To be terrified as a brand new driver?

[ProvisionallyAnxious]

I've very recently passed my driving test and bought my first car. I'm technically a 'young driver' still but have started driving quite a few years later than most of the people I know. I learnt in two large chunks of lessons, one set when I was 18 but which I ended up stopping due to expense, and one more recently (different instructors). I passed my test with one minor and have always enjoyed driving on my lessons and, when I lived at home, with my parents. I was very pleased to pass as DH and I were really looking forward to being free of the bus timetables and able to travel outside of areas served by convenient public transport! DH can drive but not in this country.

I've had a couple of drives in my new car (to/from work, DH as passenger) and just feel terrified. Thinking about driving makesme feel anxious. When I'm driving I feel really worried about driving too slowly for other drivers but also don't want to go faster as I'm still getting used to the roads and the handling of the car, which is quite different from the one I learned in. The main route between my home and my work is on rural roads, mostly NSL, and very bendy and bumpy - a lot of cars go off the side of this road. Because I feel so worried I find I'm not driving as well as I did on my lessons and my parking has completely gone up the creek!

Basically, I just wanted to ask the lovely people of Mumsnet, AIBU to feel worried and a bit useless in the first few weeks of driving without an instructor? Did it take all of you some time to adjust to the experience of driving 'alone'? How long does it take for driving to start feeling enjoyable again?!

I'd be really grateful to hear your experiences.

Provisionally, I could have written this post. I passed my test in August and have yet to work up the courage to drive the car DP and I bought last year on my own. I am better once I am in the car but don't like the build up of knowing I have to drive somewhere in the hour before getting in the car. Hope you keep up practising and that it becomes easier for you!

Just take your time, its better to piss off other drivers than end up in an accident. I spend a lot of my day driving around as part of my job and there are a LOAD of terrible drivers out there, I always stick to the speed limit and take into account weather conditions, cars limitations etc. If other drivers dont like it then tough, they dont pay your insurance.
It will get better though, you are really just learning to drive NOW. Just practice as much as you can and it will get easier.

I wouldn't bother with P plates... each time you drive, you'll get more experience and confidence. Stick to a speed that is right for the road/conditions and that you feel comfortable with; if that's 50 in a 70 limit, do be it. Driving does get easier with practice; you might have the odd knock to your confidence, but stick with it.

YANBU - I was the same after passing my test at about 30. You're doing absolutely the right thing in trying hard not to worry about other drivers - I recently had a prang (not major and at slow speed, but embarrassing) and realised it was because I constantly feel pressured to drive faster and closer to other cars than I feel comfortable. It's been a valuable lesson and I now firmly stick to what I feel comfortable with.

Plenty of stopping distance, slow in plenty of time for junctions and roundabouts, and as PP said, use Google maps on aerial/street view to work out lanes on unknown routes or tricky junctions.

Confidence will come! :-)

I drove home on my own from my driving test and nearly hit a bus. After that everything was actually easier. Not that I recommend it. But it was nice to know that I could drive without hitting stuff...

My brother was a nervous driver when he first passed so he used to go out late at night and practice on his own till he built up his confidence. He's now a driver for a living.

YANBU. I passed my test in August and I was terrified at first but it does get better. I am in another country and we have a compulsory pass plus type system with a "feedback drive" after 3 months, a day's safety training - emergency stops on simulated wet and icy roads and then after a year another "feedback drive". The first feedback was really useful and gave me confidence that I am improving and the safety training was brilliant. I would suggest doing a pass plus programme.
Also what helped me was starting with short drives and building up. I would pick a regular route which I need to drive and then drive 2 or 3 times with my boyfriend and then on my own. This really gave me confidence and once I stated being able to do these regular routes I moved onto longer more complicated routes which I would also practise with him first. Oh and practising at quiet times of the day first is important.
Then I found I was able to try a new route by myself without needing him to drive with me first.

Other people can be absolute idiots on the roads so to some extent you do need to ignore people being idiotic behind you and keep calm. Drive at the speed you feel safe at. Pull in at appropriate places to let people past. I thought P plates were compulsory in the UK but if they are I would advise against them. We have a similar voluntary scheme here and the driving instructor said not to because it makes you a target for people wanting to wind you up on purpose. Unfortunately some people get kicks out of that sort of thing and it is dangerous.

Honestly, it will get better but do stick at it. Try to drive a little every day until you get used to it even if it is just a 10 minute route which you know well.

Another thing my driving instructor told me was that getting your full licence does not mean you CAN drive, it means you are ALLOWED to drive and you should have an attitude that you are still a learner. Some people pass their tests and think they can do everything and know everything when that is of course not true.

geekymommy

My car is about ten years old - so not the most mod cons but not an old banger with no airbags either! It has 4 stars in the Euro NCAP safety rating.

R.e. 'P' plates, well, I tried them out on my drive home tonight. It was interesting. I noticed several cars seeming to deliberately give me more space and time. On the other hand, as I approached a set of roadworks which had closed my side of the road and was filtering with traffic lights, I started to slow down slightly (as my driving instructor always warned me to be prepared for lights to change if they'd been green for a while!) and the car behind me tried to overtake - right before I needed to pull out to get around the roadworks!

I guess it's a balancing thing. I suspect that most (reasonable) drivers who see 'P' plates give more space, and then a few react to it like a red flag to a bull - but they'd probably be impatient with a slow driver anyway. So on the one hand the 'P' plates result in my feeling less pressured and thus less likely to go faster than I can handle, but on the other hand it results in me having to react to some drivers acting irrationally because of seeing the plates.

R.e. the whole not being too far below the speed limit thing - there was a thread a while back about NSL roads and the consensus on there was that 60, whilst the limit, wasn't even necessarily the safest maximum speed to drive (whereas when you have the red-circle speed limit signs someone has made the judgement that 30, 40, 50 etc are safe speeds to be at on that road), and that depending on the road the safest maximum speed may be much slower. I could be being a young upstart, but I actually don't think that no matter what my experience level 60 or even 50 is a safe speed on some of the roads between my home and my work. I wish they'd properly speed limit all of the rural roads!

Is there an IAM group near you? They will teach the police system, called Roadcraft, which is designed to teach you how to anticipate hazards and plan to avoid them. Their rule is "never go so fast that you can't stop in the distance you can see to be clear". On some roads that's very slow indeed!

Imust

The IAM sounds great - I just looked it up and there is a group in my county. Have you taken the advanced test? Is it better than Pass Plus would you say?

Imust

Can you do the IAM driving test soon after doing the 'first' driving test?

Even if not, I've noticed that they offer shorter modules on motorway driving, night driving etc, which would be really good. I find it very disorienting driving at night right now!|

All that said, I'm already feeling much better since I first posted - calmer whilst driving and getting back the enjoyment aspect. Thanks so much to everyone for their comments / advice.

If you are anxious and worried as a new driver this almost definitely means you have the right stuff to be a good driver. The problem drivers are those newly passed drivers with a misplaced sense of confidence who think they are experts. You only truly learn to be a good driver after many driving hours under your belt

hmc

Thanks for that!