To think the doctor should have made the consequences of this medication more clear?

[WeldedParentMaterials]

DH has an illness which came on within the last year, it is being managed (ish) by medication.

One of the side effects of some of the medication is that it causes infertility while you're on it and birth defects if you were to conceive on it.

When he was told about this treatment the doctor gave a list of potential side effects and said "you can't have babies while you're on it". At the time DH was so unwell he agreed as thought it would make him better.

It now transpires that he won't get better, and he needs to stay on the drugs indefinitely, maybe forever.

We have no children yet. Had he known at the time this was potentially going to be the case he either wouldn't have agreed or we would have tried to get some of his sperm frozen before the treatment started.

I think the doctor should have explained this and given us this option. I feel like we've been robbed of a family.

I'm really

Emma - that really isn't helpful. If you read the leaflets that come with most drugs and worried about all the side effects then no-one would take any drugs at all!

I happen to take methotrexate, as well as a while host of other drugs. It takes quite a while to actually get going in your system. It took 3 months before I noticed a difference in my symptoms (I take it for ulcerative colitis and enteropathic arthritis). There are side effects but on the whole they are an awful lot more bearable than the effects of my auto-immune diseases.

As far as I was aware, the big no-no is for women to conceive whilst taking methotrexate. I've never heard of men being told that they can't TTC whilst taking it. There are also plenty of alternative (safe to conceive on) drugs available for your husband to try too (although, not knowing what he's taking it for I can't actually recommend any to ask for). But certainly, he shouldn't be concerned about it not working if he's only been taking it for a short time.

Oh, and please please please don't listen to people who tell you/him that a special diet/yoga/more exercise/less exercise/yogurt weaving will help. It won't. Auto-immune diseases are caused by all manner of factors, environmental ones (such as diet) being only a very small part (if a part at all). I spent a miserable two years following an extremely strict exclusion diet. Didn't make the slightest bit of difference and both my UC and EA continued to flare. You'll also find people promoting supplements and those fucking Forever Aloe products that are also a 'cure'. They aren't. Bloody parasites preying on vulnerable people with their crappy snake-oil 'cures'. I'm on support groups on FB for both my auto-immune conditions and these people continue to infiltrate the groups and try and sell their products in disguise.

PrettyPenguin - it's important that men don't conceive when on MTX as it can cause birth defects and it can also result in a low sperm count (which is reversed upon stopping)
In women it can cause birth defects too and cause miscarriage.

That's helpful Emma
OP, I worked in rheumatology and both male and female patients on methotrexate took breaks to conceive.
As another poster pointed out, there are alternative drugs too.
MTX is a chemotherapy, but it's used in very small doses - I've taken it myself and it can be very effective. Works very well for many people with inflammatory disease. It takes up to 3 months to work.
Please don't worry, ask him to discuss this issue with his rheumatologist - maybe go with him to get some reassurance.
Good luck!

I haven't fully read every response so forgive me if it's already been mentioned but one person who might have been overlooked and can be useful when it comes to new meds is your pharmacist.

I know that my current one asks me questions before I start a new med and makes sure I know the details of how to take it. And a previous pharmacist has 'caught' a prescription of mine before, queried it with my GP and had me put on something else (can't for the life of me remember what it was now).

Current pharmacist has also made a mistake and given me a packet of pills 5x the strength of my usual ones, which I didn't notice before taking and had to have an ambulance called out to me at home, and two people come to my house - one to babysit if something further happened and the other to watch me through the night and ready to take me to hospital if needed. He apologised and I got a written apology too but... yeah, not failsafe. Maybe the current one is cautious about making sure I know dosages etc having made that previous mistake with me... but I digress.

I'm sorry that you've had a lifelong diagnosis as a couple, and hope some of the advice already given has provided you with some ideas and hope for TTC.

Thank you for the posts

I'm feeling much more hopeful today. I do seem to be having good days and then days in complete despair, on good days I do realise there could be options.

He's been on it for 9 months now, so long enough (IM[non-medical]O!) for it to work.

DH absolutely won't TTC while taking it, that's his bottom line. I understand his reasoning.

Decaf I'm glad you were okay!

If the methotrexte isn't working then they need to start looking at alternatives anyway. Why take something like that, if it isn't helping him?

I take methotrextate and have done for the past year. There are so many unpleasant side affects of it, so he and the doctor really do need to talk about alternative strategies - maybe an alternative medication will help him more.

It is certainly something I intend doing at my next appointment with the consultant, and I am not even TTC or anything - just hoping to have something with better results.