Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be upset about the lack of replies for ds bd party

19 replies

lostinegypt · 10/02/2015 20:49

We have just moved to a new area and don't know anyone in the area as yet. Ds started nursery part time in January. His birthday is next week (during half term) we booked a party at a soft play. The minimum no of children required is 6. His two cousins are coming which means I need at least 3 more children to come. We invited 8 children from his nusery and sent invitations yesterday (maybe this was too late?) I asked for parents to let me know by Wednesday if their child could come as I have to let the soft play know if more kids are coming. So far i have only had 1 reply :( im now worried nobody else will come and we wont have the min no of kids required for the party. ds is so excited about it and thinks all his friends are coming. aibu to think i should have more replies even if its a no thanks?

OP posts:
ILovePud · 10/02/2015 20:52

You only sent them yesterday, I wouldn't expect replies yet, I'm sure more children will come.

Bumpandkind · 10/02/2015 20:55

Please don't worry and even more so if the replies don't flood in, please don't take it to heart. Things like this have a way of working themselves out.

FightOrFlight · 10/02/2015 20:56

It was pretty late to send invitations, lots of people have stuff already arranged for half-term.

I'd speak to the Mums/Dads on Wednesday at pick up time and ask if they are able to attend. At least that way you'll know one way or the other.

If there aren't enough then you can rethink what you want to do, e.g a normal soft play session for the children and then home for a birthday tea.

MiloCat · 10/02/2015 20:56

People can be a little slack about replying but it was only yesterday that you gave them out.

If you don't get the minimum number, just take the children to soft play, buy them all food, take a cake and ds will never know the difference :).

lem73 · 10/02/2015 20:58

Did you send them out yesterday and ask for a reply by tomorrow? That's a bit short notice. However I'm sure you'll get at least a couple more yeses. If you don't get the minimum number of kids just pay for 6 anyway. If you've just started at the nursery he won't have really close friends and will be excited to even see one friend.

TheChickenSituation · 10/02/2015 21:01

People don't usually RSVP straight away. We didn't even bother with parties until the DC started school.

Don't worry too much - holiday time does make it trickier and you can always ask the venue if you can pay for the minimum number, in order to make sure the party goes ahead.

YolandiFuckinVisser · 10/02/2015 21:14

I know what you mean! My dd is having her first ever birthday party in 2 weeks. She's 8 but her bday is just after xmas & difficult to arrange with all the stuff going on around then. We have a party arranged with a max of 12 guests, 11 acceptances and one invitee who insists she's coming but no word from the parents. Do we invite someone else or hold out in case she just turns up anyway?

In my experience of holding parties for my ds in the past there's always a couple that arrive at the party without having replied to the invite!

lem73 · 10/02/2015 21:14

My 2 dss share the same birthday and when they were 6 and 3, I asked friends from my ds1's school and 4 from ds2's nursery. Only one person replied for ds2 and I felt really upset for him. But on the day he was so excited to see someone turn up just for him. Now he's 12 and every birthday we have a fight over the length of the guest list! Honestly he'll have fun regardless.

Yika · 10/02/2015 21:18

They do say that when children are little the number of the age + 1 is a good number for a party - so, if he's 3, 4 will be just right! (I'm sure you'll get a couple more responses tomorrow though).

Original poster
lostinegypt · 10/02/2015 21:22

I know I sent them out too late but decided last minute to invite children from his nursery. Originally we were just going to have a tea party with his cousins but ds wanted to invite friends from nursery. I know ds will have fun with his cousins and the 1 child who replied. Just hoping some more reply! I never knew a 4 year olds party would be so complicated! If ds recieved an invitation I would reply straight away but maybe thats just me!

OP posts:
WillBeatFebruaryBlues · 10/02/2015 21:25

you need to chase up or see them personally at nursery.

for invites you need weeks and lots of chasing sadly.

ILovePud · 10/02/2015 21:26

IME the people who reply straight away are definitely in the minority. I bet you will get the minimum you need for soft play but either way I'm sure your DS will have a lovely time.

OddFodd · 10/02/2015 21:29

Pay for 6 whatever happens You've got 4 coming already. Your DS will be delighted and I bet you'll get several more confirming before the day.

MissDuke · 10/02/2015 21:33

I know you say you would reply right away, and I am sure you believe that. But I wonder will you still feel that way in the future - when juggling school runs, homeworks, clubs, work, housework, etc for two or more children! Unfortunately most people have busy lives and just don't get round to these things as soon as they would like! I am sure it is nothing personal, try and not panic. I doubt I have ever replied to an invite the same day, unless it was put in my hand by the mother and I knew instantly we were free. Often attending a party requires a lot of juggling with the other kids etc.

Littlefish · 10/02/2015 21:37

The children in my nursery all attend on different days, so it can take a week for parents to pick up invitations.

MaryBerrysLostCherry · 10/02/2015 21:39

If your in NI I'll bring a 3 and 5 yo!

MyIronLung · 10/02/2015 21:40

This is why I'm not doing a party for my ds (he'll be 4 also) this year. I've decided that until he's old enough to ask for a party with his friends then we'll do something else.
We'll go for a day out to somewhere that he'll enjoy on his birthday (luckily it falls on a weekend this year) and have a party tea with family and possibly a friend from pre school. This is probably the last year that I'll be able to opt out of the party drama so I'm going to make the most of it!

I read so many threads about kids being let down on their birthdays that I just dread it Sad

SorchaN · 10/02/2015 21:41

I don't think you should worry too much. I reckon people usually need two weeks' notice of a party, and if they have a bit less it might take them longer to reply because they have to rearrange their plans for that day. But most people will want their kids to be able to attend a party, and will reply as soon as they get a chance. I've never had any difficulty finding the minimum number of children to attend a party (over 15 years and three children). Give it another few days.

Flomple · 10/02/2015 22:00

Absolutely you are being unreasonable to expect answers after 1 day! I think only giving them 48 hours to reply is way too little. Especially at nursery, most people will be juggling 2 working parents and will not religiously check bags and respond to all paperwork every single evening. I appreciate it's late notice but you should still give them at least 50% of the remaining time before the party. You gave them 48 hours, are getting jumpy after 24, but expecting them to give you 7 days ish?

I generally do no child admin on my working days.

I think there's a good chance that some others will come, but give them more time!

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread