what may, I spent 2 hours on my dissertation at the same time each day. If I sat in front of a computer for 2 hours feeling stupid, then that was what I did. If I had 2 productive hours, then that was a great day's work (a lot can be accomplished in 2 hours if you're on a roll). It worked a lot better than spending hours every day trying to work on my dissertation but actually procrastinating and telling myself how stupid and worthless I was. At most, it meant I only spent 2 hours max in any one day telling myself how stupid and worthless I was!

So I'd say hang on in there. As a lone parent you've done fantastically to make it to your final year. Have some . If you've come this far it's very likely that you can get to the finish line. Has it all been a costly mistake? Well, balance of probability is probably not. You can't predict the future, but for most people, the better your qualifications the more choices open to you.

As someone who has (a) been there myself and (b) now supervises a number of mature students with the usual complicated lives that life commitments bring, please turn off all social media (except for a set short time per day if you really need it) and get on with your dissertation. Everyone hits this point sometime except those who are too inexperienced to realise their limitations. Don't allow yourself to get distracted. The light is at the end of the tunnel. However bored you are, just by sticking at it to the end of a degree course you have proved something about yourself to future employers in any field and those around you. A 2.2 from a competitive university is worth as much as a 1st from one with a much lesser reputation. You have invested a lot of time and money in this. You need a return on it. Good luck (and keep at it)

Bear in mind, a 2:2 earned whilst working part time and running a household etc is worth more than a 2:2 earned by a 20/21 year old who has pissed their loan up the wall in a 3 year bender. Any employer will recognise that.

I hated my degree and afterwards I did teacher training and, unexpectedly, loved it.

I got a 2.2 in my degree because I just could not motivate myself. The teaching on it was crap - 8 hours a week and do the rest yourself. Not sure what the university was doing with the money it was getting for each of us.

Anyway, what I wanted to say was, it will open doors and give you opportunities- perhaps in areas you hadn't thought of. A 2:1 is really good when you've worked and run a house as well. Just stick in and finish it and use it to help you move on. It's a fantastic achievement.