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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

What Would You Think?

29 replies

TheChandler · 17/02/2015 09:51

Work colleague (works in a distant department for the same employer), obviously didn't recognise me in a shop at lunchtime. I was browsing the magazines, she had a sandwich she was buying. "Get out of my fucking way" she said.

This happened a few weeks ago, and I've got mutual friends with her at work, who have mentioned her a few times. I sort of just clam up and don't say anything when they start talking about her. I don't really have any dealings with her, so its not a major problem. I just don't think I could ever see her in a good light.

OP posts:

LadyLuck10 · 17/02/2015 09:57

She just blurted that out for no reason?

LaurieFairyCake · 17/02/2015 09:59

What makes you think she didn't recognise you - I would have assumed she was joking (badly!)

Coconutty · 17/02/2015 10:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ImperialBlether · 17/02/2015 10:05

What do your mutual friends say about her?

Is she in a customer-facing role?

fluffyraggies · 17/02/2015 10:08

Well, i wouldn't think too well of someone who is a rude as that.

What were the circs.? Not that i can think of any everyday situation which would excuse that outburst.

I'd just stay quiet when the subject of her comes up, as you have been. You saw a little snipet of the real her.

Original poster

TheChandler · 17/02/2015 10:18

No, she wasn't joking! It was said quite loudly, quite menacingly. The counter assistant's back was turned so she didn't hear her, there were no other customers, she had to slightly step round me, I think I might have stepped back causing her to divert her path. That's all that happened.

I was too stunned to say anything at the time. I wish I had, but I get the feeling she might have started some kind of argument if I had. She seemed terribly angry.

Never spoken to her before. Its possible she might have recognised me at work and developed a dislike for me, based on goodness knows what?

Its also possible she might think I'm quite inferior to her at work (I'm not the bragging type and maybe because I also cycle to work? Goodness knows). I'm actually superior, but in a different department. She works in a job where she should know to keep her nose clean, although not a constantly public-facing role, it wouldn't be seen as giving a very good image of the company.

I think she recognises me now, because I must have looked at her in some kind of horror, and she gives me a wide berth.

OP posts:

Flossyfloof · 17/02/2015 10:18

I would agree with Laurie. Very I appropriate but I do wonder if she was trying to be funny.

Flossyfloof · 17/02/2015 10:19

Because you cycle to work??

KingJoffreyObviouslyWatchesHol · 17/02/2015 10:19

I'd say you've seen her true colours.

Original poster

TheChandler · 17/02/2015 10:21

FlossyFloof I'm guessing, but maybe she thought I can't afford a car or similar, and I'm in a low paid job?

OP posts:

Coconutty · 17/02/2015 10:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ImperialBlether · 17/02/2015 10:28

So what have your mutual friends said about her?

Has this just happened once? (Though that's enough!)

Original poster

TheChandler · 17/02/2015 10:30

coconutty mutual friends though. I've had to make an excuse to avoid a social thing where she was going to be, and they talk about her from time to time. I don't know if she has said something to me about them, but there seems to be an atmosphere I pick up on. I'm sure if I explained why, it would sound a bit ridiculous. And no, I don't want to make up with her, the women shoots me venomous glances whenever she's in the vicinity.

OP posts:

ImperialBlether · 17/02/2015 10:45

If there was anyone in my workplace who was shooting me venomous glances and swearing at me then I would speak to my line manager. You are simply protecting her by keeping quiet.

championnibbler · 17/02/2015 10:50

i would report her.
Write down everything that has happened to date.
i think this could escalate and i'd get in there quick.

wowfudge · 17/02/2015 10:54

Is this for real? I'd be making her squirm, not the other way round. Whether she knew you/recognised you or didn't, whatever, her conduct in the shop was appalling.

Original poster

TheChandler · 17/02/2015 11:01

I agree I should probably do something about it. Reasons I haven't done so far is that I was too astonished/too busy, it happened 5 weeks ago now and I don't want to sound as if I've got some kind of ongoing problem with her. It also didn't happen in the workplace (just next to it, at lunchtime).

The more I think about it, the more I do think she recognised me. She is support staff, but from what I've seen second hand of her postings on social media, on friends' pages, has a very high opinion of importance. She is also local to the area, whereas I was drafted in.

I agree I have seen her true colours.

OP posts:

ImperialBlether · 17/02/2015 11:11

It doesn't matter whether it happened in the workplace. The way she looks at you is unacceptable. If you talk to your line manager you can say that you overlooked the way she spoke to you, thinking she didn't recognise you, but that now you've seen the way she looks at you, it's made you realise it was deliberate.

GilbertBlytheWouldGetIt · 17/02/2015 11:17

Sounds like she had a problem with you to begin with, and she did recognise you in the shop. Either way, what an unpleasant person.

Only1scoop · 17/02/2015 11:17

Wow thank goodness she doesn't have a 'customer facing role'

Make your boss aware

grocklebox · 17/02/2015 12:15

Not sure what the boss is going to say to : someone who works for another part of the company was rude to me in a shop several weeks ago and I think looks at me funny.
So what, probably.

editthis · 17/02/2015 12:23

I absolutely think she was showing her true colours but maybe - just maybe - she was having a godawful day and spouted venom not knowing you knew who she was, and it wasn't personal.

I'm not sure what you can do as regards your workplace; I think it might be OTT and/or irrelevant to report her behaviour. I would leave it unless something else happens - especially as your roles don't seem to overlap much. But YANBU, she's a loon.

ImperialBlether · 17/02/2015 12:37

Not really, grocklebox. The OP's line manager could talk to this woman's line manager and see if there's any reason why the woman is so rude. Or do you think people should act as they want at work with no repercussions?

Birdsgottafly · 17/02/2015 12:38

I don't agree that one incident makes someone a Cunt, or "shows their true colours".

I was verbally aggressive whilst grieving, I've also been during the start of my Menopause, I've had to accept I need HRT.

Aside from that, if she's giving you nasty looks, I would challenge her, then take it further, if needed.

Original poster

TheChandler · 17/02/2015 12:41

I think I have to tread carefully; I've only been here 5 months, and it is something that is very odd to describe to someone else. Maybe its something I will mention unofficially, later down the line, to someone senior, but not make a big issue of it.

If it had happened more than once, I would have no hesitation in reporting it.

I wouldn't give her any leeway for having a bad day, it was a real vicious, almost psychopathic snarling. And I wasn't particularly in the woman's way. I get a very bad vibe off her, and I'm sure she knows that.

OP posts:

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