Dp's "health anxiety"

[Beearr]

4 years ago dp got shingles. Since then he's gone backwards and forwards to doctors over everything from nerve pain, stomach pain, kidney pain, prostate pain, chest pain ... To cut long story short he's convinced himself he has cancer and because of his insistent trips to the doctors (weekly at one point) he's had every test going from full bloods, urine, stool, MRI scans, ultrasounds ... Every time he gets the all clear he develops new symptoms which he then bothers the dr about. Eventually his old doctor decided he had health anxiety and referrered him for counselling. I supported him all the way with this but he decided it was a waste of time and refused to go. The worst thing was though he ceased to have an empathy with anyone else, when my grandad died dp didn't want to know, when my mum was diagnosed with skin cancer he didn't want to know. If, god forbid I'm ever ill, he doesn't want to know. He's just obsessed with his own illnesses, of which the professionals can find none.

Anyway because it has dragged on so long I began losing patience with him. Now he's taken to making secret doctors appointments. I know he's made two this week as his emails pop up on the iPad. He outright lies and says he's working late.

AIBU to find it all a bit draining? Doesn't help that I'm a nurse and surrounded by genuinely ill people all the time I suppose.

Random, your MH problems didn't cause you to lose empathy so no one else's MH problems should cause them to lose empathy. You do realise the irony in what you're saying there right?

Yanbu to find it draining, but it is a debilitating mental illness and I promise it is far more draining for the sufferer.

I suffered HA for two years, it took over my entire life, I'd never wish it on anyone. The lack of understanding surrounding HA is extremely isolating, I feel so sorry for your DP.

An annoying hobby? That's really undermining the mental torture that is HA. And he IS genuinely ill, just not psychically.

I also suffer from this, have for years now. Mine got worse after i had my daughter. I tried to control it and kept it to myself but it was with me every minute of every day. I couldn't hear about any one else's illness, not because i didn't care but because I'd add it to my list of things i had. I went to the doctor and have been on citalopram for over a month now and it's really taken the edge off. I hope your husband gets help because it really does ruin your life.

A relative had this. They simply couldn't cope anymore and committed suicide. It was devastating.

This article might throw some light on how hard living with this condition must be - you probably do get real physical pain, nausea, etc www.bbc.com/future/story/20150210-can-you-think-yourself-to-death?utm_content=bufferc8c30&utm_medium=social&utm_source=twitter.com&utm_campaign=buffer - but maybe knowing this might help a bit - ie knowing your mind can make you ill suggests your mind also could have the power to make you better?

Oh foxtrot, I can completely understand how your relative must have felt, it genuinely is no life to live and I'm so sorry they couldn't see a way out.

Cabbage you are right, there are many many physical symptoms with health anxiety. Unfortunately it only feeds the belief that there must be something wrong with you, and that cycle is extremely hard to break.

OP, please please be kind to your DP. I sympathise with anyone having to live with a health anxiety sufferer, I know my DP felt the same way about me. You don't realise what he is going through, that is understandable why would you. It sounds totally mad from an outsiders perspective but its real and its completely and utterly debilitating.

Have the GPs suggested anything to him? CBT or anti depressants may help him. Has he spoke with other sufferers? There's a wonderful forum out there that IMO saved my life.

I really hope he gets something sorted because it is horrible, absolutely horrible. Feel free to PM me if you need to.