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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not want to be on reality tv?

63 replies

Moltenpink · 10/02/2015 23:13

My work are being filmed for a behind the scenes documentary about the staff. I'm amazed that nearly everyone has agreed to take part, and I'm being treated as unreasonable for dodging the cameras. (If you watch a show soon, and see a montage of a heavily pregnant woman stropping away out of shot, that's me Blush)

Series two filming is starting soon... Am I really BU not to take part? Would you all want to be on the show?

OP posts:
MidniteScribbler · 10/02/2015 23:38

I've been on tv numerous times (being interviewed) but I would say no to this as well. There's a massive difference between being interviewed for something and allowing yourself to be filmed all day which could be edited in god knows which way to show what they want to say.

Original poster
Moltenpink · 10/02/2015 23:41

tiredbutfine that's exactly the kind of thing I'm worried about. They can edit any way they want.

OP posts:
ProcessYellowC · 10/02/2015 23:43

YANBU! And that is awful that you've had to miss meetings for it - surely the crew should miss meetings rather than you?!

HelenaDove · 10/02/2015 23:46

With all the reality tv/fly on the wall docs that get filmed in workplaces these days i wouldnt be surprised if sometime in the next 10/20 years it starts to get written into peoples contracts that they may have to take part if its "for the good of the business"

ShadowSpiral · 10/02/2015 23:48

YANBU.

A reality TV show being filmed at my workplace would be one of my worst work related nightmares. There is no way I would consent to this.

As pp point out, they can portray you just about any way they want with the use of clever editing, and you can't count on them wanting to portray you favourably.

Summerisle1 · 10/02/2015 23:49

I'd absolutely hate to be on a reality TV show and luckily, had left a job only weeks before it was announced that our service was going to be featured in one.

My dsd's partner has the sort of job connected to the sort of emergency service that the producers of this sort of cack programme love to feature and indeed, a TV crew descended about 3 months ago. He was absolutely adamant that he would not be filmed and got enormous enjoyment from turning up at an incident and hearing the director and crew grumble loudly as they caught sight of him and realised they'd have to stop filming or accept that they'd have to edit his face out of all the footage. "Fucking great!" the director was overheard as saying "the awkward fucker is on the case. That's this morning wasted".

TiredButFine · 10/02/2015 23:53

I was lucky in that I knew I was leaving that job/industry, but yes it could have affected my reputation in a small way.
Actually I didn't want certain people to know where I was (the subject made it really clear where we were based) and I did kick up a fuss before filming that this was a problem if "certain people were able to locate me due to me being on the programme" and left that hanging as a kind of threat/fear, but that did not work!
Maybe speak to HR and also the film producer if possible?

HelenaDove · 10/02/2015 23:56

Summerisle what a shitty attitude the director and crew had.

Many years ago i worked in a sex chatline office. We had a production company ring up and ask to film us. I was the one who took the call and i still remember the name of the production company.

WHAAAT was the general reaction after id put down the phone (i had also asked for their number and rung them back to check it wasnt a hoax or a sex callers idea of a joke.

My parents and some of the other womens partners didnt know what our job was so no way we wanted to be filmed.

Luckily the boss vetoed it.

HelenaDove · 10/02/2015 23:58

Tired one of the girls working in the chatline office had a really controlling boyfriend who didnt know she was working there.

TiredButFine · 11/02/2015 00:05

Exactly.
I had moved from my home area and am NC with my Dad, nothing awful just don't get on and don't see why he should get to know where I live and see me at work.
I've also worked in tv briefly and agree with Summerisle1 the people are awful and really often care little about the people they are filming IMO they just want to make "good tv"

wigglylines · 11/02/2015 00:07

Well done for not letting yourself be pressured into it.

Hopefully the production company won't edit it in ways the staff don't like. but if they do, it'll soon become obvious who was the wise one!

nnnamechangeddd · 11/02/2015 00:07

Yanbu I'd hate that

HelenaDove · 11/02/2015 00:11

Tired i think the whole reality tv thing is shallow. Its also a way of making tv that is cheap and has spawned exactly the type of attitude you describe. Ratings are all these types of shows care about. Im in my early 40s and miss the way tv used to be.

Italiangreyhound · 11/02/2015 00:11

YANBU

Summerisle1 · 11/02/2015 00:14

What genuinely shocked my dsd's partner was that the TV crew picked his service to film because it is such a sensitive area yet when it came to it, they didn't give a toss about the feelings of the people who are doing this very difficult job. None of us think it needs filming, to be honest, (there's huge potential to cause distress) and we're very surprised that the powers that be agreed to let a camera crew in.

So YANBU, OP and neither is anyone else who'd prefer to be left to do their job away from the prying and often consequential eyes of a camera.

SabrinaMulhollandJjones1984 · 11/02/2015 00:19

Yanbu - I'd never do this, it'd be my worst nightmare ever.

TiredButFine · 11/02/2015 00:19

I'd love a proper work-based documentary. One where you tune in and nothing really happens that day. Everyone's fine and just gets on with a bit of paperwork.

JoffreyBaratheon · 11/02/2015 00:20

Years ago I took my autistic kid to a routine hospital appointment (occupational therapy I think it was) and when we went in, the woman asked me if I'd mind it if a TV researcher sat in. I asked why, what was she doing? She said they were making a TV programme (reality I think not documentary) about a children's hospital. It was at the time that awful Jimmy's was on TV. I asked her didn't she think there were already enough voyeuristic reality programmes on TV? (I seem to remember it was foing to be a series). This was Bham Children's Hospital. I dunno if they ever made it. The researcher looked shocked that I thought we'd seen enough of that crap already. And that was YEARS ago as the said son is now 21.

Original poster
Moltenpink · 11/02/2015 00:25

everyone's fine and just gets on with a bit of paperwork Grin

I liked the old days of big brother, where they all got on and sat around chatting.

OP posts:
TiredButFine · 11/02/2015 00:53

I think gogglebox is good (puts on fireproof vest) becquse the people seem to like being on it and they are treated respectfully by the film makers, also they know what they signed up for and seem to be the "right" kind of personalities to deal with/ignore the "fame".
OP no way would I want to be at work, busy, preggers and then have to deal with a bunch of devil may care asshats trying to "find a story" honestly some times I avoid speaking to colleagues if I'm not in the mood and I like those people!

RandomNPC · 11/02/2015 01:37

Are you in Torquay?

PlummyBrummy · 11/02/2015 04:31

Stay strong OP and don't get involved. My experience with a film crew goes down as one of the worst I've ever had - 6 months of torture I couldn't escape because of my contract. They talk about being sensitive and appropriate but it's a total smoke screen to get the juicy bits on screen. They really couldn't care less and are positively looking for ways to cause upset so that they can film that too.

ohtheholidays · 11/02/2015 09:03

No I don't blame you I'd hate it.

I've been asked to go on the TV quite a few times now and I've always said no.Made the big mistake of telling my Mum bless her and she just could not get her head round why I didn't want to go on there.

With me being the one person in our family that avoids having my picture taking as much as possible,yes mother of course that makes perfect sense that I'd want a massive camera pointed in my face Confused

OnceUponATimeAgain · 11/02/2015 09:09

i dont even like my photo being taken (because i look awful) last thing i would want to be is on TV

NancyRaygun · 11/02/2015 09:29

Say no - and I would even seek legal advice to make sure your face is blurred etc. Not in an aggro way - after all, its up to the individual if they would like to take part - but even being in the background can be edited to make a point using you. (ex TV editor)