To feel rage about my DS being replaced as BFF?

[UnacceptableWidge]

I know I am!
Think I need to be handed a grip tbh!

This is all probably going to sound very childish but I've just found out about yet another activity DS has been excluded from and it has really pissed me off

During pregnancy & mat leave a friend I knew, but wasn't especially close to, and I bonded. When our DSs were born we spent a lot of time together.

When our boys joined nursery DSs little friend suffered huge separation anxiety and my DS became his security blanket.
Over the next couple of years his domination of DS bothered us a little (he was very controlling and unwilling to 'share' his friend) I spoke to my friend about it who thought it quite funny and 'sweet' so I asked the teacher to keep an eye on it.
School were great about it and encouraged both boys to have other friendships.

3 years down the line and my friend and I have drifted slightly. Not fallen out, simply both returned to work and rarely have time to catch up.

The boys are still friends but it feels like his mum is being weird about the friendship. If her DS invites our DS to play there is often the promise of something else in addition (staying for dinner, sleepover) then in the next breath a reason why he can't. It's very weird but I try to convince DS that it was an unintentional mistake.

DS has another friend at school (who the other boy knows and likes) and the two of them are part of a club at the weekend. The other boy appeared to be quite jealous of this friendship and repeatedly told DS 'he is my BF not yours'
Now the mum has started having this boy round for sleepovers (sleepovers that were offered to our DS but never happened) and taking him on activities that we were previously invited along to.
The mum is also very cagey if I ask about plans, I ask as part of general chit chat on the school run.

DS isn't too upset at being sidelined. He has other friends and we do plenty as a family but it is really bothering me.

I'd speak to friend about it but realise I'm probably being pathetic.

So come on, start handing out the grips and tell me how I need to get over it!!

Come to think of it, they often have other plans when we invite them round...maybe it's me?
I'd been thinking the boys' friendship was changing and that friend was trying to (can't think of the right words so this may not be right) disrupt their friendship. But maybe I've got it wrong. Maybe she is just bored of our friendship and wants to strengthen bonds with other mums?

I would actually pull the mum on it. Something like 'can you not mention sleepovers etc unless you actually mean it as ds gets excited and then upset. He is 7 and takes everything literally'.

Its cruel of her to do that to a child and she should engage brain before opening mouth.

My dd has 2 good friends and it does get a bit awkward arranging stuff sometimes as I don't always want 3 tweenagers driving me insane with chatter. And when they were younger they used to bicker if the 3 if them were together. So I do 1 at a time now and take it in turns as to who comes over.

I think I would let this friendship fade, tbh. It sounds like it was based more on having DSs the same age and both being at a bit of a loose end than anything more substantial. I think we all have friendships like that when we have babies, but as normal life resumes and new stages are reached its normal to move on. Plus, not all friendships are built to last - some are for a reason, others for a season, and a very small number indeed endure long term.

But yes, I would say something over the offering sleepovers and then immediately rescinding the invitation - that's not on at all and is manipulative game playing.

Yes I think I will say something the next time it happens.
I'm kicking myself for not having said something already really.
How bloody soft and stupid am I to not want to say anything to upset friend while she's causing my little one to be confused and upset?