Or is DH? About dropping the DC at school on his way to work?

[BubbleGirl01]

He keeps being late for work and it is all my fault as I am 'making' him drop DC at school when I am a SAHM.

We have two cars. DTSs go to a school about 3 miles away which is on A route to DH's work. There is another route which he stopped using due to traffic on the motorway but he has been using the route that goes past DTSs school for a while now which is why I told him that he could do the school drop off for them rather than me having to put DS3 in the car to drive the DTSs to school and then drive back home to drop DS3 at school (his school is a 5 min walk from home).

So he drops DTSs off and I walk DS3 to school. Except he always leaves too late (10 mins on the loo this morning ), boys are waiting at the door for him. He used to be late for work before he started taking the DTSs but is now blaming it on me that I am lazy and should take the DTSs myself. I pick them up.

He was ironing his work trousers at 7.30 am this morning even though he has been off for the past two days.

I am a Uni student (attend 2 days a week although have only just returned) and deal with all the home and DC stuff. I had to stop working when we had the DTSs as DH wouldn't, even though my job was better pay and hours (9-5 Mon-Fri as opposed to his weekend/nights etc) than his. We have since had another DC who has just started school and I am now trying to get some qualifications to be in a better position to return to work in a reasonably paid job. I was on the salary DH is currently on 16 years ago!

He resents the fact that I am not at work not taking into account that I had to cancel my career to bring up our DCs .

He is pissed off and wants me working or doing EVERYTHING to do with the DC and the house especially as the youngest is now at school.

IHBU or perhaps a cunt?

He does realise they are his children? And they only get one childhood?

Exactly why are you with this controlling moron?

Think there's a wider issue here that will only get worse unless you sort. We worked out an ownership system where one of us did all of one thing so the other one could just ignore it. It starred out with sport but ended up being more wide scale. We both work. I do all food and shopping. He does all Washing. I do rugby. (Including all correspondence kit ) he does cricket.

It works. Plus shared icalendar

I honestly don't know what would make him change.
My ex was similar (one of the reasons why he is my ex).

Being single parent is much easier! You know you have only yourself to rely on.

RE: dropping kids - if he was getting to work for 7 AM you wouldn't ask him, as it is he has to just plan and get ready his clothes in the evening. My ex is still late for work and facing being sacked and his lateness and lack of organisation is one of the reasons. Imagine 51 year old man still not being able to get to work on time!!!! Similarly as an older son he was worshipped and never taught to be responsible. Different culture as yours as well. However I have support of his family and his siblings never criticized me for expecting him to help at home.

I can't advise you what to do and how to go on about it and can only symphatise.

There are arguments and decisions here that should really have happened some time ago, eg when you decided to give up work after the twins because your H refused to change hours or jobs.

At this point it doesn't sound like he will do anything to enable you to complete a degree or work. In your shoes I would be considering ending the relationship, and also my earning prospects, eg whether the degree would be likely to lead to a job with prospects vs pursuing a return to old field of work.

I am going against the grain. Both my husband and I work and we split the school run so neither of us are late on the days when we have to be in early.

Your eldest Childrens' school is only three miles away and you are at home anyway. I think you are being unreasonable. Being late for work is serious although I accept he could get up earlier.

HIBAC OP. He chose to make your lives harder by forcing you to stop working, when obviously it made more sense for him too. To be so begrudging of the very small role that falls to him shows how selfish he is. Ex was a bit like this. Expecting me to be grateful if he changed a nappy, thinking his job was more important than mine, even though we earned the same.

Well done on going back to study. It is a real achievement with 3DC

Please don't let your boys think this attitude to women is acceptable, though.

*to

I'd be getting some after dinner laxative chocolate.

Do you need to ask op?

Let him be late for work.

His look out. As long as the kids are at school on time, that is all that matters

He's a big boy, he can sort himself out. Or he can fuck the fuck off back to whatever misognystic "culture" he was dragged up by.

This is the west, you have kids, you step up and parent them, or you only get to see them EOW

Take no shit. Read him the riot act.

I take it he is awesome in bed! It will be the only reason you have for staying with him when you are working and doing everything else.
Some men dont realise that if they add to your burden instead of reducing it you will find it easier without them.

Well, I think he sounds like a right good catch. Not. But dropping ds3 at school on my way to work was one of the things that finished me off. Is he dropping them on the way past or does he have to take them in.

I would leave in plenty of time, find a place to park and stand and wait for breakfast club to open and sign him in. By the time I got to work the car park was full, I had to find somewhere to park and then I was late. The lateness wasn't really a problem as work is fairly flexible but it was a stressful start to my day. Dh (WAHP) could have walked him the 5 minutes to school but "felt awkward" dropping him off.

Generally, I think if you are the SAHP you should do the school runs but your problems are bigger than this. I also did most of the cooking/housework etc. I am now a SAHM.