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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that this is utterly over the top? And a tad hypocritical?! And missing the point?!

60 replies

OneDayMySleepWillCome · 11/02/2015 14:55

My sister is going to be godmother at a friends christening in April.

A run down of the christening is this:
-9am: christening breakfast for family & godparents at hotel where christening party is held. (40ish people)
-10am: hair and make up for female members of christening party
-1.30pm: christening service
-2.30pm: prosecco arrival at hotel
-3.30pm: 2 course meal
-5pm: Magic show and balloon artist for kids
-6pm: kids to be removed from venue
7pm- dance floor opens for adults, DJ et al

Right. Now, I don't mind if this is how these 2 (non church goers-practical atheists-only christening ds so she can get married in a church when she's older) want to spend their money. Fine. It will be a lovely day I'm sure! But Aibu to think this is thoroughly OTT for a christening?! I've certainly never been to one like this before?!

OP posts:
RainingSocks · 11/02/2015 16:45

It'll be interesting to see what they do for a second child (not to mention third or fourth if they have them). I guess that will ceremony and sandwiches at home. Grin

Passmethecrisps · 11/02/2015 16:48

They sound like a blast! I wish I was their friend.

Magic show with slightly tiddly adults will be hilareous

weeblueberry · 11/02/2015 16:48

They had an incredibly elaborate 4 day event for their wedding! Clay pigeon shooting, spa treatments, exclusive use of a castle 170 guests, fireworks....the whole caboodle!! Was amazing!!!! Again funded by their parents and a massive bank loan!

Ha! In that case I'd be saying they love a good shindig and I'd be enjoying it while basking in the fact that THANK GOD I DON'T HAVE TO PAY FOR IT! Grin

Passmethecrisps · 11/02/2015 16:48

Ah! Maybe that is the thing. Maybe this will be an only child so every milestone is going to be a Helloesque affair

elliejjtiny · 11/02/2015 16:59

Sounds very OTT, especially the hair/make up thing. We had a thanksgiving service for DS5 recently. We had ceremony at 2pm, then tea and crisps/cake/nibbles at the church afterwards. Everyone gone home by about 5pm. Can't remember exactly how many guests, but less than 20. We did similar for DS's 2, 3 and 4. DS1's was a bit bigger It was awful, my MIL organised it and invited a load of people I didn't know. DS1 was only 6 weeks old and I had raging PND. I ended up taking DS upstairs to bf him, bursting into tears and refusing to come down

EatShitDerek · 11/02/2015 17:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sooperdooper · 11/02/2015 17:11

I think it's a bit over the top, but I do love a good party so if I was invited I'd enjoy it!

SolidGoldBrass · 11/02/2015 17:20

The only thing that slightly raises my eyebrows is the bit about all kids being removed by 6pm and then a party for the adults. Where are all these kids being removed to and by whom? Unless the hosting family have also hired a lot of nannies and a room for a creche, I think the disco-for-grown-ups part of their event might be a bit under-attended.

expatinscotland · 11/02/2015 17:23

I'd be starving if I went that long without food!

TwoOddSocks · 11/02/2015 17:41

I think it depends; if they just want everyone to have a good time and they don't mind paying for an extravagant party then they should go for it.

If they just want another opportunity to be centre of attention and post loads of pictures on Facebook and insist everyone travels/cancels plans to attend because they paid SO MUCH MONEY then that's way OTT and they're attention whores.

laughingmyarseoff · 11/02/2015 17:48

Does sound very OTT, but I wouldn't say no to a free meal and prossecco if I was going to a Christening.

I'm surprised she couldn't marry in a church without being Christened, I know several people who have been and weren't. Whereas, the people I've known to have Christened their kids have had to attend church a few times in advance first.

sanquhar · 11/02/2015 17:54

totally OTT.

am Hmm about the future marriage stuff. i too was married in church without being christened. the vicar mumbled a bit about that but it was no problem at all. besides im sure there is something written somewhere that anyone living in the parish can marry in the parish church regardless of which religion they follow.

MightyMightyToros · 11/02/2015 18:03

Sounds like they love a good party and have decided to push the boat out. It sounds lovely and I wish I were going.

^ This.

Why does it matter? Genuinely.

They aren't asking you to fund it. Doesn't sound like you have been given a strict dress code or asked for expensive gifts.

So some people want to have a big party? Are people not allowed to have fun?

Why not just go and have a good time without being so judgemental?

TwoOddSocks · 11/02/2015 18:05

PS not that there's anything wrong with posting pics on Facebook but I hate the kind of event that seems to have been designed JUST for the purpose of producing lovely pictures.

WipsGlitter · 11/02/2015 18:08

I agree with pp. just reply "fine" and then don't turn up.

CornChips · 11/02/2015 18:09

tbh it sounds really good fun and I would probably like to go if I did not have to travel too far.

Ds's christening was champagne, church celebration, more champagne then lunch, then a pub night out. I had a great time. Hope everyone else did too! I was pretty stressed about it though as we had some ongoing family dynamics, and had a great time in the end.

CornChips · 11/02/2015 18:13

Oh, and FWIW, DH is Christian, I'm not. I was very reluctant to do it, and was finally persuaded by the argument that it might hep to get DS into a good school into the future. [hypocrite alert].

We go to that church about 6-7 times a year- all the holidays, the nativity etc and have a great time. People welcome us when we do go, and so our level of attendance has gone up incrementally. That's okay isn't it?

fairgame · 11/02/2015 18:17

It is a bit OTT but each to their own!
They might need to look again at their timings.
When i was godparent last year the christening service took 90 minutes (CofE).
They've only got an hour for the service and to get back to the hotel!
120 guests is a lot as well. My best friend invited 60 to her DD's christening service, there was also another baby getting christened who had invited a similar number. The church was not big enough for everyone from both parties!
I like the idea of kids being 'removed from the venue' at 6pm. I have visions of the child catcher from Chitty Bang Bang rounding them up and removing them Grin

RandomFriend · 11/02/2015 18:20

Sounds like a fun day.

partialderivative · 11/02/2015 18:22

OP, I think it must be pretty obvious to anyone who you are talking about, if that person is remotely close to your sister and her friend.

Have you thought that some of them may well be MNers, and that this will very easily get back to your sister and then to her friend?

I am sure she will be charmed by the support and sentiments you are giving her.

Original poster
OneDayMySleepWillCome · 11/02/2015 18:28

floggingmolly godmothers and female members of family!

rainingsocks I hadn't thought about subsequent children!!!

cornchips I think lots of people do it for that reason!! And the church have benefitted if you go more! Everyone's a winner!

passme I know! I'm hoping the magician will require participants!! My DH would love it!!!

weeblueberry exactly what we plan to do!

mightmighty thought I'd made it clear I didn't have a problem with it as such, was just wondering if anyone else had encountered this kind of christening! And as for judgemental.:.is that not what aibu is for?!

OP posts:
Original poster
OneDayMySleepWillCome · 11/02/2015 18:29

partial thanks for the concern. I'm don't think that's an issue, if it were I wouldn't have posted!

OP posts:
squizita · 11/02/2015 18:32

This reminds me of that episode in the Simpsons with Protestant heaven and Catholic heaven. Grin

DD is going to have her christening party in a pub. Which is attached to the church. Grin There will be balloons and money behind the bar.

CornChips · 11/02/2015 18:35

Thanks. :) i felt embarrassed admitting that. To be fair, the vicar told us when we started going more often that he was pleased whenever anyone was brought to the church so he was cool with it.

MightyMightyToros · 11/02/2015 18:37

thought I'd made it clear I didn't have a problem with it as such, was just wondering if anyone else had encountered this kind of christening! And as for judgemental.:.is that not what aibu is for?!

Does it matter if anyone has encountered this kind of Christening?

My nieces was a very small celebration. Service and then home for a garden party, only close family invited. It was lovely and I really enjoyed it.

I'm going to a Christening at the start of March and it's going to be huge, it's a joint one with two sisters and they have family flying in from abroad, it will be an all day event. I'm really looking forward to it.

People generally celebrate in a way that best suits them.

If I knew someone was slagging off my plans I would reconsider our friendship.