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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think that if all us 'unemployable' mums pool our skills...

100 replies

KissingPotion · 11/02/2015 07:45

We could build a fantastic company and take over the world, or sell ourselves out for billions!!

I decided a while ago to go back into the 'real' world after trying/working at home for 4yrs, (which I love but not making enough money).
Apparently I'm too old for the jobs I could do and want but as I've also had no recent 'proper' job experience,
I'm stuffed!
Volunteer jobs near me are shite.
BahHumbug.

OP posts:

Arsenic · 15/02/2015 21:30

fez

It's just much harder, it seems, to go back to PAYE, than to go from PAYE to SE in the first place. There will be no choice other than to stick with SE until a reasonable FT PAYE possibility turns up.

Christmasbargainshopper · 16/02/2015 07:08

IDismyname · 16/02/2015 07:35

Oh I'm in. Definitely.
SAHM for 15 years, design degree, 12 years working prior to DC.
Now just Volunteering in the local shop once a week. Hardly the high life!

bigbluestars · 16/02/2015 07:41

SAHM for 17 years now, but also happen to earn £1800 a month with no use of my degree or skills. Just a love of jumble sales and an internet connection.

MrsPeabody · 16/02/2015 07:45

MrsPeabody · 16/02/2015 07:49

Despite having a post graduate degree, good work experience and positions of responsibility previously, I have just applied for voluntary work to boost my cv. Dh doesn't understand why I can't walk back into a job at £30,000 plus after a career break to have children. :(

MrsPeabody · 16/02/2015 07:50

Bigbluestars, is there a particular type of item you sell? E.g. Toys. Have you set up as self employed?

bigbluestars · 16/02/2015 07:55

Yes I have been self employed for l3 years. I sell second hand stuff on Amazon and ebay, mostly books ( 5000 a year). I buy them for 30p and my average selling price is £8.50. I also write copy - that accounts for 20% of my income.
Yesterday I sold a number of books, including one I bought on Thursday for 50p- it sold on Amazon for £170. So feeling happy about that.

Original poster

KissingPotion · 16/02/2015 08:12

Yes, to what Arsenic said and
Morning, hello & welcome to the rest of you.
You've been doing well Bigblue,
I dabble in the selling eBay stuff but not nearly as impressive as you

OP posts:

SummerSazz · 16/02/2015 08:53

Can I just say something that will probably be seen as controversial, but many SAHP's are there facilitating their dh's careers 'I can only get a school hours job due to dh's career working all hours'. This doesn't help create an even playing field in the office environment - single people and those with a SAHP can work stupid hours and this means 2xFT working parents is almost impossible as it is 2xFT + expected extra hours.
I'm not sure what the answer is tbh but 1 parent doing silly hours and fully facilitated by a partner at home unfortunately exacerbates the competitive environment AND makes it much harder for that SAhP to eventually get back into the workplace.
I have maintained my career through going PT (always working more hours than contracted) but I am struggling to compete with my single/facilitated peers as I simply don't have the 'face time'.

SummerSazz · 16/02/2015 08:54

I love the MILE campaign though

Original poster

KissingPotion · 16/02/2015 09:21

This is quite true Summer.
At this point in time, I don't have any dependant children anymore, however I have found things very difficult.
I think there are several issues regarding getting back into work for many parents, but I think mainly from needing P/t work + reasonably priced/free childcare
to retraining/refreshing apprenticeship things for those of us who have been out of the working environment completely and not had the chance to be able to continue working during being a sahp.

OP posts:

MoustacheofRonSwanson · 16/02/2015 09:27

Well, employing only women with dependents worked for Steve Shirley whilst it was legal. There is a lot in giving people who are unfairly overlooked a decent shot.

IdaBlankenship · 16/02/2015 09:28

I also think employers need to be less scared of employing someone 'over-qualified' for the job. I have had this so many times, but I don't understand the logic. I am applying for a job that I am happy to do, surely if it something I can do easily then it's a win-win situation. I am not after their job & I am realistic about myself within the job market.

Unless they are just being polite with their feedback after all.... hmmm...

I hear what you are saying Summersazz but if their job involves travel then it is very difficult. The Netherlands has a better system where more people (men & women) work part-time, so there is way more flexible work on offer. Of course, that is only made possible by the large amount of rent controlled accommodation on offer.

notsogoldenoldie · 16/02/2015 11:04

I agree with summer's point too. The playing field is no longer even. Jobs that allow working from 9-3 are like hen's teeth and highly sought after, ime. I've often wondered why TA jobs seem to be both highly-prized and badly paid-the reason must surely be that they are sought after by women with kids?

I think something we overlook too is the extent to which working patterns have changed over the years. In my mother's day, few women worked, and those who did worked part-time. My mother got a string of admin jobs which she constantly moaned about but which would be regarded as gold dust now: she didn't have to compete fir these jobs, even though she'd taken time out.

It was possible to live quite easily on one wage, however poor. And overtime was paid. My librarian father thought it unthinkable that I was required to work overtime for nothing, effectively, in my junior management position. So we seem to have reached a point where many people work silly hours just to stand still. Some of these are highly-paid, but many are not. The growth of the zero-hours culture is testament to thus: many people-and women in oarticular- are scrabbling for this sort of poorly -paid work with few or no employment rights because they have little choice in the matter. This us a sad indictment of a civilised Western hemisphere country.

So we seem to have been pushed into a race to the bottom.

fancyanotherfez · 16/02/2015 11:32

I agree. We seem to be living in a culture of 'presenteeism' where the longer you are prepared to stay in the office the better you are seen, and the more likely you are to be promoted. This can be the case even if you have done bugger all during your working day. I live in London and have friends who work in banks. The stories I heard about people surfing the internet until 4 pm and them working until 7 was outrageous. And yes, many times it was single people and people who were enabled to do that by having someone else at home doing the kids stuff. One of the reasons I went self employed was because I felt guilty leaving at my allocated time to pick children up while others were still there. There is still a sneering attitude in the workplace about people who don't stay behind, as if they are not committed enough, even if they are much more efficient.

MrsPeabody · 16/02/2015 11:57

Very impressed Bigbluestars.

I think a large part of my problem is me. I always do and will prioritise the kids over work. Dh on the other hand thrives on being successful in the workplace and continues to go from strength to strength. His pay is far more than I could achieve so it makes sense to continue to facilitate this to enable our standard of living. Shallow but true.

bigbluestars · 16/02/2015 12:03

I also prioritise my kids over work, and I enjoy providing them with a nice place to live. My kids are not with me 24/7 though- there is plenty time to work when they are at school.

MrsPeabody · 16/02/2015 12:06

Ah, I didn't mean that the way it sounded. More that dh will never cut his hours/compromise on this area so putting the kids in nursery is on me. Jobs that could be available to me are full time (plus more). I just want that elusive part time job

bigbluestars · 16/02/2015 12:13

My OH is the same- a very demanding job with very long hours.

Nursery was not an option for me- I wanted to care for our children at home. Luckily I was able to start earning money at home when my youngest was 10 months old.

fancyanotherfez · 16/02/2015 12:19

The problem is that it is easier to go part time from full time, and you are more likely to be able to do that if you went back to work after maternity leave. You are also more likely to be on a high enough hourly rate to be able to do less hours for more money. For example, I work 3 days a week at £30 per hour on a freelance basis, admittedly. I have highly educated friends looking for data entry part time jobs for £8-10 per hour. They have to do 3x what I do to earn the same. I realise that anecdote isnt massively helpful, but maybe you need to be looking at taking a hit and working full time for a couple of years, then negotiating part time if you are just going back into the workplace after a long break?

MrsPeabody · 16/02/2015 13:42

Fancy, your post is spot on.

I need to get my thinking cap on.

DisgraceToTheYChromosome · 16/02/2015 14:25

HGV licence. If you can read and are strong enough to pick up a 3 year old with one arm, you're qualified. Unemployment isn't possible.

notsogoldenoldie · 16/02/2015 14:31

fancy that's spot on. I never understood why parents didn't just give up work for a few years then go back. It must have been so difficult to juggle, but now I understand why. And once you're off that greasy pole, it's hard to get back on, and the longer you're off it, the more difficult it is to get back on it.

I'm beginning to wonder if I'll ever work again in any meaningful way.....

Original poster

KissingPotion · 16/02/2015 16:51

It is easier for some to go from F/t to P/t, I wish it was as easy to go from home back to P/t, I'd even consider job share as I'm not particularly restricted on time but I've looked and cannot find anything.
Id love to try HGV, lol, my dad did that in the 70's, I'm a good driver, I have a dodgy shoulder unfortunately.

OP posts:

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