AIBU to move to Australia for a happier life?

[traveldreamz]

DH and I have been talking about living abroad for years. When we had DS 3, we stopped talking about it and settled down to the daily grind of working, commuting and childcare. Both of us are fed up of it (although who isn't TBF!) and DS has started to get exhausted from being at nursery full time so weekdays have become one big long battle from the time we get up to the time we put DS to bed. We both find it very hard to tolerate the long dark UK winters and apart from our family who we rarely see due to work & childcare commitments we could keep in contact over Skype or email in the same way we do now.

We would both be classed as skilled workers under the visa application process so as long as we can both secure jobs similar to the ones we have now, the sums seem add up and it looks like we should be better off than we are now. The school's look comparable to the UK so DS education would be taken care of.

We love the more relaxed culture, the sun and the nature. The main problem is that our family would be very upset and quite possibly wouldn't talk to us for a long time and would probably never visit.

Australia isn't all it's cracked up to be...

Housing is expensive - a two bedroom, small gardened house in my suburb is $800k+
Childcare is expensive - $120/day
It's hot - I don't remember the last time it dropped below 25 degrees (at half 10 at night it's 28 outside)
Cars are expensive
Grocery shopping is expensive
Utilities are expensive
Health insurance is expensive
Healthcare is expensive ($70 for a GP visit at my practice)
Once you're in Australia, it's expensive to go anywhere! There is no EasyJet/RyanAir etc.
It's really, really far from the UK. Think we dropped $5k on flights last time we came home.

You still have to work, still have to commute, still have the daily grind.

There are lots of lovely things about Oz, and I love living here, but it's not necessarily a better life...just different.

Pesto, I find it easier to go off to work here ^because^ the sun is shining so there's no battling with umbrella, coat, hat, scarf, rain, snow and so on. It's easier to do everything when the sun shines.

Australia is a loooong way away. My advise would be to ditch the commuting but stay in the UK. As a teacher you can work anywhere. Are you in the SE of England? Have you thought about the SW? (If daylight in winter is really important) Or the North? Long summer nights. There are so many places you can walk to work, be surrounded by stunning scenery and gain hours of your life back!

I emigrated for a better life and have never regretted it. I don't miss the uk at all.

You do need to choose carefully where you move to. We moved to a state with low population density, low housing costs, easy commuting, good schools. I like the weather better because we get summers that are warm and dry for beach going and exploring, and cold snowy winters for skiing.

I would have considered Australia but not one of the big expensive cities.

Have you thought about working in an international school?

I know several people who have returned from living abroad because they missed family and friends so couldn't settle in their new location. Have you actually thought about the reality of living so far away from your family, especially as they get older and can't come to visit? Sunshine can't make up for being isolated with no friends and feeling homesick.

I agree with the advice about considering another part of the UK to live in. There are many places that are within easy travelling distance of a beach and beautiful open countryside. If you were able to reduce your mortgage by moving to a cheaper area there would be far less pressure on you both. I believe that should be the first option to consider before thinking about emigrating.

I'd recommend Adelaide/Hobart over the other major cities. Not as many tech jobs but cost of living is much lower.

I second those who have said to try moving to another part of the UK first.london leads to a particular (exhausting!) lifestyle.

I live in a small (and very famous) city in the north of England. House prices are pretty good - our large 4 bed with a double garage is worth about £300k if that. We each have a commute of less than 20 mins by bike excluding the dropping off kids time. We can afford for me to work part time (3 days a week) and dh to work flexibly (one short day a week).

We are close to some very nice outdoorsy type things with some gorgeous nature less than 20 mins drive away.

Weather's pretty rubbish though!

Have you ever seen Wanted Down Under? There are loads of episodes on iplayer at the moment. People go to Australia and see if they would really like to live there.

I like the look of Australia, but always laugh when the people on the programme say they are going 'for theopportunities' as I genuinely can't fathom why 'the opportunities' there are any better to here.

If I was thinki g of going, I think I would go for a month in the middle of their winter before I commited

Good Luck whatever you decide to do

I've had a couple of long holidays in Australia. Brilliant place to visit, and I'm sure to live with the right attitude and enough cash.

but... when I got back from travelling himself and I looked at our place in the south-east and said 'very nice but we're out of here'.

we now live somewhere that has all the facilities we need in the nearby town. If you leave that town at 5:30pm the car queue is about five cars long. It is light till gone 10pm in the summer. The sky is beautifully blue on sunny days. Yes, we get rainy days and dull days but we also get lots of lovely weather. (this was heavily researched, we are not in Cornwall!)

there are stunning beaches 90 mins away; same as if you lived in central Melbourne but without the crowds, insects, murderous UV and so on. There are loads of historic places within an hour's drive or less. There is fantastic walking from the doorstep. There is employment, good schools etc. Of course there are the same social and economic problems you get anywhere, but it is the UK so it isn't really that bad.

there's no shortage of water as in Australia. I am in the same time zone as my family and friends - not 9 hours out of phase as I would be in Oz. My family are in London, 3 hours away to the east.

decent TV without ads, newspapers that take more than 2 minutes to read, drinkable tap water...

my point is that what you seek may be a lot nearer than Australia.

Do your homework. My cousins live in Australia; one is coming back to the UK after a couple of decades down under, and the other is considering doing so because of appalling chauvinism in her field (civil engineering). But if you can get on with the culture, then I gather it's a very nice lifestyle.

Grass is always greener though. As an expat myself I know a lot of miserable expats!

I agree with others, check out the country first. I live overseas (not Australia) and I do think it was the right decision for us. But we have friends/family jobs and paperwork. You really need to know what you're getting into. Moving overseas is not cheap. Shipping alone costs thousands.
You say nature, you do realise that means deadly creatures right? One of the first things my DCs do in the UK is take off their shoes and socks and run through long grass with their eyes closed. Instead of looking out for snakes with every step!

As others have said, look for ways you could try out living there - such as a job share - without having to commit to a permanent move. And think carefully and honestly about how you enjoy spending your time. Will Oz offer you what you are looking for?

I worked in Oz for a year. Loved my time there but still opted to come back to the UK rather than extend my contract.

On the plus side:
Sunshine obviously - particularly the predictability of the weather. You know that, if you plan a picnic for Saturday, there is a 99% chance of it being fine. Also, it is sunnier in the winter, even in colder cities like Melbourne, so you don't mind winter so much

Friendliness

General informality

Very varied scenery & lots to do outdoors.

Mood of optimism

On the downside:
Sunshine: it is too frigging hot to be active outdoors much of the year. At 5 am, the beaches are packed with walkers & runners because it is too hot to go later.

Although friendly, lots of Australians have gone to school, uni & settled down in the same town. Groups of friends go back decades and it may be hard to break in.

Though less formal than the UK at work, they can be surprisingly bureaucratic and humourless. Australians take themselves quite seriously. You will be expected to take a lot of teasing about "whinging Poms" with a smile, but they won't find it funny if you take the piss back.

They are generally pretty inclusive towards immigrants (whinging Pom gags aside), but the levels of open racism towards aboriginal peoples are shocking. There is also a very macho culture.

You will be starting again. You'll keep in touch with friends and family back in the UK, but realistically, there are many you will never see again.

Yes, there is lots to do outdoors but there is nothing to do on a wet Wednesday. Even in Sydney & Melbourne, you could visit every museum & cultural centre in a day. Western Oz is 4-5 hours from much of Asia, but the east coast is a very long way from the rest of the world (apart from NZ which doesn't count as no Australians seem to go there).

I would never dream of moving to Australia but I'm enjoying this thread, love hearing all the different viewpoints :)

DH has two lovely, polite, amazing cousins from Australia (brisbane) who have both stayed with us. They were great, but I was a little surprised at how little they knew about culture or history. The 18 year old had never been to a museum in his life, for example.

Go because you want to experience life in a different place, not because you think things will be better away from the UK. Moving because of all the negative things at home isn't necessarily the best reason to make such a drastic move. Australia is great but posters have already listed the pros and cons. I lived in NZ for a while and echo the sheer expense of everything and just how far away things are. You can't just pop across for a long weekend somewhere outside of the country although from some parts of Oz other countries such as Indonesia etc are more accessible. I felt the isolation strongly in terms of cultural outlook as well as being away from friends and family. Loved it though - consider NZ too as well as Australia! I don't understand either the comments about never having been - DB and his family moved there six years ago without ever having been and are now citizens. So I'm not saying
at all that you shouldn't do it (it's a great adventure) but weigh up things a bit nearer to home too.

Consider also things like politics - I never thought it would make a difference to me but I was surprised how strongly I felt about certain issues and the impact that had.

I live in a major European city now and am very happy here. Don't ever see me living back in the UK. Perhaps what you are looking for is much closer than you realise?

But absolutely do not be blackmailed by your family either - it is your decision alone, not theirs!

We emigrated to Perth 6 years ago and it was the best decision we ever made! I am a teacher too so any questions feel free to ask.

Yes australia is very very expensive but the wages are relative to the cost of living. In the uk we both worked and had zilch savings, here my husband works (albeit in a better job than before) I am a sahm and we can afford to save a little each month, so while you will be shocked at the cost of your weekly shop remember it is all relative.

As long as you have a 4 year degree (or 3 year and Pgce) your qualifications are transferable. The problem arises when people do a three year teacher training course in the uk, then you have to do a Pgce equivalent in Australia to bridge the gap.

Research research research!!! We moved to Australia without ever having set foot in it so I don't think you need to come on a holiday first. Holidays are unrealistic anyway and as you'll have no work rights you'll find it difficult to secure interviews etc, personally I think it's a bit pointless but I do know of a few people where one partner has moved out a month before the other to secure accommodation/ work etc before bring children. Be realistic and do lots and lots of research!

There is no such rule that Aussies have to be offered jobs first. If someone isn't getting work it's to do with their skills not their nationality. Why would an employer want a crap aussie to do the job over a qualified skilled German/ English/ Chinese worker?? There is a rule where an overseas worker cannot be sponsored on a 457 visa if there is a similar qualified australian available to do the work so I think that's where this 'urban myth' has sprung up from. This won't be a problem for you if you get a skilled visa like the one you mentioned earlier. These visas cost around 5 grand.

On a skilled visa you will be entitled to Medicare so hospital cover is free, you'll also need health insurance for tax purposes if not health related anyway. Bulk billing doctors are everywhere (in Perth anyway) so doctors costs are covered by Medicare.

Childcare is expensive but everyone gets a 50% rebate that is not means tested up to $7500. So dc's childcare would be $84 per day but I would get $42 per day back as a lump sum at the end of the month. You only pay the full amount once you reach the $7500 threshold. Obviously working full time you'll reach it quicker, sending one dc one day per week you'll never pay it.

I've seen one snake in the 6 years I've lived here. Depends where you choose to live. I live in a suburb near Perth and get my house sprayed yearly so don't get cockroaches either.

It's not the right decision for everyone, some people get overwhelmingly homesick, only you will have an idea if this will be you. You have a huge amount of great information on this thread but a huge amount of misinformation passed on from friends of friends too... Do loads and loads of research before you make any decisions.

Feel free to ask any questions and best of luck with the decision making.

We live in NZ - definitely somewhere to consider if you veto Oz. We moved from the UK 5 years ago and have a 3 year old girl who was born out here. We both earn really good money, live 2 mins from the beach and housing is cheap (we live in Dunedin). More than happy for you to PM me if you want more info.

Good luck in your decision

OP, I wonder how much of an outdoorsy person you are? Looking at the people I know who have made a home in Oz, the ones who are happiest seem to be those who like to go surfing or swimming or sunbathing or having barbecues - I get the impression that life out there, especially in the summer, tends to be much more sociable than here, because you can just spontaneously throw a barbecue, say, at the weekend, and know that all your friends will be able to come and enjoy it. They don't seem to spend nearly as much time as we do huddled in our little houses watching tv. (But then the tv isn't nearly so good out there, and neither is the radio - so if those things matter to you then you might want to take that into account.)

I agree about the cost and so on - a lot of things will remain the same wherever you are.

we are very settled here in Aus, and my commute is less than 30mins each way, which is great, but DD still has to go to After School Care.
We have been here more than a decade, and since then house prices have rocketed...stupidly so.

We are lucky that we have keep up with rocketing house inflation, but new incomers would find it very hard. Wages are far better here but of course that is absorbed by a mortgage.
Saying that we find lots of free things to do at weekends and have annual passes to the zoo (for example) and go there often.
We are in Melbourne where it can get pretty cold in winter but it is not freezing with snow and frost (except in the mountains where the ski resorts are located)

Agree, definitely do the homework on jobs, commutes, etc. In the big cities there are some stonkingly long commutes to the suburbs. When I see some eps of "Wanted Down Under", the places they're looking at are often a long way out.

I teach secondary in Melbourne, so feel free to PM if you like, OP

Do not agree it's humid and you need the aircon on all the time, that depends on where you live on this continent, and the design of your house. What is true about the weather is just how quickly it gets hot, moving from pretty nice to too hot in a very short space of time. For this reason, a lot of the outdoor life is very much shaded. I agree what was said upthread about the spontaneity the weather affords, that underscores the outdoor life. I've never understood the "grey and cloudy Melbourne winters"; it gets far less cold than any London winter, and most of the time it's sunny. Possibly people who thought Au is hot and sunny all the time and didn't do any elementary research are peeved.

The nature is utterly fabulous, though you will definitely miss public footpaths.

Thinking things will be better than in the UK and making this a basis for moving is not a good idea, because any shortfalls in expectation will turn out to be Australia's fault.

OP, you say your family's upset and possibly not speaking to you holds you back. I can see upset being a problem, but if anyone cuts you off as you anticipate, then you're well shot of them. You could easily upset them in the UK. The not visiting is sad, though, assuming it would be for non-punitive reasons. None of my family has ever visited me in the nine years I've been here. But then they didn't do much of that in the UK, either, so nothing new.

Sorry, OP, I see your main contact with family is via Skype and emails due your busy life, then objectively, doing the same for Au should not cause a problem. However, that's probably not how they might see it.

In the end, you have to live your own life.

I'm not writing to descourage you, I live in Mexico, which is closer to the UK than Australia. I have now lived a large part of my adult life here but it is hard having half the people I love on the other side of the world and not the time or the money to be flying back and forth. My dd has the same problem. And this problem wouldn't be solved by moving back, just reversed.