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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To lie to mortgage company

70 replies

siblingrevelryagain · 12/02/2015 19:34

DH and I split last year, I am in family home with our three young children (his affair).

I have always hated the house I'm in; it hasn't had any work done since we moved in 8 years ago due to having three children and me being SAHM, so is decidedly tired and shabby and the space doesn't work for us.

I have gone back to work in a school earning £9,000pa, so I want my DH to pretend we are still together so we can get a mortgage on a new home in the same town. My reasoning is that we currently have a mortgage together on this house so it's only swapping one for another, I will be paying the increased amount (£150 per month), and once we are divorced I will be stuck as I won't get a mortgage on my salary alone so this is my only chance.

There is a new development in town which would mean a shiny new house I wouldn't have to maintain as much, and more importantly would allow me to part-ex (this house would be very difficult to sell, whereas I think part-ex'ing might involve less focus on some of the cosmetic things).

So am I delusional in thinking of this as more of a 'white lie'-we're still married and we would both be as responsible in paying as when we were together. Or is this serious fraud?

OP posts:
Eltonjohnsflorist · 12/02/2015 20:17

I don't see any indication he'll claim to be living there. I've had a joint mortgage with a friend and my DF since 2008 and it's never any issue. You don't have to be in a sexual relationship with them Grin
I thought it was quite common for divorced/ separated couples to continue with joint mortgages.

Alisvolatpropiis · 12/02/2015 20:18

What happens when he meets someone or just gets fed up of it and has himself taken off the mortgage leaving you solely liable for it?

You won't be able to pay and your house will be repossessed. Lenders aren't fluffy bunnies about this. 3 months arrears and they'll commence proceedings. Depending on where you are and how quickly a court date is granted you could be out of the house 6 months from first missed payment.

You are mad to consider this.

Haffdonga · 12/02/2015 20:19

You both have to sign to say you will be living in the house. You have to sign to say you haven't got any other undeclared expenses (such renting as other properties). They go through bank statements with a fine tooth comb these days.

Eltonjohnsflorist · 12/02/2015 20:20

Also bizarrely not been asked for a breakdown of outgoings (most recent mortgage approved last May) although must admit I was surprised at that. Different lenders ask for different things, and it's also very dependant on the borrowers circumstances

Alisvolatpropiis · 12/02/2015 20:21

And yes as someone said upthread, they ask a lot of questions. My lender wrote to my employer requesting confirmation I was in the role I said I was and earning roughly what I said I was before they approved my mortgage at the beginning of last year. The boom years of just ticking boxes and not checking are well and truly over.

Eminybob · 12/02/2015 20:22

Elton the title of the aibu is "to lie to my mortgage company"

Lying to obtain credit = fraud.

Eltonjohnsflorist · 12/02/2015 20:25

Yes but is it not that the OP thinks she's lying by not telling them she's getting divorced? There doesn't seem to be a more specific lie than that. And the lender doesn't care whether they are in a relationship, they'll decide whether to lend based on the 2 applicants- they don't have to be in a relationship as the OP seems to think.

thatstoast · 12/02/2015 20:31

And the lender doesn't care whether they are in a relationship

Yes they do. They care that their mortgage will be repaid. The mortgage is more likely to be repaid by an actual couple running one household. Less likely to be repaid by one person who can't admits they can't afford the mortgage and another person with the expense of his own household.

I used to underwrite mortgages, it's a bad plan which probably won't work. The first lender they go to will find out and then load a fraud marker to their file and neither of them will be getting mortgages for quite a while.

Bearbehind · 12/02/2015 20:36

Surely this AIBU is completely pointless anyway?

It's not the OP's choice to make.

Why on earth would a man, who has chosen to leave his wife and 3 children, then choose to lie to a mortgage company in order to buy them a new home thereby preventing him from any kind of living arrangements with OW?

Alisvolatpropiis · 12/02/2015 20:38

I get the impression the op might not have floated the idea past him yet, Bear.

PtolemysNeedle · 12/02/2015 20:40

What is your ex doing for housing himself at the moment? Mightn't he want to get his own mortgage at some point in the future?

PeppermintPasty · 12/02/2015 20:41

I'm afraid it's definitely fraud, and would doubtless mushroom out of your control if you started down that road. I say this as a property lawyer. Please don't do it, go and get some advice from financial advisor and/or mortgage broker to discuss your (legal) options.

CocobearSqueeze · 12/02/2015 20:42

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Chippednailvarnish · 12/02/2015 20:45

OP this is your idea of a "white lie" Shock

Slutbucket · 12/02/2015 20:45

Erm it's not fraud if you are tenants in common. So you both own a share of the house. You can legitimately get a mortgage now without being together. Perfectly reasonable for a father to want to buy a home for his children . I would go to a mortgage advisor.

Original poster
siblingrevelryagain · 12/02/2015 20:45

Idea has been floated and is being considered, and I think at this stage it's the additional cost which makes him cautious - he will continue to pay the mortgage on this house as it's the home his three children live in. He was a shit to me in having an affair but is essentially good at heart and wants to see that the children and I remain in this town where there school is. He is paying this mortgage (although it's in both our names), and lives with his mother, although this isn't registered anywhere as we're not officially separated, so no other 'expenses'.

There would be no lying in legal terms; we are still married in law, we would be paying the money back in good faith (as we'd have to with this house that is currently mortgaged). He wouldn't stitch me up as I am the mother of his kids and they live where I live.

OP posts:
Loletta · 12/02/2015 20:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bearbehind · 12/02/2015 20:48

Absolutely honestly, given your update OP, if your DH agreed, I'd probably do it.

Alisvolatpropiis · 12/02/2015 20:49

Okay well you go ahead and commit mortgage fraud then. You'll get caught out eventually, most are, one way or another.

Goldmandra · 12/02/2015 20:49

What will happen when you are divorced?

Viviennemary · 12/02/2015 20:53

Not sure about this one. Of course you could be reconciled for however long the mortgage takes to go through and then split up again. And what if you're ex decides he wants a mortgage for a house of his own. Somebody could sign up for a mortgage buy a house and split up a week later. I'm not sure if it's fraud though. They'd have to prove that you weren't together.

amothersplaceisinthewrong · 12/02/2015 20:53

What if your ex wants to get a mortgage of his own and wants to stop paying towards yours down the line, or pay less and you have to move somewhere smaller. Can't see this working long term. Surely he won't live with his Mother for ever.

part exchange on a house will surely mean you get less for it.....

Slutbucket · 12/02/2015 20:54

Thing is you don't have to lie. He will still have a percent of the property etc. you can do this perfectly legally with a good solicitor. It would be like friends buying together. You'd both have a percentage etc. this is a common situation. For him he'll benefit from seeing his children in a nice house and will have some equity in his share.

sleeponeday · 12/02/2015 21:02

Given the expense of moving, mightn't it be worth asking some local small architects/builders/kitchen companies in to look at your house and see what could be done to improve it, and just extend the mortgage a bit? Moving costs so much - estate agent fees (IMO you would be nuts to part exchange) stamp duty, removal costs, inevitable new bits and bobs for new place, arrangement costs for new mortgage, survey. If your current space doesn't work for you and is tired cosmetically then surely you can add value? You lose value buying brand new as soon as the ink is dry. And you may be able to increase your current mortgage without committing fraud, perhaps, as presumably the checks are less stringent for existing customers, and you are now starting to work again (your ex and you may have savings you can dedicate, too?).

I'd talk to a mortgage broker and see what is available. But I wouldn't commit fraud - quite apart from any moral concerns (and bluntly I can't get too agitated about a victimless crime against a bank) what a sword of Damocles over both your heads, if the OW ever decided to stitch you both up. Do you really want to risk that one? As has been said, obtaining pecuniary advantage by deception is a crime. It could affect your employment as well as credit rating if you were caught and prosecuted.

sleeponeday · 12/02/2015 21:04

I do appreciate, by the way, that there are psychological reasons for a new start in a shiny new house. I just don't see that you have to move to obtain that.

I'd look into what can be done legally to obtain the £££ to sort the house you already have.