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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask you if the law of attraction/the secret really works?

27 replies

RadioTimesCE · 17/02/2015 23:48

At a bit of a crossroads lately, feel a bit negative in general and think I need to change the way I think. Heard so much about law of attraction/the secret but i'm a bit Hmm as it seems like such hard work?

I want to give it a go, but don't want to end up bitterly disappointed. Has anyone here tried it/followed it? Does it work? Examples?

OP posts:
SaucyJack · 17/02/2015 23:54

I just Googled it and it's all a bit New Agey nonsense for me.

You could try something like CBT if you wanted something more grounded in reality to challenge distorted thoughts and negative belief systems.

Temporaryanonymity · 17/02/2015 23:58

I use it, but just the general principles of it. I decide what it is I want and then decide what I need to do to get it. It works really well for achieving goals. But I don't call it the secret. I call it having a goal and shooting at it instead of firing all over the place and hoping I hit something.

It hasn't found me a decent man yet though. Still looking for him!

Dowser · 18/02/2015 00:01

Well I got my man and so did my friend.

She actually wrote a list of what she wanted in her man . There were 37 points the last one being he had to play scrabble.

She was very precise.

Well he ticked all 36 boxes and just before they got married he learned to play scrabble.

I certainly do make an effort to see the glass half full. My life hasn't always been a bed of roses , far from it. Ive had some awful things happen but I've also had some wonderful things and my life is full of lovely people.

I certainly believe in the power of positivity.

It's worth a try and it can't hurt ;-)

Original poster
RadioTimesCE · 18/02/2015 00:06

Thanks for the replies. Will look into CBT.

Those that practice law of attraction, any hints/tips? Surely you can't be positive & happy ALL of the time? Is it all about constantly imagining what it is you want, and believing/feeling it's already yours?

OP posts:
rinabean · 18/02/2015 00:48

Of course it doesn't! Unless everyone just secretly really really wants cancer and to be widowed and to bury their children off the universe??

Your problems are kind of obvious right there in the OP:
don't want to do hard work
don't want to be disappointed

So you need something that will help motivate you to work harder for the things you want (and/or to work out what it is you actually want) and you need to learn to accept failures and take risks. You don't need a weird scam book. Positive thinking, no you can't be positive all the time and it's not really something to aim for. Productive thinking would be a better goal

whothehellknows · 18/02/2015 00:49

I kind of do this. I have a pinterest board of all the different things I wish for or that I'm aiming towards in life. It makes me happy envisioning those things and every now and again when I check back at the board I'm always amazed (and grateful) to see how many of those things have come true. It's a good way to keep in touch with what my priorities are.

Sure, nobody can be happy ALL of the time. There are bad days and sometimes bad things happen. But the difference is that when I look at it this way it feels like a shitty day instead of a shitty life. I always feel that good things are coming.

Mermaidhair · 18/02/2015 06:42

Yes, I do this! I have had a really difficult life. My psychiatrist also said, that the amount of bad things that have happened to me is highly unusual. When it's done correctly, it works! I used it to get my husband, houses, and smaller things. You need to visualise in great detail, feel the feeling of what you would experience if it was to happen. Colours, sounds, conversations etc. I have tried to win lotto with it(didn't work, as I know I had to much doubt). That's a tip also you can't doubt it, you have to truely believe. I tried it when my husband had terminal cancer. It didn't work, too many emotions involved. But thinking positively has saved my life! I have been super close to suicide before( so I know depression). Now I find the good in the bad always!

Selenaisabumface · 15/08/2015 07:27

Read a book called ask and it is given by esther hicks. Its has exercises in the back. We all have a crap day but there are things you cando to raise your vibration slightly so it becomes less of a crap day for example. I had severe anxiety and depression. I thought i was dying. Applying law of attraction has changed my life! I have lost weight, took up asporti never thought i would do, my days are happy now. I'm like a different person. Thats just since last october!

albertcampionscat · 15/08/2015 07:29

No. Dear Lord no. Mean-spirited twaddle.

Fishwives · 15/08/2015 08:18

Mermaid, I'm sorry for your loss. But what a load of old hooey. Are you actually saying that you genuinely believe you can visualise your way to whatever you want, only you 'failed' to cure your terminally-ill husband by the power of your mind because you doubted the process????

OP, of course this nonsense doesn't 'work'. It is a bucketload of victim-blaming nonsense, whereby the victims of famine, genocide and poverty 'didn't believe enough' in a positive future??? Perhaps we should cancel international aid, UN peace-keeping etc and drop copies of The Secret onto refugee camps or boats making the crossing from Libya.

You're more likely to succeed at anything that is within the compass of your powers if you decide exactly what you want and the steps/sacrifices/ strategies needed to achieve it. That's not 'The Secret' or laws of attraction, that's old-fashioned effort and ambition and pig-headed ness.

Mermaid couldn't save her husband's life, not because she didn't believe in the power of positive thinking enough, but because she wasn't a pioneering research medic who came up with an effective new treatment.

MorrisZapp · 15/08/2015 08:24

It's always women who are targeted by these people. It's exploitation in my view.

LindyHemming · 15/08/2015 08:25

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Higheredserf · 15/08/2015 08:31

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soverylucky · 15/08/2015 08:33

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TheHouseOnTheLane · 15/08/2015 08:36

I've done it without knowing what it was. My Dad taught me to do it. I've had major successes with a career in the arts and now I want a house of my own so I'm visualising it....I spend some time daily seeing and feeling what I want and I know it will come.

FarFromAnyRoad · 15/08/2015 08:37

Is this like that 'Cosmic Ordering' nonsense? I'm always Hmm at this sort of guff but people who believe it are almost evangelical about it aren't they?
If I want my vibration levels raised I'll stick a rabbit up my arse on maximum setting and go about my day Grin

FunnyNameHere · 15/08/2015 08:42

It's worked for me, twice. Once in the weirdest way! Give it a try.

DurhamDurham · 15/08/2015 08:46

There is some very compelling evidence to suggest that it might work....however it all just sounds so exhausting. Having to be so positive all the time just doesn't come naturally to most people (or maybe that's just me Grin).

I have a work colleague to lives by this technique but she doesn't seem any happier or any more 'sorted' than the rest of us.

SlaggyIsland · 15/08/2015 08:48

I'm sorry but another one here who finds it strangely offensive nonsense.

SayraT · 15/08/2015 08:49

Of course it doesn't, things happen just because. Twice when house hunting I've seen cottages that I love and have imagined living in them, planned decor, bought stuff and twice they've been sold to someone else (maybe they weremore positive than me?!).

On the other hand I also think about people dying, I think about it in detail and imagine what everything will be like from the funeral to life afterwards. I've been with OH 10 years and he has not died yet. When he does die it won't be because I've thought about it!

ollieplimsoles · 15/08/2015 09:00

I use this but through Paul McKenna techniques, which are similar but I think they make you more focused on living a happy life and adapting to things that happy to you as positively as possible. I quickly found that fortunate things happen to you in the background as a result of your optimism and focus in all aspects of your life.
I had some very good luck that turned out to be life changing, but I did take the steps leading to it myself after realising subconsciously that it could lead to good things.

If its negatively you are struggling with op, I suggest you start on a positivity system- I use Paul McKenna's but there are others out there!

ThePhoenixRising · 15/08/2015 09:06

I think the basics are pretty useful but there is a lot of quackery out there on it.

But using the basics to change your mindset and improve your general mental wellbeing can be great, if it works for you.

gamerwidow · 15/08/2015 09:15

This sounds like nonsense you don't get things just by visualising them however detailed your vision may be.
That being said there is a lot to be said on focusing on the positive and believing that you can achieve your goals. Sometimes we are scared to try new things because we think we will fail. If you try to counter that negative thinking and always plan for the worse but hope for the best and do it anyway you will get further to achieving your goals then giving up because there might be obstacles to overcome.

Rhine · 15/08/2015 10:04

Yes I do this and yes it works. Rather than cosmic ordering I prefer to call it positive thinking though. I don't do it often though because I think it's a little bit greedy and/or wonder if I ask for too much it'll stop working.

Nevercallmehun · 15/08/2015 10:20

Having a goal and positively working towards it is one thing, thinking you can cure cancer or win the lottery is quite another.

A cautious or negative mindset can be paralysing and stop you achieving what you want. A bit of work on training yourself to keep going despite setbacks and stay positive is entirely worthwhile.