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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu not tidying my children's room often?

24 replies

Nannyplum2015 · 15/02/2015 18:13

I find it hard keeping up with housework and the one thing I hate doing is tidying up the children's bedrooms. I'm sitting in dds now and it has clean socks and tights over the floor, clothes from the last couple of days (dirty) and loads of toys over the floor. It gets completely tidied fortnightly as we have a cleaner but in between it looks a bit grim!

OP posts:
HeyMicky · 15/02/2015 18:16

How old are your children? They could at least put dirty washing in the hamper and their toys away.

VikingLady · 15/02/2015 18:17

If it's functional, why worry?

Are they old enough to deal with it themselves?

afreshstartplease · 15/02/2015 18:18

Why aren't they doing it theirselves?

If they are too young or physically unable yabu not to do it

Otherwise yabu not to make them do it

Lucyccfc · 15/02/2015 18:23

My DS would be shouted upstairs to sort it out himself. Started this at the age of 5 and he is now 9 and wouldn't dream of leaving clothes and toys on the floor. He also hoovers, polishes and changes his bedding.

Start now with making them do it and be strict with it.

Original poster
Nannyplum2015 · 15/02/2015 18:24

Hmm 6 and 4. It's not Kim and aggy standard or anything, it's almost spotless fortnightly, it's just the mess! I think you're right in regards to putting dirty clothes away. I need to encourage it a bit more.

OP posts:
Quitelikely · 15/02/2015 18:31

It's not wrong but it's unnecessary IMO.

They can both be asked to pop their clothes in the laundry basket each night and also I don't know if you have any toy storage solutions in their room but they are great for hiding toys.

Artandco · 15/02/2015 18:35

I would get them doing that themselves daily tbh.
Mine are 3 and 5 and wouldn't dream of leaving dirty stuff on the floor. Any clean clothes they have to place on a certain chair if they can't put away themselves, and toys all off floor and tidy before dinner

HappydaysArehere · 15/02/2015 18:55

When my daughters were at home their bedrooms were a source of continual conflict. One of them drove me into despair. So much so that I had to steel myself to open the door. However, they left home and suddenly became tidier than their mother!!

Original poster
Nannyplum2015 · 15/02/2015 19:06

Artandco - do you have to supervise/help them tidy and out clothes away or do they do that theirselves?

OP posts:
Artandco · 15/02/2015 19:18

Nanny - no they do it themselves. Generally they put anything folded away, if it's become unfolded or needs hanging they leave on chair in bedroom so dh and I can do when next in there. Toys they put away themselves 95% of the time, if lots out we help a bit and leave them to finish. Otherwise would just say 10 mins until dinners ready, please can you make sure toys are tidied away.

Chertsey · 15/02/2015 19:18

Mine are older. I just close the door now and make them clean it properly, under beds, hoover corners, damp duster, windows etc every school holiday.

Mine were just like yours at 3 & 5 ArtandCo......

WhenTheDragonsCame · 15/02/2015 19:19

My DDs have to tidy their own room and they are also 6 and 4. I occasionally help as does their 13 year old sister but mainly I make them do it, they did this morning in fact. We don't have a cleaner so it never look immaculate but it is good enough. Though I do end up with a pile of washing afterwards! Now I am trying to get them to make their beds when they get up and tidy their toys away each day so they don't have a build up.

18yearstooold · 15/02/2015 19:29

Both my dds used to keep their bedrooms beautifully tidy but these days it's not worth the fight -I just shut their doors

Artandco · 15/02/2015 19:34

Chetsey - they can keep it clean or move out once older. Dh and I hate mess, so afraid they will have to follow our rules whilst they live here. Mess whilst playing ie toys everywhere is ok, it's not ok to then walk off and do something else leaving it everywhere

Chertsey · 15/02/2015 19:35

Hmm, what do you do about the years between 12 & 16?!

I would have said exactly the same as you 6-7 years ago, but as with everything about parenting, we learn.

ironingismorerelaxingthansex · 15/02/2015 19:42

I purchased a rake to use indoors specifically for this purpose!! It is a bloody brilliant way of getting all the dirty laundry out of their rooms.

Toys though? Hmm, teach them to tidy, at the moment you are giving them the message that you don't care and it is acceptable. Your money buys their toys and belongings I assume!!

Original poster
Nannyplum2015 · 15/02/2015 19:47

A rake? Lol Grin I think I'll tidy their rooms tomorrow and explain new rules. I'm hoping this might be the start of tidy rooms!

OP posts:
Artandco · 15/02/2015 20:07

Between 12-16? Erm confiscate phones/ laptops/ tv/ etc

I remember always slamming my bedroom door at the age of 13 when my parents told me off and to tidy as said the mess could stay behind the door. My dad removed my door! Took me 6 months to be allowed a door back!

Silvercatowner · 15/02/2015 20:10

Pick your battles - no one ever died from a messy room. My two were compliant small people, absolutely atrocious teenagers and now, in their mid and late 20s are tidy and clean. I could never be arsed confiscating phones etc.

surroundedbyblondes · 15/02/2015 20:14

My DDs are also 6 and 4. They are expected to put dirty washing in the laundry basket though I put clean washing away straight into their wardrobes. They tidy up toys, though need reminding at times and DH or I might lend a hand. Like a pp said, we work hard to buy toys and nice clothes and I find it disrespectful to leave them lying around. That said, we're a family and they're still small so we help them.

Chertsey · 16/02/2015 07:17

Absolutely pick your battles. It's great when little ones learn a few chores and do their rooms properly. By the time they're 13 you've got bigger things to deal with and more important things to care about.

How's your relationship with the father who removed the door ArtandCo?

One of the most important parenting lessons I have learned is you don't ever judge others' parenting until you've been through that stage with at least 3 different children.

Artandco · 16/02/2015 07:22

I get on fine with my father after the door incident.

ScathingContempt · 16/02/2015 09:18

Ours tidied their bedrooms from being very young, around 3. The level of work needed increased with age obviously but I would say by 7 they were fully expected to clean and tidy their bedrooms - including hoovering - every week. Failure resulted in loss of part of their pocket money. This still applied throughout their teens, which saved me quite a bit of pocket money at times, haha!

When little I'd explain what they had to do, inspect it, point out what they'd missed and give them a chance to redo it before applying sanctions. By teens I'd just expect them to know how to do it.

Best thing you can do is get them into the habit of tidying as they go along, it's a habit I struggle with myself and I wish I was better at.

maninawomansworld · 16/02/2015 18:21

6 years old can tidy their own room with help.

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