To feel angry & unforgiving to (ex) friend

[PeasinPod1]

Ive been friends with a girl who I met on an evening course a few years back and we got colder while both pregnant/had our babies at similar times. She’s moved away so invited me, DS & DH down for the weekend. All was kind of going well, few minor incidents like promised outing to a pub we’d always wanted to visit, and had booked a babysitter for there, didn’t end up happening as she didn’t want to leave her DD in end (1 year old) as had barely left her ever, so despite being fun weekend was hoping, was rather quiet on that front.
Anyway, we all go up to bed and our DS- also 1 year was very unsettled, waking up constantly, bit of a temperature and had been niggly all day. Was starting to panic, as also had a had- (not meningitis like) but was on legs/feet and could tell he was really unhappy and in pain. We’d given him Nurofen at this stage, stupidly I know, had forgotten the calpol as he was fine when we left home but became ill when we got there.
So I appeal to friend, baby screaming in background, if we could please borrow her calpol to sooth him.
No brainer I think… but she considers for a second then replies “ummm really sorry but it’s in her (DDs) room, and really don’t want to wake her…sorry!!”

I shut down, replied blankly “ok” and left it at that. DS is then up all night long, we couldn’t give him more nurofen for hours and in turn we barely slept a wink. So mid-way through night at like 3/4am, I shake DH awake ( he typically managed to get to sleep through the chaos and was snoring away) to say: pack car, pack up baby, we are leaving! I needed to urgently get home to get him calpol/possibly to hospital (was something far more minor than we’d feared in end) and also if I’m honest- did not want to see her face again the next morning, as I was still in disbelieve and fuming at her selfishness. For me- screaming baby in pain V sleeping baby possibly waking up= no brainer.

She made a very lame effort to contact me a few times afterwards, I’ve seen her out at a few friends engaagments drinks etc since but was quite frosty and that’s that. Obviously not the friend I thought but would like your thoughts.

YANBU.

Hindsight is great - you wouldn't be saying you were overreacting if it had been something more serious, and you'd needed to get him to hospital - it would be a case of thank God you took action and left when you did... Take a chance with a sick child with a rash? No. I'd have left too.

Her: I'd completely ignore. I honestly wouldn't want to be in contact with someone who could refuse to help while my baby was ill and I was panicking, and they had medicine available and refused. I just couldn't get over that: I would not be able to see her as anything other than a pretty bad person. Or simply very weird.

Moltenpink sadly not, had seen her with it in her perfect little baby bag earlier that day.

Thankyou all, such a big relief to feel I'm not alone in my feelings. I still feel angry every time I think of her. I know I need to let it go but unfortunately we share friends and some friends with kids/who we hang out in a group with (occasionally). They have no idea this went on, at all.

So when with them its forced politeness even though I try to just not interact with her at all, and she just acts as nothing ever happened and makes random attempts at conversation (but we have never mentioned that weekend since...). I've probably even been too (forcedly) pleasant when I do see her as inside I'm churning/burning up and so apprehensive at seeing her/angry still so all that comes out is this forced but strained niceness. Next time I will probably just really try to fully avoid her.

I do sometimes wonder if she even remembers, as we had had some wine before bed.
But she was hardly near being drunk, so I think surely she does recall it, just probably doesn’t think too much of it (her DH was also at her side as she said this, so they must have surely discussed it?) .

OP was not unreasonable at all, of course she left in the night when her ill child was suffering and was not getting any better and she thought he might need to go to hospital. An emergency can happen anytime, even in the middle of the night. There was noway I could let a child suffer, so what If I woke up dd to get some medicine for an ill child.

Infants can go down rapidy, so op has to put her baby first, and not fear of being rude to friend who clearly could not care less. I bet if the boot was on the other foot, she would not have stood for it.

Your "friend" is a complete and utter weirdo.

Not never ceases to amaze me how utterly fucking odd people can be.

I wouldn't bother rebuilding any sort of bridge with that charming piece of work.

Glad your baby is okay and it wasn't anything serious in the end.

YANBU and I would have left too I wouldn't want anything to do with someone who was that selfish. It didn't sound like you were going to get any sleep so why bother staying?

You just don't treat a friend like that. Her door was shut, meant don't desturb me. I would not care less about offending anybody who was as rude as her, and who is happy to leave a sick child in pain. Shit host she is.

Did you leave a note or call/text the next day?

YANBU, I would have left straight away though without provision of painkillers for my DC! She sounds a bit nasty. Better off without, trust me.

I would have been really angry in your position. What an absolute ridiculous response from her. You and your family were guests in her home and your baby was poorly for Christs sake! Incredibly selfish on her part.

Gosh, I can't believe she wouldn't just tiptoe in and get the calpol for you! Your baby was suffering - of course she should have tried to help. I don't think it's overreacting to leave in the middle of the night - you were concerned about your baby. Did she even text you to ask if he was ok?

Poor you understand if you are part of a group you are reminded every time you see her...could you confide in 1 of other girls?