AIBU to think that my baby just prefers a bottle?

[OhMjh]

12 week old pretty much EBF ( bar the odd bottle when my DM has had her) DD was perfect with breast feeding up until her 8 week vaccinations but now it's hellish. The only way I can get her to feed is by pulling her dummy out, shoving my boob in and hoping for the best. Sometimes, it's fine. Other times, I have to repeat said process 7 times over - I am at my witts end. The only times she happily feeds are late evening(bedtime feed)/night feed/first feed of the day when she's all sleepy and snug, so id keep up with those.

But she takes a bottle instantly. Which makes me feel like crap.

It's not my milk, as she'll happily have that in a bottle but I'm shit at expressing and just can't get enough - it took me a week to pump 12oz for an afternoon out and even then she had to have formula too. At a recent weigh in, she'd dropped another centile to the 25th from the 75th at birth and because she's off the centile because she's so long, they've suggested that my milk isn't fatty enough for her and that formula top ups would be a good idea anyway.
My nipples are quite small and I think she might just prefer the flow of the bottle maybe. Who bloody knows. I'm rambling now. I don't know why I'm having such a hard time and beating myself up over this.

I'd just quite like someone to tell me that it's okay to give her bottles because it's easier than the constant battle we have in the daytime.

OMG - I struggled with breastfeeding so can sympathise.

I saw a BF counsellor when DD was about 8 weeks or so, which for me helped to give some critical evaluation of the latch on each side, and pointed out some bad habits. I'm sorry the BF group at the hospital thinks she's already too old for support (at only 12 weeks!) - don't know if it's worth asking them just in case? You could also maybe see if there's a convenient group for you here: www.laleche.org.uk/all-groups.

I also hired a Medela double electric pump (like they use in hospitals) as it was the only way I could express a good amount in a sensible amount of time. Then we alternated between breast/bottle, but just with breast milk (if that makes sense) which helped to preserve my sanity. link to Medela - Breastpump Rental

Think someone's mentioned Fenugreek tablets already. I did try some from Holland & Barrett, think they helped supply a bit, but did make me a bit constipated (sorry TMI). I was also recommended (low fat) Horlicks - I remember drinking loads of it!

Good luck

Cross posts with kitchentable - last paragraph, very well put.

Here is a video about latching, and using breast compression to speed up your milk flow. My baby also developed a lazy latch around that age and it made breastfeeding trickier until I corrected it.
m.youtube.com/watch?v=Wj9tLgYn-bA

If you baby has been enjoying the passive fast flow of a bottle she may have stopped sucking so well at the breast, and so she may respond well to breast compression.

Using a dummy regularly may prevent her breastfeeding often enough, and may lead to you missing subtle feeding queues, so your supply may have dropped.

Have you considered using a sling to enable you to get more done during the day?

There are some Facebook groups where you can get great breastfeeding advice from other mums and post pictures/ videos if you want, UK Breastfeeding and Parenting Advice is one. If you post your area someone there could recommend a local breastfeeding group.

Have you tried your children's centre or La Leche League to see a breastfeeding advisor? Can you pay for a consultation with a private lactation consultant if not? Milk Matters may be able to recommend someone.

I found that breastfeeding was sometimes harder for a couple of weeks, then got easy again, and in retrospect I think those weeks were due to poor latching and growth spurts.

I hope you get some good advice in RL. The 'not fatty enough' advice from your HV is bollocks!

Please please don't beat yourself up over this-of course it's fine to give her a bottle.

Happy mum=happy baby...if bf isn't working for you/her then you have to be pragmatic, I honestly think the benefits of bf are so often outweighed by misery/frustration caused by trying to force it when it isn't working.

My DD had never been a good feeder and it was a constant battle for us both; I finally had to stop bfing when she was 8 weeks as I had mastitis that developed into an enormous abscess (the size of my entire boob!)

I tried to continue bfing despite being hospitalised for over a week, I suffered horrendously for about a month until the consultant told me I basically had to stop or the abscess wouldn't heal.

Within days of stopping, I can honestly say I started enjoying motherhood for the first time-we both instantly relaxed, I got better, she got the food she needed and started gaining weight more steadily, she slept better and we all breathed a huge sigh of relief.

We all put so much pressure on ourselves to bf because we're told it's best for our little ones-but that is only true if it's not making you both miserable! X