To want to write and send this letter?

[violetbean]

Background: my dad had to come with me and my toddler to a doctor's appointment today as I have broken my foot and am on crutches so can't carry the toddler.

Dear friendly GP who saw my toddler today,

I am writing to apologise for my father's behaviour during our appointment. When he asked your name and you answered, he probably wasn't expecting a name he had difficulty pronouncing, and when he asked you to spell it out twice and scoffed a bit, I felt he might have upset you. I don't think he meant to be rude but I was totally mortified.

He does have quite bad hearing but I think what happened could have been interpreted as racist behaviour and I wanted to let you know that I don't condone this at all and I hope you will accept my sincere apology on his behalf.

I was very impressed with your calm and polite manner during the appointment and your thoroughness in checking over my poorly son. Thanks so much, I really appreciate the work you do.

Yours, etc...

He's ridiculously rude. Why did he and toddler have to go with you?

Ah, I see, appointment was for your DS.

Yes, send the letter.

I hope you told your dad what a prat he made of himself too.

I think it would be nice to send the letter.
I hope you gave your dad what for afterwards!

I was so fricking embarrassed, all I said was 'it's a nice name' and then thanked her profusely for her help. Gah! Is the letter really OK?

Send it. It will almost certainly be appreciated.

Send it!

YABVR! I think you should send it. It's very well worded and I'm sure the GP will really appreciate it even though he/she is probably used to such reactions.
Hope your DS gets better soon.

He's so dismissive, I said when we got in the car 'you were mean about the doctor's name!' and he said 'I just couldn't understand if it started with a v or a b' and that was that. He was doing me a massive favour and the toddler was about to fall asleep so I couldn't really start a row at that point.

Thanks for the get well wishes Dragonfly!

Is think they'd appreciate a letter. If anything they'll realise you don't condone it and remove you from their shit list! seriously though - even it it just went over gp shoulder they'd appreciate knowing you are grateful for that.

What do YOU think? Was your Dad struggling to understand the name or was he scoffing at a foreign doctor?

I'd send it. Doctors appreciate letters like that. It's a nice letter.

It doesn't sound like you are apologising on his behalf though,

Sorry, phone stopped letting me type! Out sounds like you are apologising because you felt it was wrong - not because he did. Which is great - bit you shouldn't make it sounds like he is apologising. Just drop the last three words and it's fine.

MaidofStars, I don't know. My mum is usually the one to make unthinking Daily Mail comments, not usually my dad. The doctor I think is British rather than foreign (going by accent), but of non-white background. He maybe just stumbled over the name, but I did feel like it could have been interpreted very badly and had the feeling the doctor might have seen it as a bit racist, as I did. I'd like to think well of my dad but it didn't look good.

Smoorikins how can I make it sound more sincere? Suggestions very welcome.

Appreciate all your comments.

Oooh cross post, good idea.

I work in a surgery and that letter would go down very well. We had a similar incident recently but no apology, sadly.

I also think it already sounds sincere, because you are. Don't overthink it :-)

Yes, send a letter.

Maybe not exactly that letter. But one that has apologies for your father appearing rude AND explains he has a hearing impairment AND thanks her for her work on your sons behalf.

Yes send the letter. I would really appreciate something like that, just showing your support which she may not have picked up on at the time.

Great, it's ready to post tomorrow.