You grab a table while I queue up....

[Grandshiredoubles]

Which means that some people before you can't get anywhere to sit. Happened today in Waitrose where the naice people should kmow better. Do you think people should wait until they have their food before getting a table or Aibu. Talking about YOU lady with the red shoes in malvern today

Morning vienna.

I once had a naice, but flustered-looking older lady go a bit mental at me in the Waitrose Cafe, over something like this. She came up to me afterwards and said sorry.

I don't mind people bagging seats in cafes. I think it's completely understandable, practical, and a good idea. To do the opposite (wander round in groups with trays full of food) is just turning self-imposed manners into martyrdom.

What DOES annoy me is people "reserving" seats in the cafe part of soft-play centres, then going off to play for about 16 billion hours. And I hate that I will meekly wander round with my DC and a tray loaded with food just because a table has a pair of Doodles shoes on it and an anorak.

Is this really a thing that people get annoyed about?? It makes no sense to buy food and drink at a place unless you know you've got somewhere to sit.

And it's not the same as standing in a parking place or till to reserve it. Parking spaces are for cars to park on, not people to stand on. Tills are for paying for goods, not standing. Seats in cafes are for customers to sit on.

Frankly, if I'd left my children (if I had older children) at a table in a cafe while I bought the food and people had sat in the other seats at the table, I'd be giving them an earful when I got back and yes, would physically pick up their food and move it if they got arsy with me. Just because the person at the table isn't an adult doesn't mean you can do as you please.

It's different if the cafe has a policy or larger tables, or even if the person had approached me in the queue to check it was alright.

To those who think people sitting while one person queues is rude, you're illogical to a fault.

And to those of you who'd actually sit down uninvited at a table where my children were waiting for their meal, more fool you. You're frankly the height of rudeness and I expect you'll encounter someone like me before long.

Cupid what about if it's a single person who hasn't been able to reserve a table, hasn't anywhere else to sit and there is a spare seat at your table even on your return?

Do you think people should wait until they have their food before getting a table or Aibu.

Cant be bothered to wade through this, but its arse about face. Why would anyone, order food, without knowing they had a seat?

Standing with a full tray of heavy plates, whilst my food goes cold, in peoples way, with small DC, waiting for a table...that someone less laden down would probably grab anyway> No way! if you cant get a seat, you don order the food.

I've been that single person before. The simple fact is we can't be in two places at once. I either decide to go elsewhere or I find a table that isn't full up and ask if they'd mind if I sit with them as the place is quite full, then I go and get my food/drink.

To do the opposite (wander round in groups with trays full of food) is just turning self-imposed manners into martyrdom.

But its also dangerous! Wandering round with loads of plates and pots of tea...I struggle to do it, let alone little old people and who knows else...

This has been done so many times. If there are no free tables I go elsewhere. If I'm with somebody one sits down and other person gets food. Or else two of you will be wandering around with tray. If I'm on my own I go somewhere that has quite a few free tables. It's only common sense.

I do this and think YABU (naturally), there is no point wandering around in my opinion looking for a table with drinks on a tray and usually food in my case.

Coffee shops usually cram as many tables in as they can and frankly I don't want to have to march up and down the various corners of the coffee shop while trying not to spill a drink on a strangers head. Much easier if you have a seat ready to go to. If there aren't seats available then I'll go elsewhere or if I'm alone I take a judged risk as to whether there will be enough room once I get my drink.

In any case, I'm now pregnant and huge. I wish it didn't but standing up in a queue makes me feel dizzy and once this baby comes out I'm not going to queue with her and my DH just so I don't offend someone who is probably only ever going to rant about me on the Internet.

Er, I don't know if anyone has already mentioned this, but in a sit down café or restaurant you get a table before you order your food. That's not odd. In a pub serving food you are usually asked to get a table number them order at the bar... that's not odd or rude either. So why is this???

We do this. Why spend £10+ on food and then have no where to sit and eat it?

I am often on my own and can't bag a seat- it really isn't a problem for one- generally someone is just leaving or I can easily find a space on an occupied table. It would be very mean spirited to think that because I can't bag a seat, couples and families shouldn't! They need to because they can't slot into odd places.

I always do this if have dcs old enough to nab with me. I DONT CARE.

What the hell point is there of all the family getting in the way in the queue, of course you sit down while one of you orders. If you are on your own go somewhere less busy so you are guaranteed a seat.

I'm on the fence, I think it totally depends on the place and how busy it is. If you enter a cafe and note that other people are bagsying tables while queuing then yes join in. It would be rude however, to bagsy a table if nobody else was doing it. Places like mcdonalds, I think it is a bit rude to hog tables while others queue, unless it is not busy. Reason being that often groups of friends will queue and order their meal separately and it is so fucking annoying to have your tray and wander around while people sit at tables with no food and probably won't get said food for another 10 mins by which point I would have eaten mine and be gone.

In pubs where you order at the bar etc then obviously you get your table first/

I hate it because I'm always on my own; there are usually a couple of free tables in all the cafes (all pretty busy usually, so no point just wandering around forever trying to find another one with dozens of free tables), and then by the time I've queued and got my drink, people are sitting at the tables waiting for someone queueing after me. Often if the queue is long, I'll be standing there drinking my coffee and be finished before that person is even at the till. grrr. Not sure what I expect anyone to do about it really, but it does take the pleasure out of going for coffee.

There is really no need to stand RunAwayHome- find a spare seat and ask if you can sit at it- I have never had anyone refuse yet! I tend to go for another loan person first.

I'm really surprised that this is even an issue. If I am on my own and the place is packed, I'll grab a coffee and pastry and go elsewhere to say sit on a park bench, take it back to the office if I am working, or go to a place with waitress service. Or find somewhere that isn't packed. But to be honest I wouldn't generally go to a cafe on my own to sit down anyway.

But if I am with friends/family, of course one or two if us will queue up and the rest will sit down. Why would you order drink/food and then find you've nowhere to sit with it? Also, how does having 5 people in a queue when you only need 1 or 2 to carry the stuff help?

But there usually aren't any spare seats at the tables once the families have taken them - these are coffee shops with tables for 2-3. I do ask I'd there is space but very often there isn't. And people grab all the spare chairs around to make bigger noisier groups that aren't easy to join.

I could just get takeaway and sit on a bench, but there aren't many, it's messy and cold, and I do quite like to sit in the cafe on my own for 20 min reading the paper and having my coffee. It's my chance to get out of the house and be around people!

But it's not a black and white thing. I agree that in a group, I'd probably do much the same thing, though I hope we would wait til there was obviously more space. So I totally get the reasoning behind it, just find it frustrating when I'm left standing. It's not a problem with an easy solution given the sort of cafes there are around me, and given how very busy they are ( and often how filled with students for hours in end).

So I don't think people are being unreasonable some of the time, though I wish they'd look more at the size of the queue or notice that if people are standing around with drinks and their teenager sits waiting at a table for ages while they're I'm the queue, they could suggest they move or share or something.

And it depends loads on the sort of place it is and the frequency of turnover and just the sort of customs that have built up.

I have never seen one without single spaces!
Just because I am on my own and can't 'bag' a table doesn't mean that everyone shouldn't bag one. It is very difficult for 2 people to find spare seats together and virtually impossible for 3 or more. One is easy. Generally I find someone is just going anyway.

Lucky you. Not here. Most are filled or with extra chairs leaving other tables with just one. Too many people going to cafes I guess!

Not a massive issue, just annoying those times when it happens to you, spaces when you go in, nothing by the time you've got through your order. But also annoying not finding a place when there are two or three or you, I agree.

Everyone being as considerate possible given their own situations is probably the best we can get!

Oh yes I generally do this - why not? makes sense one of you to baggsy a table and one of you to order…. especially as kindle says. In a busy restaurant/cafe/area etc

if however you're in a quiet restaurant/cafe/area and there are plenty of tables then it makes more sense for both of you or 3/4 etc to queue together.

also RedSolo - I totally agree why would you hover with a tray of hot food (getting colder all the time) whilst scanning a busy place for a table?

I'm a single mum with a young DS & i have to say it really winds me up having to struggle with a tray of food going cold, a hungry DS & a pushchair while people smugly sit on their nice tables waiting for family to bring their food.

why not do this? well because it can sometimes block free tables for ages whilst people who are on their own have nowhere to sit

why hover with a tray? well maybe because you are on your own, and there were free tables when you came in, which have now been occupied by families whilst someone queues

It's good to be able to see it both ways. There is no obvious right or wrong, but it helps if people can see it from both sides - it's annoying not to get a table with two or three of you; it's annoying to have to hover with a hot drink when all the spare seats that were there when you came in were gone. The more people can see it from both sides, the more likely they will be more generally aware of other people and more considerate overall.

Mia1415 people aren't 'smugly' sitting there, they are sitting normally like anyone else. Just because you can't bag a table why should someone else not, I wouldn't feel upset at anyone just because my situation is difficult. I think it's pretty normal for one person to get the table and another to bring the food.