To not understand how housewives of yesteryear could afford to stay home but being a SAHM is a lifestyle choice now?

[PeachyParisian]

Am I missing something really obvious? Or is it just a case of the cost of living rising and our standards of living increasing too? How could everyone manage to get by on just one wage?
I understand that work wasn't really an option for most women but traditionally families got by on one wage didn't they? When did that stop being possible for so many?

Well we never could live on one income, but I wouldn't have wanted to be a SAHM anyway. My children are now in their forties and they seemed to have turned out fine.
I still think personal taxation is lower than it was when we were young and we have always been on PAYE. My memory is the Purchase Tax (forerunner of VAT) was extremely high as well.
Wages as a share of GDP is interesting. Kind of confirms what I was saying above.

When was yesteryear? My DM born before WW2, worked outside the home all her life and we couldn't have survived financially as a family if she hadn't (although my dps seemed to spend a lot of money on cigarettes, which they said was their only luxury). We didn't have a car, rarely went on holiday and always self catering in this country and can count on one hand the times we went out as a family. We went to a chinese restaurant for my 18th birthday. My GM, on the other hand, gave up work when she married.
We always lived in private rented accommodation and my parents always longed to get a council house because they said the rent would be so much cheaper, but they never got to the top of the housing list.
Eventually, in my teens, my df won a bit of money on the pools which gave my dp enough for a deposit on a little terraced house.

"It's a different thing to never working and remaining at home as a career and I can't think of a single person I know, of any age, who has done that."

I know at least one woman who is my age (early 40s) who has two children in (early) secondary school and hasn't worked outside the home since her eldest was born and doesn't seem to intend to go back in the near future. She likes being there when they get in from school and does loads of fitness stuff, hobbies, etc. There's been whole threads here about being a SAHM of school age children. I can't imagine doing it myself and I do eyeroll a bit inwardly ("why yes of course you are super fit, it is because you have many completely free hours every day to do gym classes and gourmet paleo cookery while the rest of your family goes to work/school"), but it is "a thing".

It may well be a "thing", but I stand by my statement of not knowing anyone in my circle of friends and acquaintances who is a SAHM.

I don't know anyone who's done that. Leedy Perhaps we just move in different circles?

Well I was a sahm whilst my kids have been at school,now working full time as it was the right time to go back,before wasn't.

i can't imagine ever going back to work and the way things are going i doubt i will in any meaningful way.

oh and i'll defo be cooking gourmet paleo food and working out while my poor hardworking family toil to keep me in the manner i would like to grow accustomed

My mother was a SAHM, like almost all my friend's mothers, when we were small in the 1960s. We did have a car, and a telephone, but we were pretty much the only ones in our road who did. We didn't have a television. The only electronic devices we used regularly were the record player, a radio, and the twin tub washing machine. We didn't have central heating either. This was all normal for the 60s. Neighbours would come and ask to use our telephone even in the early 70s, and leave 2p pieces by the 'phone. We just had much much less stuff. My Dad had a reasonably well paid job, but we didn't go on holidays abroad, and I imagine our outgings were fairly low. My mother rarely had new clothes for instance. She had one handbag, a few pairs of shoes, Winter Boots etc. Completely different from the average woman's wardrobe now. We had some lovely toys but nothing like as much as my dds have. We got books from the library every week, and the only extra curricular stuff was piano lessons and ballet for me, scouts for db. Different world!

I am just about to quit my part time job because DH has been promoted and we will be comfortably off. I will do agency work (nursing) on occasion so I can buy him a gift on his birthday with my money instead of his own. I consider myself to be very lucky to be in this position.

I'm pregnant and my DP and I decidedI would become a SAHM probably for the next 5-8 years. Part of the reason is that in the80's (when we grew up) our mums were SAHMs. But actually they wern't - they each worked doing 'pin money' jobs of cleaning, sewing, care work. in my mum's case it was mainly during a period my dad was made redundant but also so she atd a little extra.

It is a myth that women didn't work. There have always been lone parents too.

My two of my great grandmothers were widowed with very young children. The only benefits were from 'the parish' and you only received money if the committee (Local vicar etc,) decided you were deserving poor.
Before any money was awarded everything that wasn't a necessity had to be sold. My grandma told me they even counted the teaspoons and the children's vests. They were allowed 3 vests each (one clean, one on, one in the wash). Everything extra had to be sold before the parish would give a penny. Strangely the family were allowed to keep a piano......because the children would need to learn to play.

Widows with children were very vulnerable. They could never match the earning power of a man (even one in a low paid job). Landlords and others would sometimes ask for 'payment' in ways other than cash because they knew women were desperate.

Women with very young DC and no family to help had to take in sewing or washing. Those with older DC could do factory work.

My own DMum was a SAHM for about 7 years but she still did the twilight shift at a factory from 6 to 10pm. Dad would come home to his tea on the table and the baby ready for bed. He would then take over and DMum would rush off for the bus. The factory owner sent a bus round to pick them up and bring them back. Once the DC were all at school mums would go back almost fulltime into the factory. They clocked in at 9 and left at 3 or 4 pm. They were all on piece work so had to work really hard and then rush home to cook a meal and do almost everything in the home. My dad did his share and helped with the children but some men didn't.

I think the cost of housing commuting council tax. Not so much white goods etc as that's a rare one off expense that doesn't keep going on and on month by month . I don't understand how people can afford to pay 1500£ per month in rent in London even outer London. Essentially most of my wage is wiped out by that. Childcare coats wipe out dh 's wage. We earn just above average and have pretty much nothing left over.

HarrietVane
Yes, when house prices started going up in the 1970s. Also that was when it started to be easier for both of a couple to work, with the arrival of automatic washing machines, freezers etc.

other things that made it easier for women to go out to work:

The pill and other forms of birth control Not being pregnant over and over and over and over (etc) or at risk of it makes you employable. Having few children makes finding childcare easier/possible, and even mums who stay home often go out to work again when the youngest reaches a certain age.

Disposable nappies and many items now made out of plastic rather than glass or metal. 'Instant' baby formula / more acceptance of breastfeeding. You may laugh, but I remember life before DN, moms and babies didnt lark about when staying clean and dry was not as reliable done, and the heavy wet nappies/multiple sets of clothes had to be carried home again and when a days worth of baby milk in glass bottles weighed as much/was as breakable as a six pack of beer.

the NHS, antibiotics, and immunisations having easy access to medical care, medicine that was curative not just palliative, and medicine that was preventative reduced the need for mothers to spend time nursing ill children who were ill enough to actually need to be tucked up in bed for weeks.

And, of course, plenty of women worked anyway, which is why it was such a big deal to have a degree or high enough skills to afford for the woman NOT to. The very mark of success.

Being a SAHM is not a life style choice at all for many.....i.e single parents curtosy of government policies they're not allowed to be SAHMs are they, regardless of their circumstances......but don't get me started on that one, or I'll be here all night,
What about families where both parents have to work to pay a mortgage and just to live...
I've not a clue what decade you're living in, but I know one thing it certainly ain't this one

Housing costs lower.

No right to buy if you owned a council house and they were sought after, to get one your old home was inspected and they looked at things like if you had clean sheets - yes I know I look to be off topic - but council houses used to have a huge back garden because it was intended you would grow your own veg.

Children went to local school and walked, only had uniforms at grammar schools mostly so no transport costs for children.

No foreign holidays - a week at the seaside if you were lucky.

Lower heating bills - you can stick a lot of rubbish on a coal fire, of course your kids woke up to ice on the inside of their windows.

Most people worked locally, not many had cars.

Teenagers contributing to family income from 14 or 15, few went to school until 18, and uni was incredibly rare. Teachers were trained in their local collages not at uni.

It was worth wile mending clothes because new ones were expensive so not as much bought on a whim - not sure how much that contributes.

Shops closed in the evening and all day Sunday meant you had to meal plan.
Virtually no one had alcohol at home, or if they did it was a treat (my mum used to sneak a bottle of stout in to her grandmothers, hidden under her coat so neighbours couldn't wee),

Games were made of card board and bought once a year

Teachers were trained in their local collages not at uni. It's true we went to Teacher Training Colleges, but people still went away to College. The College I chose was considered vastly superior to my nearest one and there were very few day students, as they were called. The majority of the day students who were there were mature students (ie ancient women who already had children of their own, who were in reality probably in their 30s and early 40s).

I'm a SAHM, we have a small mortgage and that's why we can survive on one wage. We don't have a huge detached house. We live within our means and I don't want to return to work yet. I live in an affordable part of the UK. We've made it that way.

Not sure housing was the cause, surely after the war people became more dependent on two incomes before they had children, the introduction of the pill meant women could put off having children longer and people began to expect more.

But I suppose a lot depended on class my grandparents and my DH's (born 1906 -1910) all had cars, always had a few drinks in the evening gin & tonics, whiskey, wine with food.

All had foreign holidays, both my parents remember taking the boat and later planes.

They had a few new clothes every season. My MIL tells me how appalled her mother was that she had the same coat for several seasons.

Both my grandmothers were SAHMs but had cooks, nannies and servants, when the children were young but then did work later. My maternal granny started her own business and did lots of charity work - encouraging women to develop skills so that they could be self-employed. My DH's paternal grandmother was very career focused and worked as a doctor in Palestine in the 30s.

We have ice on the inside of our windows in the morning now. Yep...ice still exists!

My mum always worked. We lived in a council house and never had a family holiday except once when my dgp took mum and I camping in Scotland. Later dad became disabled and mum had two jobs. She worked 6 days a week.
I went to teacher training college in 1962 as did many of my friends. I knew no one who stayed near home for college even though there were some good ones near by. We had full grants and all our fees and living expenses were covered. The grant was just 'spending money'. In County Durham where I lived you also got a separate book grant. You sent in your reading list from college and were given a sum to cover it. You had to send in your recepts and if it didn't equal the award you had to return some. Not many authorities did that so we could sell books second hand after a year and make a tidy sum.

I like the fact that sshh's neighbours were prevented from weeing by her mother's hiding the stout!

I think that housing & wages is a great contributor.

When my mum & dad married (50s), only his wage was taken into account.

Things were more expensive then, I remember clothing being saved up for & we shopped for two/three outfits per season.

Ie Winter/Summer.

A coat was a big purchase.

Sweets/biscuits were treats & not bought with every shop.

A shop bought cake was unheard of!

So whilst a lot of things are more affordable now, often two wages are needed to pay not just the mortgage, but all associated bills.

I want to thrown in another idea: that actually, having an interesting and worthwhile job is also, if you like, a 'lifestyle choice'; and one that many more women feel in a position to take up these days, as a rewarding alternative to self-denial, frugality and full-time make-do-and-mend.

Admittedly I would hate to be a SAHM, so look back on that brief period when middle-class women (which I am, to an embarrassing degree on all sides of my family) were expected to stay at home after they had children with considerable shuddering. But the other aspect to this is that I - and many of my contemporaries and peers - have the option of working and bringing in not just a wage but considerable personal satisfaction.

Thanks to equal pay legislation, far more available childcare (and yes I know it's expensive, I paid for it for many years, but the fact is it was there), and above all the expectation - thanks to the lovely EmilyAlice and her contemporaries - that women's sphere is not entirely domestic and that men can get off their arses and do their share of the housework and childcare.

Yes, the idea that anyone is lucky to have no fulfilling career, live off men for money and spend their life minding the house and cleaning is almost a joke. Perhaps the thread was started as a joke!

JillyR2015
Yes, the idea that anyone is lucky to have no fulfilling career, live off men for money and spend their life minding the house and cleaning is almost a joke. Perhaps the thread was started as a joke!

Where did I say being a SAHM was at all desirable? Just wondering why it seemed to be the norm but now it's more of a big deal if a parent decides to stay at home.