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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think I shouldn't have to put up with this for life?

26 replies

ApignamedJasper · 07/02/2015 21:30

To cut a long story short I have had a problem with an over active bladder since childhood, basically my whole life. It seems to be a combination of stress & urge problems (mostly urge) and it really really gets me down. It's humiliating and at my lowest point I actually had a full on accident in public :(

I've had investigations on and off since I was a young child and got continually fobbed off with 'pelvic floor exercises' but they either don't seem to work or I'm doing them wrong because they don't help. I went back to the GP and was given some medication to relax my bladder which helps. Unfortunately they make me so drowsy I find it hard to function, I've just started riding a motorbike and I'm too scared to take them in case I fall asleep and with all the thick layers and winter bike gear I'm wearing at the moment it's very difficult to get out of it in time to 'go' and I've had several near misses!

What do I do now? I can't take the meds and PF exercises don't work. Is there anything else I can do? I can't bear to deal with this any longer, totally fed up but don't know if I have any more options. Aibu to be fed up with being fobbed off by doctors and thinking I shouldn't have to deal with this for the rest of my life?!

OP posts:

RandomMess · 07/02/2015 21:33

Are you seeing a consultant at the moment or not?

Surely that is the first point of call - being referred to the specialist?

TwoOddSocks · 07/02/2015 21:36

I'm with RandomMess the GP is good for problems that have a standard response (i.e. pelvic floor exercises and the medication) if that doesn't work and it's seriously affecting your life insist on a referral.

engeika · 07/02/2015 21:40

Isn't there a brilliant MNer who is an expert in this field. I have read soem of her posts before. She runs seminars on this sort of thing. I'll do a quick search.
Meanwhile - I feel very sorry for you OP - this must be so, so hard.

maleenteringfemalefacilities · 07/02/2015 21:42

Gussiegrips is her name I think.

BlandandInsipid · 07/02/2015 21:44

Has your GP discussed Botox as an option with you?

whothehellknows · 07/02/2015 21:51

Do you use tena ladies in case of accidents or when you're in your motorbike gear and may have trouble getting out in time?

I'm not going to lie, I've had more than one accident in public. If I have a cold and sneeze loads, laugh too much, or jump up and down I'm pretty much going to pee myself. I do dry with the kegels, but since my urethra tore during DD1's birth I figure it's going to be a fact of life.

Original poster

ApignamedJasper · 07/02/2015 21:52

So far the GPs I have seen have been very dismissive (of pretty much everything I've seen them about but that's another issue) and just reiterated the previous advice or given me more of the medication. Not ever mentioned being referred, I will definitely press for this next time I go though!

I did have a scan to check my bladder (few years ago now) but not one ever got back to me with the results :(

Just so sick of this stupid problem, sick of being scared to drink anything (water especially) in case I can't get to the loo in time. Feel like an old lady and I'm only early 30's.

OP posts:

Elisheva · 07/02/2015 21:52

Have you been to a specialist physio who can teach you to do pelvic floor exercises properly? It really makes a difference. Don't give up, ask to be referred on, there is more that can be done.

funkybuddah · 07/02/2015 21:53

My sister was similar and she had an operation which was a sort of sling to hold the bladder up, so much better since she had it done. She had to really persist until a doctor took her seriously as she was fobbed off with 'pelvic floor, you've have kids etc'

I would keep on at the docs. Good luck

flumpysocks · 07/02/2015 21:54

Which medication is it? I take daily meds (toviaz) for urge incontinence and they've had no side effects since day 1. There are alternatives, maybe ask the GP again?

AntiHop · 07/02/2015 21:55

Definitely keep pushing for a referral to a specialist doctor and a physiotherapist.

RandomMess · 07/02/2015 22:03

Looks like you are going to have to get pushy and insist on a referral. I am so sorry they've not taken the issue more seriously.

Notcontent · 07/02/2015 22:04

You should have seen a specialist years ago. This is mad. The fact that you've had this since childhood clearly shows that it's nothing to do with age, having children or weak pelvic muscles. This kind of thing makes me so cranky. This is what is wrong with the NHS - it's great if you have a heart attack in the street, but really rubbish at helping people with things which are not about to kill them.

Insist on seeing a specialist ASAP. Could you possibly pay to see someone privately?

engeika · 07/02/2015 22:04

That's right - Gussiegrips - thank you. She is very good. Do a search for some of her posts, Then go for more specialist help.

Helix1244 · 07/02/2015 22:09

Have you had lids? I think maybe the sling may prevent natural childbirth or maybe it would relax again so they would wait till youve had all your kids.
You can get devices to see if youre doing pelvic floor correctly.
Are you overweight? As i imagine that puts more weight/pressure on bladder.
Maybe NICE have guidelines about treatment.

Eeek · 07/02/2015 22:12

I had the sling operation a few years ago after peeing myself in the local corner shop. Mortifying! I did the specialist physio first and got lots of useful advice including gadgets that check you're doing the pelvic floor exercises properly (pelvic floor educator by Neem if you're googling). It wasn't enough and eventually I went in for the tvt - best hour's work ever! My control gets slightly worse before my period but otherwise I don't have to think about it at all. The consultant I had was Joan Pitkin of you're anywhere near London. HTH

ButterflyUpSoHigh · 07/02/2015 22:26

My friend had botox last year, it has changed her life. I hope you get the right treatment for you.

FightOrFlight · 07/02/2015 22:30

Agree re: asking for a referral to consultant or continence clinic.

Do you avoid food as well as drink that can irritate the bladder?

MrsCrankypants · 07/02/2015 22:32

Have you tried different medications or just one type, I use lyrinel XL which is slow release and don't have any side effects. If you've only tried one it might be worth trying different ones.
Really interested to see if anyone has better advice on this, I've had it for nearly 20 years and had urology investigations but was just prescribed the medication which doesn't solve it 100%.

Original poster

ApignamedJasper · 08/02/2015 09:24

I have had kids, one natural & one c section and honestly don't think I'll be having anymore so would be quite happy to have a sling.

Stupid question but where do they put the Botox?

Only tried one type of medication so far as that's all I've been offered, it helps but doesn't solve it completely and if I exercise and drink a lot of water then it doesn't help much. For some reason plain water seems the worst out of everything, just goes right through me!

Fight, what sort of food & drink irritate the bladder? Another stupid question, sorry, I've just never been told :(

OP posts:

allypally999 · 08/02/2015 11:23

I have a similiar problem (life-long) but have had a battery of tests (in my 30s and again in my 50s). They can't work out what is wrong with me so I am stuck but I do find when I am slimmer its better. Just a thought?

Cold weather makes things difficult so try and go every hour to be on the safe side. I never pass a toilet!

ManAliveThisThingsFantastic · 08/02/2015 11:23

I have suffered similarly since I was 17. The amount of times I have full on wet myself is unreal . I will be watching this thread carefully.

Caffeine seems to affect me the worst. A few minutes after a cup of coffee and I'm dashing to the loo.

DrinaDancesInParis · 08/02/2015 12:08

Poor you OP

Caffeine, alcohol and acidic foods/drink will irritate the bladder. Useful link here (though that's more about keeping your urine alkaline to avoid infection, but still, might help.)

The COB Foundation is a good place to start for help and info- they have a good forum.

Do you think you might have a persistent infection causing these symptoms? If so I can't recommend this stuff highly enough.

Good luck.

TMInamechangedprotectinnocent · 08/02/2015 12:13

When I had a similar issue it transpired my pelvic floor was exemplary - they got a student in to experience the majesty of it (!) - but I wasn't drinking enough liquid so my urine was very strong and irritated my bladder, causing the occasional accidents. Drink more water, see if it helps.

TMInamechangedprotectinnocent · 08/02/2015 12:14

Sorry, hadn't seen you've tried water.

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