Child going home from school

[TwinkieTwinkle]

I took my son (8) to the park after school today (30 seconds away from the school). DS was happy playing with his friends. I was sitting with all the parents of the children, apart from one. I assumed she was sitting in her car as she sometimes does that at pickup time. When we all left the park the boy, who's mother wasn't there, told me he was walking home. His walk is a 25 minute (minimum) walk. That is including a cycle path, several busy roads and a dark park. He then changed his mind and decided he was getting a tram home because he 'couldn't be bothered walking'. He proceeded to explain he had got a tram several times to and from school but had never paid because, although he had the money, his mother had never shown him how to use the ticket machines. Not knowing what to do, I walked the boy to the ticket machine, showed him how to get his ticket, made sure he knew EXACTLY where to get off and waited to check he got on it ok. AIBU to think that this is something I should possibly be mentioning to the school? (Before anyone asks, I know the mother's situation: she doesn't work and has plenty of time to pick up her child)

TooHasty the fact that some of what you describe was acceptable in the past doesn't make it reasonable by today's higher standards. I think this isn't ideal but doesn't necessarily cross the boundary into neglect. I see no harm in mentioning it the school and let them decide whether it's worth doing anything about it.

He may have been shown how to buy a tram ticket and promptly forgotten how. When DS was 11 he changed schools and needed to get the city bus to his father's work one afternoon a week, I did a couple of trial runs with him. The first week I showed him how to work out which bus he could take, how to flag it down and how to buy a ticket. The second week I had him take the lead and he denied all knowledge of how to do any of it!

I also used to walk myself and my little sister to school from a young age. However, the difference now is the massive increase in traffic. I have a photo of the road where I grew up, and would cross to get to school, and there are about 3 cars on it (1975 ish). Today that road is a double parked traffic jam full of impatient drivers with little regard for a small child trying to cross.

'twooddsocks' of course it is not acceptable.
The point is about what children are capable of doing not what they should do.

"today's higher standards" Sorry, but really that's hilarious.

IMO - and apparently that of the school concerned - it is totally acceptable for 8 year olds to make their own way home. In fact, more of them should. The reasons they don't - apart from traffic, but not sure that holds true everywhere tbh - is needing to get to work, habit, laziness and a teeny bit of paranoia.

The ticket machine thing - I'm with the other posters who reckon he has been saving the money for something important like Match Attax but yes, it's a shame he didn't seem confident in using it.

Also, with so many more families having 2 working parents, picking up on the way home is often just more straightforward. It's fine to be walking home to a parent, carer, sibling. Walking home to an empty house, not so marvellous. Bit lonely.

I agree about reporting op - or do you know the mum well enough to speak to her? However I suppose that would be awkward.

There's no way in hell I would let my 8 year old walk home from school, not for 5 mins and definitely not for 25 and on a team etc.

Yes of course I used to walk home at around that age but things are very different now. It's like saying 'we never had car seats when I was a child so I won't use one for mine now'.

In our town only this week a man in a van with a mask approached a young boy and tried to take him away 2 mins from school as he was walking home.

I just don't think the risk outweighs the benefits and my DS won't be walking home until he is in year 5 / 6 in preparation for walking to high school.

To me the main issue is still that he does not appear to be expected to be straight home within a reasonable time frame. If he can go to the park and play before making his way home he is left to wander. As mentioned before, my daughter of similar age walks but if she is not home within 30 min a search party goes out. Also we have discussed very clearly which exact way to walk and if she wants to play, visit etc she needs to come home and tell me first.

Do people really let 8 year olds walk 20 mins home on their own? I'm really surprised that so many people think this is ok. My DD2 is this age - she would be fine doing it with her elder sister but alone, no. I only know of one child at our primary school who does this and lots of us are a bit concerned for his safety and keep an eye out for him.

I think I would mention it at school.

My dd was walking 20 mins to and from school from Y5. Lots of her peers were.

our school lets dc make their own way home in year 3 (so 7/8 yo) upon parental request.

I don't let my 9 yr old walk to school, as traffic is v heavy where we live. There are 3 busy roads with no lollipops or other crossings. He'll start in yr 6 though, as his sister did.

Neither of them get the tram yet, though dd(11) is gearing up to it.

There is a girl in school who gets the (public) bus to and from school herself, she is 9.