to feel i missed out grieving for my dad

[tobytomcat88]

My dad died suddenly when I was 6 months pregnant. I have 2 younger brother 20 & 18. at the time of his death I was off ill and my brothers were both at college. He had a gf who I did not get on with who didn't want anything to do with arrangements, funeral or otherwise so it was all left to me.

I had to arrange the funeral sort out the will, finances and declaring his death to what felt like the world all whilst being ill and pregnant.

I feel like I was so busy sorting things I didn't have time to stop and grieve

does that make sense?

That does make sense, sometimes in order to do what we have to do we push our feelings to one side, meaning to visit them when we have more time but then, they have been pushed so far down that we cannot feel anything.
Perhaps Cruse grief counselling would help?
I found myself with some thing similar last year, I had to be strong and stop myself from crying so that I could do what needed to be done. Then, months later, someone I knew only slightly died and I was weeping throughout the funeral.
The grief will come out eventually but you may need some help when it does. Grieving is not a standard practice with a set timescale or appearance.

Yes, it makes sense. Also, if it was a sudden death it can take a long long time for you to actually properly realise they are dead. That was my experience anyway. Take care of yourself.

This absolutely makes sense. Similar situation with my grandad a few years ago. It might well be a situation where you actually need to have a good cry, get out the photo albums and have a really good think about him and all he meant to you and all your memories over the years. Allow yourself to grieve if you can in between caring for your young family. Xx

I know exactly what you mean. Both my grandparents died (one when I was 36wks pg and one when ds was 6wks)

When ds was about 6mo I was reading a book on the train on the way to work and it suddenly hit me.

I sobbed while reading the book every day till the book was finished. And it really helped me.

It was the only quiet time I had and really helped me move forward.

I agree

I understand, I lost my mum last year and I feel like I'm only just starting to really grieve now. I spent so long juggling dc, work and arrangements/mums paperwork I just didn't have time. Take it easy and be kind to yourself. Think of all the lovely memories you have.

My mum went through the same with my granddad, her only sibling lives abroad and only came back for the funeral so she had to sort out everything, contact everyone re bank accounts, death certificate, etc, phone all his old friends, so she really didn't have time to grieve. Because the ashes are buried near my nan's house and DM lives by the coast now, she has a rose plant in his memory which is her way of still feeling close to him.