to let DD change the spelling of her/our surname?

[ArseneVengerlovesVagner]

Have name changed as I am fairly sure MIL is on NM and I don't want to be thoroughly outed...

DD is not finding friendships at school that easy, its a tricky class and there is a bit of teasing/insidious bullying going on which we are dealing with (the school and I are on the case).

One thing that comes up is DD's surname. Spoken as it sounds (in English) it sounds odd and DD gets teased. She wants to fit in and so has started spelling her name the English way...this opens a whole can of worms as far as DHs family is concerned, some of them get very upset if they see it written this way and are very swift to correct.

DH's view is that he had to put up with the teasing at school and so should she. I don't blame her really and quite like the name written in an English fashion.

I was also bullied at school so this possibly slants my view, my parents never really understood my desire to just fit in and be like everyone else and I'm not sure that helped my situation (they were very right of course, you shouldn't be bullied because you are different) but perhaps I need to be careful not to go to far the other way.

WWYD/AIMU?

Your DH sounds like a bit of an arse.

Could she change to your maiden name? then Id change with her to piss dh off

And, further to my previous post, the "difficult" element of our dc's name is dp's. And he is absolutely behind giving them the option of changing/dropping it. As he should be.

Thank you for your comments.

Yes, there are a few reasons behind the teasing/bullying, and I do think changing her name is more about empowerment and control (glad others agree).

Changing her name now would be good as she is still at primary, also the name would only be being changed so that it is written as it sounds (see my MN name for what I mean, the name is Eastern European). I was a little bit impressed tbh that she took the initiative. I'm certainly not side-stepping the bullying issue either. There are a number of issues going on, not least the fact that there just aren't enough girls in her class this year to sufficiently mix up the friendship groups, so if any of the girls clash it is difficult to spend the day away from one another.

On the whole its not a bad name, when she was born it wasn't immediately obvious that it would be tease-able. To be honest, unless it is for something official I don't correct people when they spell it incorrectly.