To feel left out since I got ditched from the carpool?

[olaflikeswarmhugs]

Started uni in September and a group of us palled up . Half already had a carpool going and the other half of us tried to get one going but one wanted to get the train so that left me and another girl .

However since then the other girl has joined the other carpool so now I'm travelling up on my own a lot .

But I feel like since this has happened I've ended up being on my own a lot and left out of things . Even things like walking to car park after class they would just all leave and I would be left to walk myself I did mention this yesterday and asked them to wait on me

The latest thing is a picture of a lunch today that they have all been tagged in on facebook .

They're a lovely bunch of girls I don't think they are doing it on purpose but I'm really starting to feel left out

I don't think they're not nice people and I honestly don't think they are doing it on purpose but that still doesn't stop me from feeling excluded even if it isn't intentional .

And actually now that I think of it it doesn't really matter because we go out on placement in about 6 weeks then when we come back half of us are splitting off to specialise ... Bet I'll look good for a carpool then though

Also I'd just like to point out that the car park thing was just an example not the only thing that's happened/been happening . Not that it really matters anyway but it's just cos that seemed to be the focus of the discussion thought I'd put that out there

if there sre a group of friends and theyre all heading in the same direction then its normal to walk together.
if a colleague says hes giing to the canteen for a sandwich and id planned to go in the next half hour or so i grab my purse and go with him. thought that was normal

It depends how many are in the lecture and whether the OP is always last out and miles behind everyone else though. Plus are they a group of friends or just a group who agreed to have a large car share agreement that didn't work out. Plus the OP is presumably a mum and maybe others are too if it's mature students with cars rather than undergrads in halls and they all want to get home to see their kids/ do stuff not hang about waiting for someone who they were going to share cars with but don't.
It's not like a group of old school friends. This is married adults with families and cars going to a few lectures some of whom happen to car share.

I'd feel upset too.

Be friendly, don't avoid them but wait for them to invite you out, rather than initiating anything yourself. Walk with them to the car park if you are around at the same time as them but don't wait for them or expect them to wait for you. See what happens but don't pin your hopes on anything. Make some other friends. The worst thing you can do is appear needy.

If you have been hanging out together, sitting in lectures, having lunch ect then I would be hurt too.

Is there no room for you in the other car?

It's hurtful that one person ditched travelling with you to go in the other car. What reason did she give?

If they suddenly want lifts when you move around, i'd say no as I think they would be using you.

I would try not to worry about it too much and forget about it if you can. Get to know other people on your course. When you go on placement and then choose your specialisms you will be with different people anyway.
I went to university 20 years ago and I didn't get to know my long-lasting true friends until the beginning of my second year. The people I was friendly with in the first term I have absolutely no contact with any more.

My God, people read so much into absolutely everything..... As a poster said in one of the first replies - the car pooling didn't work out, that's it. Shortly after that someone else posts that "they don't sound nice anyway". Based on precisely what?? Walking together to get the car they're all sharing and not waiting for someone who isn't sharing with you?? That's very flimsy evidence, to put it mildly.

Yeap, don't overthink it OP. Anyway who ever ends up friends with the first people they make friends with in any school? You start out hanging out with the only people you have talked to a bit, but gradually that all changes.

Actually thats true. The people I have stayed friends with for 25 years were not the first people I got friendly with.

Are there really people here saying that others are arseholes for not waiting for another person simply because they're going to the same place?!? What a daft sentiment. I prefer my own company to someone I felt no affinity with and needed to make small talk with. It doesn't make me an arsehole, I'd just rather not put on an artificial front and let someone think I wanted to be their friend for the duration of that walk.

Ah Olaf I hope you find a way of not taking it all so personally as I'm sure they probably don't even realise they are leaving you out. When I come out of uni I just automatically walk to the carpark with whichever group or person I am talking to at the time. Also because I live quite far away all the other students can meet for a night out or yoga etc but they know I can't due to distance but still I love to hear their stories of their get togethers and I've promised them I will get to one of them at some point. I bet these people don't even realise they,re making you feel secluded..my advice is to throw yourself in there and make sure you,re having a convo with one of them when it comes to car park time and also invite yourself to things...you may give off a feeling you don't want to participate...show them you do