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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

9 year old son hair clip

60 replies

operaha · 11/02/2015 07:29

I'm either way by the way.
9 year old son discovered kirby grip to control fringe. He's growing his hair long. Looks gorgeous. Wants to wear it to school.
15 yo ds and my dp say no way.
Wwyd? It doesn't bother me in the slightest , but I've worked in classes of that age kids.....

OP posts:
NeedABumChange · 11/02/2015 10:53

They're not for girls, they're for people with long hair.

BarbarianMum · 11/02/2015 11:00

He may be bullied for almost anything but its unlikely that a sustained campaign of abuse (which is what bullying is) is going to be triggered by a hair grip. More likely that he'll be gently teased and take it out.

A more fundemental question is what sort of message do you want to send your son. Should he constantly curb his behaviour to avoid standing out in any way in case it draws negative comment? Is this what you'd tell your dd to do if she wanted to play sport/excel at science/have an opinion (or otherwise challenge societiy's perception of what women should be)? Why not ask her if she thinks this is a good way for a) her or b) her brother to live.

Original poster
operaha · 11/02/2015 11:05

I've been thinking about him all day, I'm really excited hoping he had the nerve to keep it in!

OP posts:
GeneralElection · 11/02/2015 11:11

Was about to type similar to barbarian mum!

Either you will be teaching him that he should conform to norms else he will be teased/ bullied,
or that he can make his own choices, be an individual and accept, yes he might be on the receiving end of comments or teasing, but that that can be dealt with, if / when it arises.

If he wants to wear it, why not let him? Warn him he might get comments, but reassure him he can & should wear it if he wants.

JudgeRinderSays · 11/02/2015 12:19

like a lamb to the slaughter!

WizardOfToss · 11/02/2015 22:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsTawdry · 11/02/2015 23:15

Things are changing for boys and girls. In many ways. In DDs school I was on nail painting duty at the fair and one boy was all it took. They were queuing up and there seemed to be some "male pride" in ignoring the stereotypes....a "Well I like it so there!" attitude. THese were "big boys" of 10 and 11 too.

MrsTawdry · 11/02/2015 23:23

Seems to be a growing trend....french singer Julien Dore with hair clips and actor Aiden Turner

MrsTawdry · 11/02/2015 23:28

Seems to be a growing trend....french singer Julien Dore with hair clips and actor Aiden Turner

MrsTawdry · 11/02/2015 23:28

Seems to be a growing trend....french singer Julien Dore with hair clips and actor Aiden Turner

MrsTawdry · 11/02/2015 23:28

Seems to be a growing trend....french singer Julien Dore with hair clips and actor Aiden Turner

MrsTawdry · 11/02/2015 23:28

Seems to be a growing trend....french singer Julien Dore with hair clips and actor Aiden Turner

Shockers · 12/02/2015 07:25

Do you think it might be a growing trend MrsTawdry? Grin

gymboywalton · 12/02/2015 07:32

if he needs a grip to keep his hair out of his face then he needs a haircut[old fashioned]

i hate it when little girls constantly have their hair hanging in their faces too-it distracts them from their learning becasuse they spend half the time fiddling with it. a nice fringe is what's needed.

EbwyIsUpTheDuff · 12/02/2015 10:10

so did he keep it in?

diddl · 12/02/2015 10:17

"a nice fringe is what's needed."Hmm

Why?

I bloody loathe fringes.

Nothing wrong with clipping/gripping/hairbanding hair out of the way until long enough to tie back!

SuburbanRhonda · 12/02/2015 10:21

Of course he sohuld were it and decide for himself whether he wants to continue.

But I think it's worth remembering that David Beckham can wear anything and get away with it, because he is David Beckham. Not because everyone thinks it's ok for men to wear hairbands.

Original poster
operaha · 12/02/2015 10:46

He didn't yesterday because it fell out and his brother couldn't (wouldn't?) put it back in right. I put it in this morning (hes obsessed) and he says he's wearing it so we shall see!

I'm not forcing him to get a hair cut! He gets it trimmed but he's growing his hair long! That's his decision.

Goes to his dad's for half term (dp not his dad obvs) and I'm dreading him coming back with a shaved head. Dp only said no in his opinion, but he wears pretty scarves, skinny jeans and jewellery himself so he just meant he didn't want little one getting picked on. Ex h however wouldn't let ds have a buggy to play with or the pink teddy he adored when he was little.
So ds is going to 'suffer' gel for the week and he can have his clip back when he comes home.

OP posts:
EbwyIsUpTheDuff · 12/02/2015 10:49

I hope yur ex doesn't start on about his hair!

I'm biased, neither of my boys has ever had a haircut and we all like it that way! (except their step-grandparents, and their view doesn't count)

Their father (my ex) and my current fiance both have long hair too so it's normal to my boys

drbonnieblossman · 12/02/2015 10:58

If he wants to wear it, he should. A good lesson to teach children is not to be a sheep. Very important lesson actually. A pity some people raise their children to make fun of independently minded children. The issue is theirs, not your son's.

Jbck · 12/02/2015 12:22

MrsT is it a growing trend Grin
I wondered how he got on OP?

kittentwo · 12/02/2015 13:01

I never comment on my kids appeared centre I feel it's the one area they should have complete control over.

ghostspirit · 12/02/2015 13:05

really pees me of that people are still so narrow minded about boys having long hair. my son does not use clips. just a hair band when he gos swimming. but people i know and the odd teacher at school. omg cut his hair you need to cut his hair bla bla. pisses me of that they cant see beond shaved-spikey hair ffs. then i feel like i dont have a good enough answer even though i dont have to have an answer!!!!

anyway op i would says its up to your son

Aherdofmims · 12/02/2015 13:12

I was thinking of footballer look too. I think the time has past when this was something to be teased about.

EbwyIsUpTheDuff · 12/02/2015 13:40

ghostspirit I'm told that if you say "In my beliefs, cutting his hair off would be a sign of deep grief" they tend to leave you alone.

(my eldest is only 4, and his reception teacher LOVES his hair so it hasn't come up yet... a few arsey parents have taught their children to call him a girl but teacher will squash that flat if she hears it)