Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

If you dp/dh is a club singer...

26 replies

weaselsquirrel · 11/02/2015 13:32

How often does he 'practice'. Asking purely because my husband gigs every fri/sat/sun. He works 5-12 mon-sat but every day he comes home and has to practice. So spends the rest of the afternoon until the children come home singing. He says all club singers do this, I just think he is being a selfish fucker. But it's ruining life. We have 4 children but just the youngest most difficult child at home. I would like a break once in a while. I'm tempted to ask him to leave just so I can have a break from the small one Sad.

OP posts:
Gruntfuttock · 11/02/2015 13:35

I'm sorry, but whenever I see or hear the words "club singer" I think of Vic Reeves "singing in the club style" on Shooting Stars.

Sallyingforth · 11/02/2015 13:36

YANBU.
If he's putting his singing before your needs then he is being selfish.

Original poster
weaselsquirrel · 11/02/2015 13:36

You said this to me before grunt Grin

OP posts:
Gruntfuttock · 11/02/2015 13:38

Sorry. Blush

Oldraver · 11/02/2015 13:38

What does he doe when the children come home ?

DoJo · 11/02/2015 13:40

He shouldn't need to practice that much - good vocal technique and warm-up exercises should be enough to ensure that his voice is up to the job for the weekend gigs. Is he learning new songs? Singing scales? Writing his own arrangements? Where does he practise?

Original poster
weaselsquirrel · 11/02/2015 13:40

That's ok grunt he's an arse you are allowed to take the piss Wink

OP posts:
DoJo · 11/02/2015 13:40

He shouldn't need to practice that much - good vocal technique and warm-up exercises should be enough to ensure that his voice is up to the job for the weekend gigs. Is he learning new songs? Singing scales? Writing his own arrangements? Where does he practise?

DoJo · 11/02/2015 13:40

He shouldn't need to practice that much - good vocal technique and warm-up exercises should be enough to ensure that his voice is up to the job for the weekend gigs. Is he learning new songs? Singing scales? Writing his own arrangements? Where does he practise?

KentishPud · 11/02/2015 13:41

So he's practicing from when he gets home after a shift ending at noon, until Dc get out of school, so what 12:30-3:30. How is that ruining life? What else do you think he should be doing with that time? Or is it that his singing's so bad he does need the practise?

Can't he entertain the youngest and sing at the same time?

Teeb · 11/02/2015 13:42

How many hours a week is he working?

Bramshott · 11/02/2015 13:42

I don't know about most club singers specifically, but most professional musicians have to practise every day for a couple of hours.

Patatas · 11/02/2015 13:43

My sister is a club singer, gigs twice a week. She just sings in the car, no other practice at all.

I can't understand why he would need to practice so much, especially when he has 3 gigs a week. Is it to learn new material? Surely his voice must get tired from that much singing.

YANBU

Original poster
weaselsquirrel · 11/02/2015 13:44

He practises upstairs with all the equipment etc its a nightmare I'm tempted to say the neighbours have complained. It's not necessarily new songs, and when he isn't practising he's singing constantly.

When the children come home not a fucking lot. I run around like crazy sorting out school bags and after school activities he spends about 30mins having a poo, so basically his time consists of singing/sat on the loo.

OP posts:
Babiecakes11 · 11/02/2015 13:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Teeb · 11/02/2015 13:46

Do you want to be in a relationship with him?

morethanpotatoprints · 11/02/2015 13:47

If it was how he earned his living as in didn't have a day job then I would say you were wrong, but he is a hobbyist and putting it before his family.

I say this as a person married to a musician who practices during the day and part of his wage is to practice. It is his profession and whilst sometimes I would like some of this time or the family would, we can't because he is getting paid for it.

Tell him to make it his profession then he can practice all he likes.
However, if he is looking towards becoming pro, and giving up the day job then put a time limit on it and suck it up for this time.

Original poster
weaselsquirrel · 11/02/2015 13:49

Thanks all maybe I'm being a bit selfish. It just wears a bit thin when it feels like its all the time. Really appreciate your views Smile

OP posts:
IsabellaofFrance · 11/02/2015 13:52

I thought exactly the same as Grunt, sorry Blush

Cheered me up anyway OP.

Summerisle1 · 11/02/2015 13:55

Sounds to me as if he's found the ideal way to excuse himself from family life.

If this was his day job - a friend of mine's DH is a professional musician (London-based orchestra) and that's how he earns his living - then practice would be an integral part of how he maintains his income.

As far as your DH is concerned, yes, some practice is necessary. But like everyone else who combines performing with the need to go out to work, he ought to be fitting this around the needs of everyone else at home. Singing in a club at the weekend doesn't give him some sort of licence to sit and serenade the toilet whenever it suits him to step aside from real life.

EatMyFoodFeelMyFork · 11/02/2015 14:02

I am a 'gigging' singer and I only practice when adding new songs, or if I've had a break. Every day does seem a bit self indulgent. As for looking after dc, my dh and I gig together therefore need to practice together so we let ds come into the studio with us. When he was young we popped him in a high chair with various percussion instruments, and now he's bigger, he has his own microphone!

JackShit · 11/02/2015 14:02

As a pro singer myself I'd say he doesn't need that much rehearsal.

However, clubs tend to pay fairly well, so I'm assuming he DOES get paid for those three gigs per week and is therefore bringing in more money for the family? He's doing 42 hours per week, plus working as a singer 3 nights? That's really tough going I can assure you.

If he's the sole breadwinner you may well have to suck it up.

DoJo · 11/02/2015 14:05

Depending on the job, even full-time professionals don't necessarily practice that much, and certainly not in a way that could require him to be unavailable to engage with family life. What equipment does he need to sing? Unless he is recording (which seems unlikely given the amount of time he spends doing it) the he should be able to sing wherever he is, and he certainly should be able to spend some time with his son to give you a break. I don't think you're being selfish - he is choosing to make himself unavailable, I would bet my bottom dollar this is not entirely necessary.

shovetheholly · 11/02/2015 14:06

I appreciate that he's working hard, but I would think he could spare one afternoon to help around the house at least?

Also, as an ex-musician myself, you can't really practice for 4-5 hours straight in an afternoon. You do need breaks, and you can do things to help out in those times, like folding washing or dusting a room.

Theresadogonyourballs · 11/02/2015 14:11

My husband is (former) professional singer. He never sang at home, just when rehearsing in a studio, recording or gigging. His voice was, (still is!), amazing. Your DH really doesn't need to practice that much - particularly if he is gigging three nights a week as that will keep his voice in trim. An hour or so here and there to practise new material should be ample.

Swipe left for the next trending thread