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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to stop nagging

15 replies

TapStepBallChange · 07/02/2015 15:54

DD is 6 and the world's greatest gaffer, putting on shoes can take 5-10 minutes because she is dancing and singing songs, putting on a coat takes an age because she messes. I'm fed up with constantly shouting at her to get ready and get a move on. I'm tempted to give up, I give 10, 5 and 2 minute warnings, I want to just leave the house as she is and let her live with no coat/ shoes etc. Or for important things that she likes like swimming or parties, we will just be really late or miss it because she is incapable of doing what we ask in a reasonably timely manner. I don't need her to hurry, just not faff forever. I'm so sick of nagging all the time.

OP posts:
DeanKoontz · 07/02/2015 15:56

Yanbu. In fact, this is exactly what you should do. It might not cure her faffiness, but it will lower your blood pressure and make for a calmer house.

TywysogesGymraeg · 07/02/2015 16:09

She's 6. That's what they do. Start getting ready earlier if you want to be on time for things.
My DD is late teens. I still tell her things start half an hour earlier than they do so that we have the chance of getting there on time.

Original poster
TapStepBallChange · 07/02/2015 16:32

I try getting ready earlier, but she has an ability to fill the time available with faffing. I guess it's normal but monumentally frustrating

OP posts:
tomandizzymum · 07/02/2015 16:36

Sing a song about putting on her coat and shoes. If she likes to sing and dance then make it into a song and dance. She sounds like a happy, normal 6 year old to me.

TywysogesGymraeg · 07/02/2015 16:37

Make it into a competition? "Bet you can't get ready by the time I count to 50" etc.

Original poster
TapStepBallChange · 07/02/2015 16:52

She is sweet and it is nice she likes singing dancing. It's just every time we try to leave the house it is like this and drives me mad

OP posts:
DeanKoontz · 07/02/2015 16:57

If you need to be somewhere, school etc: Get yourself completely ready, then stand with her while she puts her shoes, coat etc on. If she starts getting distracted redirect her back to the task physically or even do it for her.

You just need to get out the door. You wont hinder her development of independence and you'll all be calmer.

Sazzle41 · 07/02/2015 19:36

Set all your clocks 15mins fast and do what Deankoontz said. Airy fairy faffing is par for course for some children at 6 , up to a point, but at some stage she needs to learn to time manage and get her act together re time and tasks.

Mocheenee · 07/02/2015 19:49

My DD does this sometimes too, but I find taking a different more adult tone with her helps.
I will Say "oh DD, will you do me such a big favour and pop your shoes on/coat on/get your book bag etc etc" but in a tone as though she is my equal, and not nagging, if that makes sense. By my equal I mean the in same tone I would use if I asked DH to do something - don't want to sound as though I am belittling my 6yr old ;)
She really responds to this better than me giving countdowns or repeated warnings. It makes her feels grown up and helpful.

MrsWembley · 07/02/2015 19:54

Oh god, you sound just like me!Grin

I am forever telling DD that, if we worked to my time frame rather than hers, we would have so much more time to do stuff. Today, for example, I asked her to tidy her room and then we'd have a play on the wii. After having to deal with arguments between her and her brother several times, which put me back in my afternoon jobs, she still hadn't done anything but kept coming back to ask when we could play. I ended up going in to supervise and when we were finished I told her we only had half an hour left. She wasn't happy and to be honest, I don't know how much the lesson went in, but it's an ongoing battle...

I'm going to be shouty mummy for some time yet...SadSad

rationaloptimist123 · 07/02/2015 20:34

I'm gonna feel old saying this, but she's only 6. Within the blink of an eye you'll realise that the memory of her singing and dancing is something so much more precious than getting everywhere on time.

Treasure these days. They'll be over before you know it.Flowers

Original poster
TapStepBallChange · 07/02/2015 22:25

Thanks, I think I need to chill a bit. It's difficult when i need to get to work or we're due at ballet. She never stops dancing and has spent the evening dancing round the kitchen

OP posts:
AgentZigzag · 07/02/2015 22:53

Awww, bless her. It sounds so sweet when it's someone else's DD, but when DD1 was doing the same I was like you and it annoyed the fuck out of me Grin

DD's 14 now and even when I'm giving her a countdown to having to leave the house she's still scrabbling about for everything she needs as everyone else is going out the door. Although not for school oddly, she gets herself ready and out of the door in half an hour without me hassling her.

At least it's because she's dancing about, better that than refusing to get ready, sulking, getting stroppy because she doesn't want to go, giving you backchat etc etc etc.

rationaloptimist123 · 07/02/2015 23:07

When she's dancing round the kitchen just wrap her up in your most loving embrace. She'll soon get sick of that. And it's so much more fun for you than getting cross.

Original poster
TapStepBallChange · 08/02/2015 20:07

Good thinking rational

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