Was I asking too much?

[Edenviolet]

Dd2 has diabetes, she has a 1:1 at school but her 1:1 is trained in how to use her insulin pump, cgm and to do other things regarding other medical conditions.

Dsis asked a while ago to start learning how to do other aspects of dds diabetes care (injections if pump failed, emergency injection for hypos etc) so I have taught her a few things which she was happy to learn at the time.

I have an appt coming up soon at a hospital approx 1 hour away and asked dsis if she would please be the emergency contact for that day in the unlikely event dd has a severe hypo or her pump stops delivering. She said 'no'
I asked why and she said she had an appt. I explained that all I needed her to do was have her phone on just in case as even at her appt at the gp a short way from school she would still be nearer than I would be. She got really angry with me and said I am irresponsible for having an appt that far away. I said fine, its ok forget I asked.
After an hour or so I started getting texts saying"you are forcing me to cancel my appt and sit around all day" I explained that she would not have had to change her plans at all, just to have her phone on. The texts continued "fine, I've cancelled it, you've got your way now I'm at your disposal" etc etc etc.

I do not understand what I've done. Dsis asked to learn all this???

Are you in the UK? Here the school nurse would be involved in training school staff. Parents shouldn't expect to be on call for school in these circumstances.

Afraid i agree that yabu. You did ask too much because you know your sister is unreliable and even according to your post you asked three times when she clearly said no and that she had other plans that day. There's nothing confusing here except why you'd ask her at all. Think the plan to go alone is much more sound. Hope it goes well.

Ask a trusted friend. I would be willing to learn this for a friend so I assume some of your friends would be as well.

And could you also take a friend for your appointment?

Currently school are not insured or trained to administer the hypo emergency injection. 1:1 trained in all aspects of diabetes and insulin pump but not insulin injections if pump failed as it was deemed pointless as they would become de skilled as would not be doing injections except in an emergency so I am just always nearby.

Tell your sister that as she's now cancelled her appointments and is free, she can take you to the hospital and your DH can stay near the school.

But on a serious note, get patient transport for yourself and have dh stay near the school.
In the long term, find someone reliable that could step in if there was an emergency.

I think you should call your sister's bluff on this occasion

"Oh great, thank you - I'll let the school know, such a relief that you will step in and be the emergency contact for that day"

It will probably get right up her nose...

Would you feel trusting of her to act as appropriate in an emergency anyway? I don't think there is any harm in having dd1 trained but she can't take on the responsibility of carer.

Surely the school should have someone trained? If you can train your sister, surely you could train someone from school. Seriously ask. The school has a responsibility to ensure children with medical conditions are supported. Ask to see your school's Policy for supporting pupils with Medical Conditions. It should comply with this:
www.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/349435/Statutory_guidance_on_supporting_pupils_at_school_with_medical_conditions.pdf

Why did your sis ask to learn how to administer medications etc to your DD? Has she been heavily involved in her day-to-day care - eg doing afterschool until you can pick her up. At any rate, justly or not, sounds like she is resentful and feels imposed upon so I wouldn't be asking her anymore or even letting her know.

Agree pixie. There must be a protocol and named person for medical issues , what about epipens and asthma inhalers? Surely the default should be to call 999 even if you were in the vicinity.

I asked the school why epi pens etc are ok but not dds injections they said epi pens etc are a pre measured dose with an enclosed needle system not like dds where it has to be mixed up/drawn up (glucagon) and administered or dose dialled up (insulin pen). They have asked for training but its taking a while so I will hurry things up.

Dsis was never asked to learn, she offered so its very confusing why she wanted to but didn't really iyswim

It's not confusing at all really why she wanted to be trained. It's to give the illusion to all and sundry that she's there for you and your family. I BET everyone in her circle know of her selfless act of being fully trained up and capable of stepping in to save a life.

Never for one minute does she actually intend on following through as that would require actual effort on her part. Not confusing at all.

Hedgehog, can I be really blunt?

Send your sister an email/letter/text or phone her. tell her she can just fuck right off. You have had enough if her pettiness and no longer wish any contact.

Then, having divested yourself of a miserable millstone, have a fresh look around you and find some real support.

I hope you get this day sorted, but also that you stop trying to include your sister in your life when she so very obviously has no intention of being useful or nice!

I have had similar issues with this regarding 2 children in my brownie unit who has a pump. 1 knew how to do it all by herself at 7 butthe other was still in need of an adult to do it at 9. the school were lucky in so much that the 121 for each girl was also a guider so we were able to help arrange the training thru contacts with St John Ambulance.

the laws around medicine administration are really awful where kids especially are concerned. without official training then the 121 puts themselves in danger of being prosecuted as a drug dealer essentially (administering without a licence I think ta the official charge) and it drives me crackers. even as a fully qualified first aider at work I cannot assist an asthmatic to take their inhaler and cannot even hand it to them. under the law I have to place it within their reach and allow them to pick it up and administer it. as a chronic asthmatic myself who suffers silent attacks that paralyse my lungs I physically cannot do it myself sometimes but someone doing it for me is at risk of a huge fine and possible jail term.

the risks involved in administering the incorrect dose of insulin are huge as they are potentially fatal in too high or too low a dose so I genuinely can't blame the school for not wanting to do it without the appropriate training to be honest.