to ask my kids to help out

[ghostspirit]

im 28 weeks pregnant. and single just me and the kids. they are 17,12,7,4 my house is a shit tip and i want everything to be sorted out so the house feels nice to live in. i got a new washing machine that i had to move and plumb in myself was bloody hard work. i have a gally kitchen. everytime i need to get a large item in i have to take the fridge out first. the bigger im getting the harder i find it. if i ask the older kids to help me move the fridge there is loads of moaning huffing and puffing because they cant be arsed.

i got a dishwasher the other day and had to do it myself again. i don't mind as such that's life. but my water can not be turned of so i have to get the inlet pipe on to the dishwasher at the same time its pissing with water. ask my 12 year old to turn tapes on up stairs so the water pressure drops a bit on the pipe... oh no we have to have a big discussion and grumbling because i asked him to turn a tap on ffs.

i built a wardrobe for the kids room i put the poxy drawer runners on the wrong way. so now i have to lay on the floor with my head in the bottom of the wardrobe.

i get breathless hurts my stomach and back get braxton hicks....

i sort of don't mind doing it because it needs to be done and i want the house to feel nice for me and the kids. but im thinking ffs just help with out all the yeah but thats not fair shit.

They should keep their rooms tidy and put things away after them but they are just children and not adults.

Your eldest already does quite a bit re childcare etc from previous posts and is missing out on some of her teen years as you keep extending the family with no other adults involved.

sometimes i cant be arsed with all the huffing and puffing so i do it myself then end up in pain.

OP while I think every parent inc myself is probably guilty of choosing the easy route at least once, this needs to stop ASAP.

I understand that things are probably pretty tough with almost 5 of them and being on your own, but letting them away with this now is setting them up for failure later in life.

You wouldn't let them get away with slacking in school because you didn't want the huff puffs, so why let it happen in other aspects of life?

Imo too many people focus on giving their children a good education and neglect other aspects of what makes a responsible young adult.

So many of my friends are in rakes of debt in their early 20s because parents didn't teach them basic money managing skills. They wanted something, parents provided. Similarly, they needed a dress ironed for a night out and all they had to do was text their mothers. The washing fairies removed the dirty clothes in their room and put it back clean and neatly folded. They struggle to prepare any thing other than micro meals and spend enormous amounts eating out because they don't have the skills to put together even a basic spag bol. And these are intelligent 20 somethings!!

thank you everyone :) we got loads done this afternoon. and it was not to bad. 17 year old came in and got stuck right in. done all the living room pulled sofas out swepted and mopped. she took the table apart and put that in garage. put the new curtains up. and put all stuff where it should be. without moaning at all.

the 7 year old tried it he moaned a bit. i gave him a job to do and he done it kept saying what can i do next... so that's good. i asked him to clean bathroom he moaned. i did not say anything. left it for 5 mins then he moaned again about what can he do. so i told him im not asking you im telling you. and he went and done it. he's done quite a bit really.

the 12 year old done all of the kitchen. i did have to make him do more as it was a bit slap dash. then he helped me to do my room then me and the boys finished of the kids room and finished the last bits of putting wardrobe together.

oh and i told the 12 year old to put a ball on his belly and try and lean forward low to the ground and try and screw as screw into the bottom drawer. and he kept saying it hurt he cant do it. he was sort of laughing because its odd to do. but he said it hurt so i think it gave him a little idea that it hurts me and the restrictions it gives.

the 4 year old was the runner.. ie can you take this upstairs can you put that away can you help me with this. can you load the tumble dryer.

Great

My 4yo is my runner too haha! We make a game of going into one room and doing a 10 minute BLAST where we each take turns of choosing an item to put away, the first one who gets to it gets to put that item away and choose an item for the looser to put away. Then the race is on again. She loves it, and it takes the chore out of tidying the room for me too!

yeah its not been to bad. still got stuff to do but getting there. hopefully i can keep it positive.

"sometimes im not sure if it is right to ask them to help me move wardrobes/fridges/washing machines/dishewashers..."

Why on earth would it not be right for all the people living in a house to do the jobs which need doing?

You shouldn't need to ask them. "The washing machine is here. We all need to put it in the kitchen now."

yeah i was just not sure because of the size/weight of the items. but then what needs to be done needs to.