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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think a large amount of attempted abductions are just the result of over active imaginations....

106 replies

Pantone363 · 03/02/2015 21:56

Possibly I am. Just pondering yet another report of a local child being approached on the way to school and nearly abducted.

Reports usually posted on FB Hmm and involve a car stopping and child being called over or a van driving past slowly and then driving off fast.

Today's report is a teenage girl who fought off a man wearing a balaclava driving a big black van. On a very busy stretch of road during rush hour. Which nobody else saw. Police are investigating according to the email from the school.

IABU to think that a lot of these reports are products of over active imaginations, attention seeking or the result of fear mongering around peadophiles? Or are there actually monthly attempted abductions of small children by strangers?

OP posts:
mywholelifeisaheadache · 03/02/2015 22:31

yabu if you've read the same statuses as me or been contacted by the same schools

Bettybodybooboo · 03/02/2015 22:31

Mmm well the one in our village was an attempted abduction and thankfully the police and adults around took it seriously and she was saved from a very dangerous man.

Hopefully the courts will step up and do their job although it's been fiasco after fiasco so far with the victim and family treated like nuicences. Not by the police though they have been amazing.

Yes there are always twatty adults on FB but that's not to be complacent.

Shenanagins · 03/02/2015 22:32

I see a lot of these "reports" appearing on Facebook and surprise surprise a quick look on the police website doesn't show up any such incident.

Personally I think this kind of reporting is dangerous as we get so used to seeing the numerous false rumours than it detracts from when something real actually happens. Indeed a police friend took to Facebook to get onto people for posting unsubstantiated crap.

mywholelifeisaheadache · 03/02/2015 22:34

In my area several schools sent out the same.message, similar to the OP. I always thought those statuses were histrionic bullcrap til today And enough parents round here are concerned enough to be walking or driving their y7-9 children to school

fakenamefornow · 03/02/2015 22:34

I heard once on the radio a journalist did an experiment. They reported a big cat sighting in Scotland (all made up) within a week there had been eight other sightings. Personally I think the rest of the sighting were probably mistaken, rather than made up, people may have really believed they saw a big cat.

I think a similar thing might be going on here. As the Op says a car slows down, somebody acting suspiciously, it's described as a potential abductions. An adult in a car slows to speak to a child, child runs off and again it's a potential abduction. I think people are so scared of child abduction, it is terrifying, but maybe we see things that aren't there. I was in a nightclub once and was going to a party afterwards, the party host had said that I could bring two other people with me, maybe I invited a couple more than that. Sometime later people were coming up to me in the club asking if I was going to the party afterwards, I thought there must be another party somewhere, turned out it was the same party. I think abduction stories can get twisted a little like that. People repeat one tail, tiny details change between tellings, and before you know it you have what seems like three or four incidents.

Sadly I think if you're a pedophile there are much easier ways to get your hands on children than to try to snatch them off the street during the school run.

Original poster
Pantone363 · 03/02/2015 22:35

Children reporting sexual abuse and being listened to and believed is a WORLD away from "a man pulled up near me and was acting suspicious"

It's muddying the waters to pretend otherwise.

OP posts:
lostincumbria · 03/02/2015 22:36

There are approximately 200 attempted child abductions by strangers each year. Around 50 are successful. What you see on Facebook is normally nonsense.

fakenamefornow · 03/02/2015 22:36

Tale

fakenamefornow · 03/02/2015 22:38

lostincumbria

Is that true? If it is l'm shocked it's so high.

DixieNormas · 03/02/2015 22:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Shenanagins · 03/02/2015 22:41

Lostincumbria are they abductions by strangers or a known family member eg a father wanting access?

TracyBarlow · 03/02/2015 22:42

OP you are correct. I work for a local newspaper. The number of reports of this kind of stuff that we get is mind-boggling.

I have been a reporter for 12 years. Number of 'attempted abductions' on our patch reported to us = at least 2 per week.

Number of actual corroborated abductions on our patch = none in the whole of the past 12 years.

Some of them may be genuine attempted abductions but, and I say this with a massively heavy heart, lots of them are clearly children making up stories or their parents enjoying the drama. We get one repeat offender whose children have 'nearly' been abducted three times in the past year or so. Always by Eastern European men, always in a van.

It's so sad, because I've no doubt that a small proportion of these claims are not made up. But there are not an infinite number of police officers to follow up all of these reports.

ILovePud · 03/02/2015 22:44

You are muddying the waters Pantone363 to suggest that children are not to be believed, that contributes to the kind of culture in which children who have experienced abuse don't speak out and when they do they are dismissed. Facebook hysteria and distortions are a separate issue but I think reports from children should always be taken seriously, there may well be an innocent explanation for a man in a van pulling up beside them but we shouldn't be making children feel dismissed.

Bettybodybooboo · 03/02/2015 22:44

If it makes people and especially children on their guard, confident to say no to adults and refuse to be compliant or scared. If it makes bystanders aware of children in potentially dangerous situations then that's fantastic.

How can more awareness be a bad thing.

I was a kid in the 70s and trust me yes we roamed the streets and had more autonomy over our free time but were not believed, not listened to and not regarded by most adults.

Much better now.

choccyp1g · 03/02/2015 22:45

I think a lot of the stories are not attempted abduction but are sexual harassment.

MarthaMonkeynuts · 03/02/2015 22:46

I made up an attempted abduction by two men in a van when I was 8 years old and pissed off that I had to walk home from Brownies alone. I thought I would get the attention I obviously deserved, and someone would walk me home in future.

My parents just looked at me like this Hmm

Bettybodybooboo · 03/02/2015 22:46

And there are always daft aduits dramatising everything on fb.

2 different things.

Bettybodybooboo · 03/02/2015 22:48

Agree with that chocci and hopefully sexual harassment is now taken so seriously it doesn't lead to abduction or rape.

rinabean · 03/02/2015 22:51

Of course it happens, I had a guy try to get me to get in his van when I was just starting high school. And plenty of men sexually harassing girls who are obviously in school uniforms, I can't even count the number of times that happened to me. How could anyone imagine it?

Why would you assume that the girl is lying and the man was only being friendly? That's so fucked up and that is not "a world away" or "muddying the waters". Gross

ILovePud · 03/02/2015 22:52

choccyp1g I think you make a very important point. When I was a teenager (often in school uniform) I remember frequently being harassed by men and groups of men in cars and vans, nobody ever tried to drag me in but I remember a couple of occasions when they tried to persuade me to get in and how frightening it was. So many of my friends have had similar experiences, I thought most women would be able to relate to this.

amarmai · 03/02/2015 22:54

so we should only listen to children after they have been abused and not beleive them when they tell us about attempts that have not succeeded? What is your agenda 363? Surely prevention is better than dealing with the aftermath of abuse. BTW what sensible person would slow down a vehicle and crawl alongside a child? I am glad that FB is warning parents-even if some are not necessary. Better safe than sorry.

Original poster
Pantone363 · 03/02/2015 22:59

No I'm not muddying the waters, this is not a thread specifically about teenage girls. Today's incident was a teenage girl. Most of the other reports have been primary age boys and girls.

I'm going to go ahead and guess that actually a potential child abductor did not drive up and down a busy main road wearing a full face black balaclava and try to abduct a girl this morning.

This is not an attack on #webelieveyou. We all know rape and sexual assault on women is commonplace. Real abduction of children by strangers is ridiculously rare.

OP posts:
Original poster
Pantone363 · 03/02/2015 23:02

One persons "slowing down and crawling along" is another persons lost/looking for a safe place to stop/trying to park.

I am saying that I don't think it's healthy to foster a culture of fear in children that every slow moving vehicle or encounter with an adult they don't know is attempted abduction.

OP posts:
TheEnduringMoment · 03/02/2015 23:04

My instinct is with you OP. But...in the seven years my DC have been at primary school we've had two letters from the school passing specific warnings on from the police, and the latest time a man was arrested, so that doesn't sound like Chinese whispers to me.

rinabean · 03/02/2015 23:06

You'd be surprised what people get away with in public.

And of course it's rare, most people are able to either get away if they were physically dragged in or realise what it is and run off if they were being coerced. That's why these are all only attempted abductions. It's like saying getting run over is fairly rare so don't bother looking left and right any more...

You are definitely muddying the waters when you "go ahead and guess" that yet another teenage girl lied about an attempted sexual assault which nobody else saw because of her overactive imagination. If you don't like me saying that try not doing it instead of defending it. Those are your literal words