To cancel dinner tomorrow night

[cardamomginger]

DD has given me her cold. I was feeling a bit crappy Monday and Tuesday but now feel bloody awful. Dizzy, joints feel 'odd', eyes hurt, sneezing all over the place, knackered, bad-tempered, can't think straight, not sleeping well. Just horrible. Everything feels like too much effort (apart from being on MN, of course).

We have invited friends round for dinner tomorrow night. There will be 8 of us. I will have to do all the cooking, although we will buy in dessert. I am also likely to have to do the lion's share of childcare tomorrow as well. I just can't face it. Not the preparation, not the entertaining and being a host, not the late night, not the clearing up. I'm sure our guests wouldn't thank me for infecting them. I just want to cancel and stay in PJs all day.

I feel bad about this, and I think DH would vastly prefer it if I could get myself together and get on with it. As background, we moved into our house abut a year ago from living in a tiny, tiny, tiny flat. We are trying to entertain as much as possible to repay hospitality to friends that we just haven't properly been able in the way that we now can. DH is going to feel particularly bad about cancelling a couple of these friends.

WIBU to cancel? Would DH BU if he tells me AIBU?

Of course you wouldn't be unreasonable. If your DH wants this meal to happen, presumably he could juggle cooking and childcare while you rest up in bed during the day. If that's unlikely to happen, just cancel.

I wouldn't really want to eat a meal that had been cooked by someone clearly full of cold and snot. Your friends will understand.

Cancel! No question.

You are ill.

And you don't want to pass it on obviously.

I would not be impressed to go to dinner at someone's house where they had prepared food while dying with a cold! Both from the point of view of catching it and feeling guilty that the hostess had done so!

I'm sure friends would understand if you had to postpone to another date if you're ill. If dh is worried about cancelling, can't he help with the cooking? If you're unwell why are you doing it all??

If your friends and your husband don't understand that you don't feel like entertaining, cooking and babysitting when you feel like shite, they are not very nice people.

Cancel today, you might feel even worse tomorrow and at least you're giving your mates notice.

Can dh help out with the childcare and prep? If not I think he just has to suck it up if you cancel. I don't think your guests would thank you for infecting them all. I would cancel in your shoes and do it sooner rather than later so it's not a last minute thing.

YANBU

Yeah. It would be pretty disgusting, wouldn't it? Beef stew with red wine and snot?

When I get ill, I lose all track of what is and is not reasonable for me to do. Thanks for the reality check.

itistheweekend - well, that's all part of a bigger situation....

Absolutely cancel now while there's notice as Sandiego says.

Text guests, apologise that as you've been a bit off colour you are going to all get a takeaway (which you pay for)

DH does any housework necessary, setting table etc. gives you time in bed to rest up.

Your guests will want to see you no one much cares about the food.

With some rest and without the cooking stress you might feel up to it.

Have them for a home cooked meal another time.

If your DH really wants the evening to go ahead can't he cook instead?

Just reschedule to another time. They wont want your bug.

Surely the options ar either you cancel with regre or your DH cooks?

If it means that much to him he'll do it, he may not feel confident cooking something extravagant for that many but you could help him pick a one pot curry or red wine casserole dish

I think it's cancel. Unless I can stay in bed upstairs, which probably defeats the purpose of inviting everyone round.

Your husband is capable of cooking and childcare if he is able-bodied. Tell him he does it ALL of you cancel.

Well yes, you could get a take away. Your DH could get his finger out and cook the meal.

But.. You are ill. With a nasty sounding virus. I would be a bit if I was invited to dinner to a friend's house in the full knowledge that there is a decent chance of picking up said virus.

Postpone until next weekend?

I've cried off going to friend's for lunch today, even though it's 5 minutes round the corner. Sent DH and DD and I've stayed in.

Yeah, they'll all hate me if I make them ill.

Postpone! Your DH hasn't actually said not to cancel. He might agree with you.

TBF he hasn't. Just when I am ill I lose track of what is and is not reasonable. And DH (to his credit and quite correctly) actually does set some store in collective MN wisdom.

Is he working, then, today? Otherwise why would all of the childcare and all of the cooking fall to you?

The alternative is to invite everyone round and order an Indian takeaway; that would be a better alternative to you cooking, but it still leaves you with the problem of infecting everyone.

I am sure your friends will understand, I would be grateful that you did cancel and didn't spread your cold to me. Once you are well, you can reschedule. For now, rest in bed and drink hot lemony drinks, take a cold medication and get well soon.

We've cancelled.

DH did offer to help cook tomorrow. But I said I still wanted to cancel. I can't do a late night, am pretty much incapable of a conversation at the moment my brain is so jumbled, and I'd still run the risk of infecting everyone.

We're rescheduling for a few weeks time.

DH wasn't massively happy, but is more or less OK with it.

And thanks everyone .

I agree! Hell will freeze over first. But that's a whole other thread...