To not bother with this pushy parent.

[BoredTutor]

So for the past year or so I've been a private tutor to earn some extra money. I teach mainly A-level IB and charge £25 an hour. I've met some great people and think I do a pretty good job (although I'm still fairly new to this).

I have this one student who at the moment is going to fail he IB in my subject.

I've repeatedly told this kid and his parents that he has to sit and learn the material. I give him summary notes (a few pages a week) and just ask that he learns them off by heart but both him and his parents insist he doesn't have time. He is a few months away from his exam and knows about 5% of the syllabus despite being fairly bright.

They're pissed off that he didn't get a great mark in his coursework despite my help but he didn't tell me about the work until our lesson (7pm on a Sunday) when it had to be in the next morning. He hadn't even started it, and didn't understand the concepts involved. I talked him through the concepts during our lesson, and explained what material should be in each section, even finding the sections in his textbook that he really just needed to put into his own words. I actually feel I gave him an unfair advantage compared to other kids who would have just tried to understand themselves but his parents seem to feel my guidance wasn't enough.

Other students often email me questions during the week and I answer the same day often with long explanations and personally written notes. I often produce bespoke notes for them to help with particular problems they have. I have more requests for tutoring than I can fulfil (this is mainly just through lack of tutors at this level in the area although I've had a few requests through personal recommendation). This guy never bothers, I can't imagine he so much as glances at the work unless I'm there with him.

Should I just continue to tell him and his parents that he's going to fail unless he does some work, they always seem to imply that it's my job to MAKE him pass but I can't really be bothered to put any more effort in. I already spend an hour or two a week preparing notes for him and it's just not worth the money. (If a student is really trying I'm happy to go above and beyond) am I BU to just turn up to the lessons do my best but not really care if he fails?

Tell him he is off your books. Entitled attitude and will soon get a wake up call. No doubt they'll blame everyone for his failings bar themselves

Drop him. It is not your fault that he does no work. You cannot make him learn anything if he does not want to learn. I'd ditch him on the basis that 'I am here to tutor people, and if they do not follow up my 'recommendations and suggested research*' then there is no need for me to be involved.

• word this as the things that you do for them.

If you were making a mint on the situation, I'd say, "meh, keep going" but you say it is not worth it so I say cut them loose.

I'd tell the parents that I have to stop the tutoring because the child is persistently failing to do the work set by me, despite repeated warnings and complaints to the parents.

Tell them you have a waiting list and you are giving the place to a family who prioritise study over other things.

Did you get them to sign one of those home-school type agreements that says stuff about doing the homework etc?

I do tutoring too and had one student like this. It's irritating when I have other students with less ability who are working so hard. I didn't chuck him off but I just kept stating that he wouldn't do well without doing the work. He never contacted me to let me know how he did......so at least i didn't get any complaints :)

My DD1 is in Y13 doing IB and, while I completely understand how time pressured these students are, I think I would lose patience with this student. My guess is that they wanted you to do the coursework for him.

If you're sure this is just about not being bothered, I would be blunt. He still has some time to do some decent revision if he drops everything else. My DD is feeling guilty because she has made plans for four out of nine days of half term. She will have her head in her books for the whole of all the other days. That's what it takes to get half decent IB results.

If he isn't committed, there's very little you can do. Do they think you can disguise yourself and take the exam on his behalf?

I would give the student self help advice on procrastination and avoidance, motivation, careers advice, show him the checkout at Tescos if needs be.

Tell parents that's what he needs. You can lead a horse to water etc...

Either drop him as a pupil or/and email the parents (so it is in writing) explaining that as a tutor you expect a minimal commitment from your students (you can detail what this is eg at least 3 days notice of any coursework assignments they want to cover with you; at least 2 hours reading/revision between lessons, etc). Then point out that unless their DS fulfils his requirements then he will not pass his exam and/or you will no longer tutor him. If you want to give him another chance, then the first time he turns up and says he hasn't done the work or reading that you asked him to do, you can drop him as a pupil.

It may be that he's lazy. It may be that your teaching style doesn't fit well with his learning style. From your post, you seem to focus a lot on reading and memorising. If he struggles with those techniques then he may need more support and/or a different approach. You don't have to change your teaching style but you probably do have to realise that it won't work for everyone.

I occasionally tutor and I'm surprised at the gaps in DCs' learning techniques/styles. With some, I have to take time to explain different techniques for memorising information and with others, the best way they learn is actually through discussing the concepts not reading about them. However you can't make someone be interested or hardworking. It's ok to tell them that it isn't working.

Thanks for the replies - really useful. I had never thought of signing an agreement with a student before tutoring them - such a good idea.

To be fair to him I know he really wants to do art and so is concentrating his efforts there which is fine but if he wants to get a passing grade in physics he's going to have to do at least some work.

APlaceinthewinter it could well be that I'm not a good fit for him, I don't usually concentrate on memorisation, for most students they know the material but fall down on applying it in difficult situations. He's the opposite un that when he knows it he can answer the questions quite well.

I think I'll just be clear that he needs to do XYZ during the week (this is seriously only about an hour or two a week) and if he doesn't there's no point continuing with tutoring.

I'd test him at the start of each session OP - and after three fails ditch him. The test needs to be just on the stuff that you gave him to do that week. Then you have your proof that he is not doing any work between sessions.

Yes I would tell the boy and his parents straight, and tell them that there is no point in you tutoring him, if he is not going to put in the work.