To think they need to give me rather more notice than this

[SEmyarse]

My brother rang last night. He lives 200 miles from me. He's visiting my area next week and wants to come and see us on Tuesday with his fiancee.

I had to say that's not really doable at all. It's half term next week and I'm working daft hours Monday to Thursday to cover for other parents who are off. This is so they will cover me to have the week off in May half term. I have booked the 2 girls into sports and play schemes for these days. Dh is working minimal hours in his own job, but will probably have to come and help me out also (self employed) due to having taken on too much.

Db is annoyed that we won't drop everything to see him. I've pointed out that it is impossible to get my work covered as well as all the rest I've agreed to do. He's asked me to cancel the girls' playscheme so that he can take them out for the day, which is very kind of him but I've already paid, so annoying to lose the money (although very cheap, run by council) and it happens to be the day that they're really excited about (climbing, orienteering and assault courses).

I still said I'd consider it since he rarely sees them, but they'd have to have them fairly early before I have to go to work. Apparently this is no good, and he'll pick them up shortly before lunch. This would mean both myself and DH (if both needed) will have to take one child each (drive vans, so only one seat each) and liaise to pick up from unknown locations.

If they'd said to me about a month ago I could possibly have cleared Tuesday for them instead of Friday off, but he seems to think because it's half term we should be able to drop everything. He's also very grumpy that ds will be abroad.

He's also managed to make me feel like a crap parent for not spending any time with my kids but they have an inset day this Friday so we will be spending both Fridays together.

YANBU. I assume he's either got no kids or doesn't do arrangements for them. It's a military operation getting kids sorted when working, he is being unreasonable to expect you to drop everything for his plans.

YANBU. All this could have been sorted with more notice. Have similar situation with siblings. Try not to let it get into a bun fight, though. Say something like fab to see him but need to compromise. Good luck

Obviously YANBU. He has no kids I assume and has no idea of the juggling that goes on when you also work. If it doesn't work for you it doesn't work. Can you maybe suggest going out for evening meal, kids could stay up later as it is half term.
Personally I wouldn't change any plans as he still may get a better offer and dump you voice of bitter experience with a much younger sister

YANBU he is being a knobber and if either of my DSis's behaved like this that's what I'd say to them.

YANBU. Up until the lunchtime rendezvous I thought it might be workable for your brother to have kids but once I read that part I thought 'no way on Earth'

Can he join you all for dinner?

YANBU at all. My Bil who doesn't have children of his own used to regularly pull this stunt with us and then berate us for (the rare) occassion we didn't drop everythig to accommodate him...apparently it was our fault he barely sees the children, we are stopping him from developing a relationship with the children, yadda, yadda, yadda.

It came to a head when he let the children down on 4 visits last year after verbally promising direct to them he'd be coming to see them-he didn't take to kindly to being told not to promise the children visits if he has no intentions of actually doing them and never to leave my kids say here for an hour and a half AFTER the time he was supposed to be here before having the courtesy to answer the phone and tell us he isn't coming (and in fact was still sat at home pissed ignoring phonecalls from his brother). The thing that did it was when he tried to blame ME for him letting them down....oh how I let rip! Asked him why his time was more important than ours, asked why he is allowed a life yet we are only allowed one if we drop it all when e clicks his fingers, told him that it was common courtesy to arrange mutual convinient times to visit and not get stroppy when people had stuff on....

Surprisingly he's managed 2 visits in 6 months since then which is more than he managed before.....but of course that's our fault

I don't think a week's notice is that unreasonable but he can't expect you to put yourselves out. Could you meet for an evening meal or later in the week instead?