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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To have refused to give my 2.11yo pudding

13 replies

dinoswore · 07/02/2015 19:52

When she refused to eat even a little bit of her main course?

I feel so terrible that she sat and cried while older DC ate pudding. But I can't let her get away with just eating pudding for dinner ... can I?

I gave her a banana later by the way - couldn't let her go to bed hungry.

Honestly, I constantly feel like I'm getting this whole food thing wrong. My 6yo would pick the best bits from her plate and ignore everything else if I let her, then will be asking for a snack 20mins later. So I 'make' her eat a reasonable amount of everything (usually with bribe of pudding) but really stress out that I'm giving them both food issues.

Help!

OP posts:

EasyToEatTiger · 07/02/2015 19:56

They will eat when they're hungry. My dcs eat a huge amount of sweets at the moment. Yuck. They're 10 & 8. Nutella rules. Yuck. Have you had food issues yourself? I have. It was awful. But it was ultimately nothing to do with food.

ApocalypseThen · 07/02/2015 19:57

Do they always have something after dinner? Every day?

skylark2 · 07/02/2015 19:57

Does she like what you gave her as main course?

If so, YANBU. If she's hungry now, give her plain bread and butter.

"My 6yo would pick the best bits from her plate and ignore everything else if I let her, then will be asking for a snack 20mins later."

No is a perfectly good answer. It's not up to you to try to prevent this ever happening - she needs to learn that it happens if she doesn't eat her dinner. Let her experience being hungry because she didn't eat!

fishfingerSarnies · 07/02/2015 19:58

I'd have done the same, don't drive yourself mad.

ThisFenceIsComfy · 07/02/2015 19:59

No you are not being cruel. Just offer her dinner and if she doesn't eat it, take it away and say "oh well you must not be hungry" but of course no pudding then!

I try to avoid getting into any discussion about dinner. I just put it down then ignore any whining.

TooHasty · 07/02/2015 20:01

You are wrong to use dessert as a treat for eating main course.Just put each course in front of her and she either eats it or she doesn't.

TooHasty · 07/02/2015 20:02

..but nothing later

WestEast · 07/02/2015 20:02

Rule is in our house that if you don't eat your tea you don't get pudding. Unless it's something which is genuinely not liked. Pudding is generally a yoghurt.

QuintlessShadows · 07/02/2015 20:04

The problem is to have pudding daily. Why is pudding necessary?

We only have pudding on a Saturday. Otherwise if the kids have eaten their dinner yet fancy something sweet, they get a fruit.

They will eat because they dont expect a sweet.

Artandco · 07/02/2015 20:06

I would just ditch puddings. Most people don't have them daily. Then fruit later if anyone's still hungry.

RaisingMen · 07/02/2015 20:07

^^ we class fruit or yoghurt as a pudding, my DS usually has a fruit salad.

YANBU, not eating dinner = nothing after.

QTPie · 07/02/2015 20:20

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

whathaveiforgottentoday · 07/02/2015 20:31

I wouldn't use pudding as a reward for eating main course as just reinforces the liking for pudding.
We tend to only have puddings at the weekend. If our dd's don't want dinner they can always have yogurt and fruit instead which they do opt for occasionally. It gives them to a good get out if they really don't like something. I prefer dinner to be relatively stress free.
Obviously if they point blank refuse dinner (or fruit) well clearly they aren't hungry so wouldn't want pudding anyway (or at least that's how we phrase it!)

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