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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that just because someone knocks on my door I don't have to answer it?

37 replies

MrsTawdry · 07/02/2015 18:51

Same with the phone. If I'm busy then I don't answer my door. I know everyone who calls....people generally don't call unannounced on me. Not my family and not my friends.

Oh...but my neighbour regularly does it and it's rarely for ANYTHING other than her toddler has run off as she's coming home from somewhere and banged on my door as she wants to play with my (much older) DDs.

Neighbour allows her to do this. And faffs about with her bags and pram in order that the toddler can have a really good bang on the door. This banging session went on for a good FIVE MINUTES whilst neighbour pissed about sorting out her shopping downstairs (we live in a small block of flats and she lets the toddler run up the stairs which we share..both our doors share a landing)

It's just happened again...5 minutes after I'd got my DDs settled in their room in front of a DVD....DH thinks I am mean for ignoring it and says "What's the harm...just let the toddler in...short visit whatever."

But I don't like it! I want a text message "Is it alright if I call round with X...we're almost home and could knock"

I have said to her in the past "Just text me before you call round...I don't always hear the door" but she lets this happen and yes I've posted about it before.

AIBU?

OP posts:
HotSquashedBun · 08/02/2015 00:12

Not suggesting you be rude to the toddler by the way! Just don't ever answer it and she'll probably stop doing it eventually or have a word with the mum.

ColdFeetWarmHeart · 08/02/2015 00:26

Some people are just beyond rude. Dh was woken by door knocking this morning. He looked out of window to see a British heart foundation van. Thought that's nothing to do with us. When he came downstairs there was a card from bhf man saying "came at 9:10 to collect bag. Waited 5mins" well more fool you.

MrsItsNoworNotatAll · 08/02/2015 08:19

I don't open the door to folk I don't know. I can't be arsed engaging in a pointless convo with someone trying to sell me something I've no intention of buying or joining. They just don't listen to "I'm not interested, sorry" no matter how many times I say it. I once left a chugger knocking for about 10 minutes whilst I carried on watching TV which he could clearly see was on. It was like a battle of wills to see who'd win first. Me or him. I won Grin

I used to ignore the landline but since my Mum became a widow I tend to answer it know. Cold callers have a habit of not speaking when you pick up and say hello. They wait till you say again and then start their spiel. I just hang up so they don't get chance too.

That's very rude of your neighbour. Can you turn up some music to drown out the knocking?

MrsItsNoworNotatAll · 08/02/2015 08:20
  • now not know.
CharityD · 08/02/2015 08:29

No, you don't have to answer it. I would ignore it. If your husband is prepared to mind the child, let him figure out that this could become a daily unwanted visit, and maybe he doesn't want to offer an unpaid babysitting service, on a daily basis.

It's not a good habit, and tbh, I would find it tiresome. I remember you posting before. Ignore, ignore, ignore.

KissingPotion · 08/02/2015 08:35

Yanbu, I always check out the window and I don't open my door unless it's someone I know or am expecting.
I never answer my landline as I only use that number for giving out to people I don't want calling me Grin.
Family & friends use my mobile.

Rosieliveson · 08/02/2015 08:35

Hi, I remember your last post too. I think it might be a good idea to tell your neighbour not to let her child knock after say 5 or 6 pm as you're having dinner or getting ready for bed or such like.
Maybe if she still knocks you could open the door, say 'no no' to the toddler, wave cheerily to her mum then close the door again. She will have been told in that case and you have no reason to feel rude.

BoomBoomsCousin · 08/02/2015 08:37

I think you probably need to be a bit more straightforward with the mum. If you've said to her "Please text because I don't always hear the door." She may well think you are happy with her toddler knocking until you do hear. You probably need to say something more along the lines of "Please text because it's not always convenient and the knocking disturbs the kids."

pluCaChange · 08/02/2015 08:58

Don't ignore it! Why should you have to listen to the hammering? Tell the mother explicitly to stop allowing it, as it's winding your children up. If ir persists, open the door, tell the toddler "Not tonight" yourself and shut the door. The mother will have a wound up toddler to deal with, which won't be pleasant.

Original poster
MrsTawdry · 08/02/2015 13:52

I feel so guilty about the toddler! She loves my DC and to be fair it's not her fault....her Mum is stupid for allowing it!

OP posts:
pluCaChange · 08/02/2015 17:09

Let the Mum feel guilty about her toddler's disappointment. She's the one setting up her own child to be a PITA. Not your fault!

expatinscotland · 08/02/2015 17:18

YANBU. I don't answer it, either.

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