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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To stand DD on a chair next to me when I wash the dishes

84 replies

Helgathehairy · 11/02/2015 18:42

We don't have a dishwasher. DD is 18 months. In the morning when I start washing up she used to start screaming and trying to push me away from the sink and scream some more so I stood her on a chair next to me. She dead happy, babbles away and I've given her a sponge to play with.

DH is horrified and thinks she's going to fall and I'm not going to catch her.

Am I being stupid and she's too young or is he worrying a bit much?

I promise to abide by MN Jury rules.

OP posts:

SabrinaMulhollandJjones1984 · 11/02/2015 22:01

Mine have all done this with me on normal chairs. As young as 18mths? Possibly, I really can't remember. But they all loved it from, say 2+.

Perfectly normal imho, and teaches them balance, edges, their own limits and so on and stops them harassing mum when she's busy

I have fond memories of my (much younger) dsis aged about 2/3yrs carrying a stool around everywhere with her - because it enabled her to reach whatever the adults/older children were doing. She only ended up in a&e once when using it to open a door and someone opened it from the other side, not realising she was there. No lasting damage.

chocoluvva · 11/02/2015 22:03

I did this too OP - your DD probably won't want to when she's a little big bigger though - the novelty will wear off.

Perhaps you could use ecover washing up liquid.

My DD used to enjoy washing the floor with me - she was quite good at it.

DixieNormas · 11/02/2015 22:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

chocoluvva · 11/02/2015 22:04

It goes without saying that you will need to keep knives well out of her reach of course.

Original poster

Helgathehairy · 11/02/2015 22:20

I'm finishing off a bottle of fairy liquid but my next bottle is actually Ecover! Bought it 2 weeks ago before DD started this.

Can't use high chair, she's in a booster on a normal chair and she's too low down, she needs to stand so she can see.

OP posts:

Discopanda · 11/02/2015 22:22

Mine has virtually always stood on chairs to reach things and to 'help' me, you'd be surprised how quick your reactions are when it comes to little ones. Touch wood, she's nearly three and never had an accident.

Original poster

Helgathehairy · 11/02/2015 22:23

She also loads the washing machine for me (liquitab not put in until she's finished),

OP posts:

Buxtonstill · 11/02/2015 22:30

Mother kumquat has probably done extensive research on liquitabs too

hbr1989 · 11/02/2015 22:36

I would not contemplate doing this with my toddler. Not worth the risk of falling in my opinion

Frusso · 11/02/2015 22:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PacificDogwood · 11/02/2015 22:51

Of course it's fine.
And IMO should be positively encouraged - positive parenting on many levels: social, physical and confidence encouraging.

SergeantJarhead · 11/02/2015 23:01

YANBU. My son loves 'keeping me company' when/if I bother to do the dishes, he won't help but he will talk my ear off
If your DC wants to see what it is that you do and enjoys playing with a sponge and some bubbles then crack on.

handandshrimp · 12/02/2015 01:54

I've always felt a bit jumpy about this (dd is 21 months) as we have lightish weight chairs and laminate floor and a bathmat next to the sink (protects the laminate, so chairs can be a bit skiddy. I did this this morning for the first time with her, and it was soooo much easier; she is usually pulling at my legs and screaming when I try and do dishes (so usually just do them in a few stages), but this morning she was happily engaged with playing with a few plastic containers I left in the bowl while I washed the rest.
I'm going to look out for some of those sticky rubber pads (or a step stool) to stop the chair sliding, and I keep my leg behind the leg of the chair nearest the counter too.

Advice: wash all sharp knives and precious crockery first before you pull the chair up

sandfish · 12/02/2015 03:50

I actually think it depends on the child, and whether you think they are confident on the chair and steady, whether they can climb up and down themselves and whether you think they are likely to fall off.

I had climbers and 18 months they were constantly climbing every thing in the house/ world, and were constantly standing on dining chairs. We had our bookcases screwed to the wall. They were fast it was a constant endless fight to stop them climbing things. My nephew in contrast never climbed anything. It came as a big shock to his Mum and Gran when they were looking after my 18 month old and found him marching up and down the dining table!

Given this I wouldn't really bat an eyelid at an 18 month old standing on a dining chair against the sink. That said, perhaps the constant climbing has blunted my instincts a bit on this - we used to go to a mother and baby group with aforementioned 18 month old and he would inevitably find a child sized chair with a seat about 1ft off the ground against a wall to go and stand on, and several times he was instantly picked off by one of the other mums with a horrified look. Have to admit it didn't really register with me as anything to worry about....everyone has a different tolerance of risk which is demonstrated by this thread.

SuperMumTum · 12/02/2015 04:10

My DP also used to panic a bit about me doing this with DD. But she only ever fell off a couple of times and no lasting damage. She loves learning to cook standing next to me and its how I learned to cook next to my mum. DP is just naturally more risk averse than me, particularly when it comes to DD and as a full time working parent rarely has to get these jobs done with her in tow anyway whereas I am not about to listen to her scream throughout which was the only alternative.

byhec · 12/02/2015 04:56

Yanbu, it's lovely she wants to get involved.

Notso · 12/02/2015 07:52

I thought everyone did this. All my four have, I can't recall anyone falling off, just lots of soggy sleeves and a broken dish here and there.

Mine also have all helped me cook at the same age and chop things with a sharp but not pointy knife from around two. I've never had any burns or cut fingers. DS1 did surprise me once by making himself a piece of toast while I was in the shower, he was 2.6. He was fine though, he knew to use the bamboo tongs to take the toast out of the toaster and he didn't try to cut it without me there, he even got himself a plate.

Children need to be able to take risks in a safe environment IMO

KleineDracheKokosnuss · 12/02/2015 07:57

I do this too. No accidents have occurred, if DD starts getting fidgety she has to get down.

pourmeanotherglass · 12/02/2015 08:02

This brings back memories. DD is 12 now, but I remember doing this when she was 2 or so, she liked touching the foam. I gave her one of her plastic cups to "wash". Oddly enough, she stays out of sight when we do the dishes these days.

5madthings · 12/02/2015 08:06

All five of mine have done this as,well as sat on worktop whilst I do stuff in the kitchen.

Madthing5 is just four and regularly still asks to sit on the worktop whilst I prepare dinner etc.

Dp has let them all do it as well.

diddl · 12/02/2015 08:17

It's a thing I did occasionally.

How many breakfast pots do you use?

i only wash up once a day.

I'd be saving it all for husband!

londonrach · 12/02/2015 08:24

Dsis dd used to help washing up age 2. No interest now age 6. She never fell off her chair!

addictedtosugar · 12/02/2015 09:12

DS2 has done this (and cooking) since he was tiny.
The second chair is a fab idea.
We have also done me standing behing him, with my arms either side. he "washes up", and puts on draining board, and gets down. I then rewash everything!

btw, most of those fairy liquid ingredients are found in shampoo and conditioners. Not sure about 1,3-Cyclohexanedimethanamine, but the rest are stuff she will be covered in anyway.

I agree with knifes and delicates out the way before washing up starts.

MissDuke · 12/02/2015 09:31

I think its fine if she seems steady and isn't moving around too much. Could you put sofa cushions by the chair for peace of mind?

musicalendorphins2 · 12/02/2015 09:56

Does she have a little table and chairs? Perhaps give her a bowl of water and a sponge and a few plastics to "wash" sitting in the kitchen at her table and chair, or even on the floor, just set a plastic tablecloth underneath her. :)

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