A bit of background.
OHs parents (mum in particular) have never been the most reasonable of people. We've had various clashes - The first being because we didn't inform them of my pregnancy the minute i took a test (It was suspected ectopic and ive had a ruptured ectopic, i just wanted to deal with it privately if it were ectopic again).
They excluded my daughter last christmas (Not OHs) and didnt even write her name on a card because they were angry with me for informing them that my son had measles and my OH should avoid pregnant SIL just to be safe (I know she worries). (They accused me of lying?). The exclusion was deliberate - they had included her every christmas before this.
OHs grandad died last year. And since then i have noticed a rapid decline in his mood etc - He had become snappy, wouldn't leave the house, everything was a chore - even just taking the rubbish out. Eventually i got to go him to the doctors because i couldnt do anymore than i already was for him and it wasn't helping and he has been prescribed anti depressants. Its helped immensely. He has even been the one to suggest outings 'just for a walk out' which is something he hasn't done since the day his grandad died.
His parents are being totally horrible about it. They skype us. Firstly since OHs grandad died, his mother uses inheritence as a threat, saying she doesn't think OH deserves it, he is useless and will just waste it (We have plans to save half and use the other half for business). I've checked anyway, she doesn't have the right to do this and we'd win if it came to court.
Secondly, They constantly go on at us about 'we must ask for help with money if we need it'. The first time we asked for any significant help they went absolutely mental and didnt speak to us for two weeks because they were ashamed and disgusted. So we wont be asking again. (Then rang and said if we needed any more help we must say they dont mind? Err clearly you do!)
Thirdly, since OH told them about the depression , his mother reacted like he had just admitted to being a crack addict. She keeps pestering him asking why hes depressed. 'you dont just get depressed'. 'And how long are you going to be taking those for' 'youll end up hooked on them for life' etc etc. She's told him he needs to sort himself out and get off his backside and get a new job (His current one is zero hour contract) and tells him it must be his own fault he hasn't had any work for the last week, he must have upset someone or done something 'like usual' (?). She implies he is lazy (If the works there he works upto 50 hours a week?) and goes on as though he spends his days drinking and god knows what.
When he mentioned another place taking on they insisted he should go into their building and ask for a job - my step brother works there, they have a number for applications. But i'm lying about that apparently, its just lip service.
Sorry for the long post. But i'm getting sick of it. The last few times hes spoken to them its set his mood right back. You can visibly see it in his face. He ends up in tears. I have enough without them causing this - im not well myself and am on medication for OCD and severe anxiety. Ive had two friends kill themselves due to depression. I dont want a third loved one six feet under because they cant hold their venomous little tongues.
Next time they start I'm considering just cutting in and telling them to go away and call us when they can have a nice discussion without berating OH and making him miserable.
OH wont do it. But i can't sit by and watch them do this any more.
If i am being unreasonable, What would you do instead?