About being woken at 4am?

[ScathingContempt]

19 year old daughter got me out of bed at 4am because she had been out drinking and been unable to unlock the front door. I told her off for making me get up and she's not in the least bit apologetic. Rather, she stood there with an 'omg' expression as if I was unreasonable for being annoyed. She wasn't overly drunk, from what I could discern. I have a 6 week old baby, hence why I am still awake (feeding). I had not long got to sleep since the last feed.

I texted my partner who was also out drinking (with my blessing, that's not an issue) to have a moan about daughter's lack of thought & remorse only to be told I am being unfair because that's just what 19 year olds do. Apparently, I shouldn't even be annoyed at being woken at 4am, never mind expect an apology.

Am I just ridiculously sleep deprived or aibu to a) expect not to be woken up to unlock the door and b) to at least get an apology for it?

I don't even feel like I can push for one in the morning now, because I'll just be undermined by my partner.

I think you need to stop treating you adult child as if she is made of glass and start to assert yourself a little.

Babies cry. It is in the job description! 19 year olds should have more consideration and be better prepared than to need their mum to wake up at 4am so they can roll home after a boozy night out. And not to even apologise is just shocking. She comes across as indulged, immature and selfish and is behaving like a much younger teenager, not a 19 year old.

ON what sort of planet does the partner of a woman with a new baby go out drinking until 4am!! How can he help with night feeds? Is it a sexist relationship?

OPs partner is female, Jilly.

She does sound unempathetic and unsupportive though.

OP you say this is your turn to be "mum" - did you offer your dp any assistance at night when it was hers? (I'm betting you did, but perhaps not!) It's been my turn to be mum twice but my view of what "mum" means doesn't include general dogsbody! There aren't many nights out that need to be going on after 4am, Christmas or otherwise.

I am more concerned with the fact that you feel undermined by your partner and she tells you to "shut up" if you voice any concerns.

Nice.

instead of backing me up, my partner just tells me to shut up.

Your partner tells you to shut up? in front of your children?

Ds1 (17) was out at a party last night - said he might be home early hours or might stay over, but would text to let me know and he would be sharing a taxi back with his girlfriend.

In the end he was back about midnight, crept in, I wouldn't have heard him except he stuck his head round and announced that he was back - to save me waking at 3am and wondering if he was back yet...

It's just courtesy really.

Mrsj70 why are you staying up to get him up? Better to let him miss it and experience the natural consequences of that...