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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DW showing off about a celebrity ex

51 replies

GrandpaInMyMicrowave · 11/02/2015 05:25

AIBU to feel a bit miffed about DW boasting to a friend about a celebrity ex? I'm not supposed to know about him but tbh DW hasn't been too discrete.
I understand DW has been with other people so that's not the issue, it's more of an issue that she has let it be known to me that she still has a celebrity crush on this ex.
It feels a bit like showing off at my expense but then I understand why I wouldn't be the first person she'd have these conversations with. I think I feel a bit sensitive about the reality of our lives, raising children and her sudden need to hark back to more interesting times. If I'm honest this is the bigger problem.

OP posts:
Heels99 · 11/02/2015 10:33

Is it Peter Andre?

skylark2 · 11/02/2015 10:33

"She doesn't know that I know he is an ex."

So say "your friend told me today you used to go out with BigName Celeb. I never knew that! What shall we have for dinner?"

You're not in primary school any more. You don't need to play the "not supposed to know" game.

DH's first serious crush was on a mutual friend who is now DD's godmother. Nobody cares.

Heels99 · 11/02/2015 10:40

Skylark has a point, call her bluff but do not make a drama over it, she is using it for attention seeking purposes so I wouldn't engage with that. Be 'meh' about it nor pretend not to know who he is. Or drop into conversation 'as I said to Kate Middleton/Rihanna/judi dench' when we were dating.....

Bifauxnen · 11/02/2015 11:24

Tbh that sounds a lot more childish than what skylark suggested. Why play games?

TheyLearnedFromBrian · 11/02/2015 13:26

FWIW, if it makes you feel better, it's a terribly naff thing to show off about!

Friend of a friend type person used to do this... until someone worked out that (not very big name at all) musician would have been about 30 and her about 16 when they were together. She kind of shut up about it after that...

All that kind of boasting does is scream 'I don't have anything that's about ME that I think is interesting, my best 'things' are about how I relate to other people'.

JoffreyBaratheon · 11/02/2015 15:14

I think it's just a self esteem thing, as others have said.

My ex was an actor and once in a TV soap (about 10 years before I knew him) and I only ever find myself mentioning it online. Even my youngest kids didn't know their dad was in that soap they happen to watch, until one of them had to pretend to be a character in something similar, in drama. In other words: they were at high school before I even mentioned it. He was a prat and I left him when the older child was one and the younger child a pregnancy. I never talk about it with anyone IRL, only online. My self worth isn't located in what I was 15 years ago. But for many people, it maybe is, and understandably so.

All that said, we all have a bit of 'the grass is greener', and sometimes daydream even if very happy now what it might have been like if we'd stayed with an ex, don't we? I have two exes I often wonder about. He isn't one of them. I feel he was my 'lucky escape' and for all you know, that's how your wife feels too? Even if he is a 'grass is greener' ex, he sounds firmly in the past.

My actor ex had a famous ex of his own. He was always harping on about her. She sounded like a dick, I thought at the time but now I just think she is probably, like me, congratulating herself on her lucky escape, too.

I'd forget it. It's no more important than if he worked at Tescos.

GokTwo · 11/02/2015 15:29

Joffrey is right. Yes, it's a bit exciting for a few months but in the end if they are not right for you it doesn't matter what they do.

MidniteScribbler · 11/02/2015 15:35

I have an ex who is a well known performer, but when I was with him he was just him, and not the 'name'. It was a great relationship, and one I look back on with great fondness. I think I was lucky that when I was with him that the media were far less intrusive than they are today. We had relatively little press attention considering the way the media are today. Back then, we were outraged when they took a photo of us having lunch together. But now, it is a whole new level.

KellyElly · 11/02/2015 15:36

Depends who it is. If he's some Alist Hollywood movie star, then she's probably just boasting a bit. Most people would. If it's a Zlister or a serial shagger like Russell Brand, then she's being unreasonable Grin.

TRexingInAsda · 11/02/2015 15:59

DW is the kind of woman who goes off someone if they are a complete arse

Er, that's every woman isn't it?! I don't know anyone who likes a complete arse.

Anyway, just talk to her. So what if you're not 'supposed' to know? Well you do know, so just tell you feel insecure (or disrespected or however you feel), and tell her what you'd like her to do about it (not mention him as much, caveat with 'but I wouldn't do him now', or whatever).

championnibbler · 11/02/2015 16:47

Dude - who is it? This is what we want to know.

LumpySpacedPrincess · 11/02/2015 17:29

Yanbu, unless it was Benedict Cumberbatch in which case just suck it up. Grin

OnlyLovers · 11/02/2015 17:31

I just want to know who ALL the celebrity exes are on here!

Mrsstarlord · 11/02/2015 17:37

I want to know who all your celebrity exes are! Tell me, tell me, tell me Grin

I once got offered to throw the keys in by a bloke from fields of the nephlim. Had no idea what it meZnt at the time so just, sort of blinked at him.

Now tell me yours!!!

Bananayellow · 11/02/2015 17:37

So do I.
Pm's please Grin

theconstantvacuumer · 11/02/2015 17:37

I can't read any more of this thread unless people start naming names!

Mrsstarlord · 11/02/2015 17:44

The bloke from field of the nephlim once asked my ex if we could throw the keys in. I didn't know what it meant so just sort of blinked at him.

Now I've told you mine, tell me who yours were

Mrsstarlord · 11/02/2015 17:57

Sorry, weird phone thingy!!

dougierose · 11/02/2015 18:14

I accidentally got snogged by Neil Buchanan from Art Attack in 1997. Does that count?

dougierose · 11/02/2015 18:16

The daughter of one of my mum's friends went out with Bob Mortimer for about 3 years, but he was too famous and she couldn't handle it. So she married someone else and now sends her kids to the same school as JK Rowling. Some people have all the celeb luck.

Tinkerball · 11/02/2015 18:21

Dougie of course! Grin

Duckdeamon · 11/02/2015 18:26

No dougie, definitely not! Grin

So many MNetters having had relations with slebs: if you won't tell us who, could we at least have a genre, status as A, B, Z list and their nationality?

Mrsstarlord · 11/02/2015 19:15

Dougie - that does count! (although not sure how you accidentally snog someone). Are we detracting from the topic? Do we need a new thread for the most tenuous claims to sleb relationships?

abouttobeevicted · 11/02/2015 19:34

why does it matter if its an ex?
I have shagged 2 famous musicians. its before my DH. its a time in my life when I was having fun! in the video as the girl in one. my dh doesn't really like me playing the song but it reminds me of carefree days when I was 20

but my dh lost his virginity and dated for 4 years to a now celeb and all her upbringing in celeb land is not true. would he sell his story no because its in the past.
if it is the past forget it please!

CrapBag · 11/02/2015 20:57

I also need to know who these celebrity ex's are! Grin

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