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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not get the attitude to periods

182 replies

mytartanscarf · 06/02/2015 22:17

Some people seem to think there really is something horrible about them. People always urge sanitary protection to be given in food bank parcels. Someone leaving a sanitary towel out is treated with horror.

I don't get it. I've occasionally found myself in a position where I don't have sanitary towels in. I don't think a used sanitary towel is necessarily any worse than anything used for bodily fluids! I think there are more prevalent things on the minds of homeless women than periods.

Aibu? Not being an arse: I don't get it!

OP posts:
MistressMerryWeather · 06/02/2015 23:11

My doctor was very quiet during my last smear because her voice kept echoing.

Strange.

mytartanscarf · 06/02/2015 23:12

Grin mistress Grin

OP posts:
SuperFlyHigh · 06/02/2015 23:12

OP I'm just staggered that you can't see that other women have different periods to you unless you were very immature.

DropYourSword · 06/02/2015 23:13

Aw Tartan, you came off at the start of this thread a little bizarrely the way you expressed yourself, but you've listened and taken on board what people have said. I don't think you should have to defend yourself any further because you're actually being very reasonable.

FarFromAnyRoad · 06/02/2015 23:13

Mistress! Grin

mytartanscarf · 06/02/2015 23:14

I think i was able to recognise different, super but perhaps not to the heavy extent described by some on here. I appreciate the time they took to explain. I don't know much about others' periods or I didn't until now.

OP posts:
Pipbin · 06/02/2015 23:15

Tomorrow when I buy my own towels
You said you use kitchen roll.

At my last smear I commented that the nurse's ring was cold. She said that she wasn't wearing a ring, she was wearing a watch though.

Rabbishes · 06/02/2015 23:15

Well this is disappointing, it's AIBU, and you're being very, very reasonable. That's not how it works.

Someone needs to start flinging names about and making wild accusations.

LillyEvans · 06/02/2015 23:16

Even if you have light periods, without protection the blood would stain your clothes and make them smell.

Washing clothes that frequently probably won't be an option for someone who can't even afford to buy a tampon.

mytartanscarf · 06/02/2015 23:17

Drop thanks :) There are probably some fair points; I am possibly like other healthy people and take that health for granted to an extent.

I don't lack empathy or compassion but I do I suppose need it pointing out to me if it significantly differs from my own knowledge. Hopefully that makes some sense!

OP posts:
mytartanscarf · 06/02/2015 23:18

Pip I'm using kitchen roll now as a stop gap as I got in from work and had no towels in so shoved some kitchen roll in my pants Smile i don't use it all the time; just when I don't have any towels in.

OP posts:
MistressMerryWeather · 06/02/2015 23:18

:o Pipbin.

Tiny wrists, surely?

MistressMerryWeather · 06/02/2015 23:24

It's nice to have someone being reasonable on AIBU.

Does the kitchen roll not bother you, though? It must bunch, ball and shift.

Get thee some towels. I use sainsbos own brand, they are unscented and cheap so you can stock up.

Bifauxnen · 06/02/2015 23:26

Have I missed something? I'm also healthy but have heavy periods. Why would your health have anything to do with your lack of understanding?

CaptainHolt · 06/02/2015 23:27

Captain - at the risk of being called names again I genuinely didn't know people had such heavy periods without being unwell in some way.

I really don't know what you mean. Even if you only lost a tablespoon of blood, which is not a huge amount and would easily be absorbed by a regular tampon, then it would cause a hell of a lot of mess on your clothes, furniture, bedding etc.

If everyones periods were a little pink stain that could be wiped up with a square of kitchen roll then there wouldn't be a sanitary protection market. What do you think all those roller skating in white leggings adverts are about? People can do that because of sanitary protection, not because a normal period wouldn't come past your knickers and a bit of kitchen roll.

mytartanscarf · 06/02/2015 23:27

Oh it's definitely not ideal but manageable if you see what I mean. I think that's "where I was coming from" in my op as seeing sanitary towels as necessary but something you could substitute if necessary. Others have explained well why this isn't the case though don't all shout at me again!

In all honesty though I'm not very good at looking after myself - ironically I can care for others well! - but when it's me I'm rubbish at it!

OP posts:
mytartanscarf · 06/02/2015 23:28

Bi I suppose I mean that I am healthy and don't have excessively heavy periods as described by some here.

OP posts:
Lucked · 06/02/2015 23:33

It sounds like you could get away with a panty liner have you never wondered why the supermarkets stock super, super plus products?

I also agree that the amount of flow you have is not directly related to your health health! yes people at either end of the spectrum ranging from no periods to passing fists sized clots may have health problems but for most women it is just their period.

CaptainHolt · 06/02/2015 23:36

But...but....but...even fairly light periods would stain your clothes and bedding and leak through onto furniture. There are very few people who could do a full day at work on their period without using proper protection and it would create a hell of a lot of washing. Not good if you are already on the bones of your arse.

Bifauxnen · 06/02/2015 23:36

I'm dubious that an adult woman who has actually had a period would post like this.
Same as I'm dubious that a woman would need to know how other women wash their fannies.
Strange things afoot tonight.

MistressMerryWeather · 06/02/2015 23:38

I'm not very good at looking after myself

Well that needs to change.

Do you ever do online shopping from supermarkets? There are ways that you can make sure you will remember to get the stuff you need to take care of yourself that way.

elephantoverthehill · 06/02/2015 23:56

Oh why can't these down and outs use rolled up bandages as my mother had to just after the war. Apparently there were a lot of spare bandages about then. In a house of four women every neighbour would know they were 'on the rag', from the contents of the washing line. Fast forward to 1970's when my mum had real problems playing a round of golf when she was having her period. ( 3-4 hours without any where to change and using the antiquated belt system). Thank goodness I was brought up in a different era and nobody should be expected to return to that ignorance of basic human needs. There is a lovely story of a man in India who has brought sanitary protection to villages on the BBC magazine.

Coumarin · 06/02/2015 23:56

When I was younger I had very heavy periods. On one occasion I was walking home from uni and my period started so suddenly that the blood literally poured down the insides of my legs to my ankles and soaked my socks and shoes. Fortunately I just had a 5 minute walk home before I could peel my wet, cold and sticky jeans off and get into a hot shower.

I also sometimes pass big clots that cause severe cramping, cold sweats and nausea. This can go on for hours. Then there's the anxiety, mood swings and general feeling of doom and gloom. I'm not a rare case at all and I've had my hormones checked and many scans and all is as it should be. It's not like that every month either but I can't predict how it'll be until it happens.

I can slob out on a comfy sofa with blankets, hot water bottles, a big bar of chocolate and some crap 80's film. I have painkillers in the cupboard, hot water for washing and lots of tampons so I can feel fresh and clean.

Imagine being a woman sleeping in a doorway on some cardboard, maybe a big coat and a sleeping bag if you're lucky, with all that ^ going on as well. So not only are you cold, feeling scared and vulnerable but now you're in physical pain and cold and wet from sitting in your own blood.

The very least we, and any shelter charities, can do is provide sanitary protection to make it a tiny bit less uncomfortable.

Being without £ and using a food bank isn't quite as bad a scenario, but to have to choose between getting a carton of milk or decent pads/tampons must be incredibly shit. It's about dignity and helping people maintain their own standards of self care.

I see you have changed your opinion now but just in case there's anyone left who thinks the same as you did when you started the thread.

elephantoverthehill · 07/02/2015 00:03

Courmarin, I have a friend who experienced what you are describing. she was put on the pill and many other hormone treatments that didn't work. I have been with her on so many occasions and was able to provide clean clothes, shower, new knicks etc. How would it be for someone with no hot water, clean clothes etc

AvaCrowder · 07/02/2015 00:15

I love that story about the man in India, it's like a love story to his wife.

I was looking at mooncups on here a few years ago, they make two sizes. Small for the not mothers and under thirty, and large for the mothers over thirty. A very kind mumsnetter looked into it and said the large is just one milimeter bigger.

Periods are horrid.

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