treating grandchildren differently

[mumscuppa]

AIBU to think that at Christmas my MIL was being unfair when she gave my children a very small box of chocs ( they are stepgrandchildren) from my first marriage although grown up and independent so is her true grandchild , my youngest son whom she gave £50 to , I was very upset that she didn't treat them all the same . My youngest son is a very sensible lad and felt awkward about the whole thing on his brother and sister's behalf. Any thoughts?

My grandmother has a shedload of grandchildren.

Some blood, some step. One adopted and two who were adopted out and have since got back in touch.

She loves us all the same.
She's a truly incredible woman though.

I have step grandparents (just my (step) Dad's mum now) & that's pretty much what has always happened here. My brother & I were always touched that she got us anything at all as there was no expectation she would need to.

As it happens we have no contact with our (biological) dad's family so we didn't have a full set of grandparents - but that's their problems not hers! My sister was born when I was 21 & my brother was 18 so we were already adults ... I think if there is a much smaller age gap & the siblings had been brought up as children together it might be different. We would never expect to receive any inheritance from her.

Im a step grandparent as well - my daughter's partner has a son Jack who lives with his DM, but stays at his dad/DD house every weekend- when my GDD was born I made sure I bought Jack a pressie too, and always get him things for Xmas- he visits often and is a lovely lad, it wouldnt be fair just to give my GDD presents and not him- but I do spend more on my GDD than on Jack, but his other GP buy for him not on my GDD which I believe is quite normal??

These children I gather are grown up. It is natural she would want to give more to her biological grandchild, but she should do so in private, not in front of her step grandchildren.

If they are all adults, YABVU.

Nope, can't get worked up.

If you were talking about one small child getting a tube of Smarties in a room full of other people getting expensive presents then maybe.

I had this while growing up. My stepfather's parents would only buy for my half brother/sister (stepfather's bio DC). His mother used to wrap the presents so beautifully with ribbons and shit (or used to make them massive gift bags). I used to be jealous as hell especially as they were the only 'grandparent' figures in our lives as my mother's parents were dead and there was no contact with my father or his parents after their divorce.

Of course I was 'wrong' to be jealous according to my mother.

YANBU OP in the disparity but I think the thought was there in the box of chocs which is nice, maybe the finance wasn't?

if they have been in there life from small children that,s cruel .my son,s partner had a little girl before she met my son .i adore her she is an angel.i would never make a difference between her and the baby we are all family .and just let anyone say we are not .

Yabu

I think it's ok if they are adults. Would they even care? Did they give her a present equal to what they gave their 'blood' grandparents?

We still don't know what sort of relationship they have. Do they send her birthday cards, a present, phone her up or drop in? They are adults and if they have a good relationship you would expect this.

I have DSD 7 and DD 2 months and my family treat them exactly the same to the point they've set them both up savings accounts and pay into them the same.

Their joint grandma is currently treating DD like she doesn't exist yet adores DSD. The favouritism is unreal from their joint family yet my family wouldn't dream of doing that!!!

These are adults- not small children!