DH's family

[DisappointedOne]

Last year we sent xmas presents to two of DH's brother's children. (We live around 300 miles from DH's family.) None were sent to DD, nor did we receive a thank you from one of the families. Exceptionally rude, but whatever, zero effort being made in future for them.

My SIL has posted on FB asking for suggestions of somewhere to go as a family for a weekend. I feel like replying "here, since you haven't been for over 2 years and it would be nice for DD to see some of her cousins here for once".

Mind you, I don't really want them to come and visit. But they make me so grrrrrrrrrrrr.

AIBU?

YANBU but be thankful they live 300 miles away. It would be more annoying if they lived a lot nearer and never made any effort.

You're right. DD's still waiting for a birthday present from another set of aunt, uncle and cousins too. Her birthday was 4 months ago. Luckily she doesn't care.

Ah, families! Don't get me started.......

Annoying indeed but I would take the hint and stop trying if I were you. Your DD won't notice.

Do you go to visit them? We visit DH's family (similar distance) two or three times a year and his parents come here once or twice, but his sister is visiting soon for the first time in 10years and bil has never and probably will never come. Which suits me fine. They're nice enough people but I don't esp want them to visit. In your scenario, if I was her it wouldn't cross my mind to spend my spare time visiting you. Sorry, but leisure time is tight with kids isn't it and in-laws are hardly a big draw for most people, as aibu attests!

(There are cousins involved too btw and again we see them when we go there but they don't visit us. Again they're nice enough kids but it'd be no one's idea of a nice relaxing holiday to have them stay here.)

Yes. Traditionally we visit every 2 months or so. None of them bothers coming here. (We had to travel there a few weeks after a traumatic birth because they wouldn't come here unless they could all stay with us (all 8 of them - tight bastards).

Now that they've shown their true colours I won't be making that effort. DD being at school will help. ;). DH can go on his own if he wants.

(When we go there we end up in a hotel because there's no room at any of their houses.)

Crikey - a 600m round trip & hotel stay every 2 months is quite an expense! Don't take it so personally and enjoy your newfound time & money!

Why do you bother to visit them so often? Seems a huge effort to make a 600 mile round trip? .

I live much closer to my siblings but am happy to meet up just once or twice a year if that.

Blimey I would have taken the hint long ago OP, not carried on visiting them.

Take the hint and don't bother. Spend your time with people you like and who like you too.

I get major grief from DH if we don't. He wasn't a DD to "know her cousins" but cant see that it's all one sided. A typical weekend costs in the region of £350.

Well, no more.

*wants

They may find it easier to accommodate just him & DD and it would be a nice bonding thing for the two of them to go alone. Again, don't take it personally if everyone has a better time without you - non-family guests can feel like an intimidating amount of work. Enjoy your free time!

I wouldn't go to visit them anymore. My bil and sil rarely get gifts for my dsd and on the odd occasion they have it is never anything she would like, although she does appear grateful, I always make an effort for their kids and get presents I know they like. I am just glad that their kids are now adults and I can stop the present buying for them. On the other hand, my family who are obviously not biologically related to dsd always make the effort to get nice stuff for her. Families eh?