WWYD? Endo and motherhood

[hopingforamiracle]

I'm 24 and diagnosed with endometriosis, terrified about the impact on my fertility.
I'm not in a relationship and my biological clock is driving me crazy. The not knowing about whether I can even conceive is making me really depressed and I feel like if I leave it too long I may never have children.

I really don't know what to do. I really want to be a mother.

Do I risk the spreading and worsening of my endo by waiting for 'the one' (if he ever turns up). If so, how long do I wait? Or do I wait a few years, try and find someone, if I don't within a certain timeframe, go the sperm donor route? Or do I just go ahead with it asap?

I think your second option is probably the best.

I dont subscribe to "the one" theory anyway tbh. "the one" is a different at different stages in your life, the key is in finding someone you can grow with as the years pass. I'll let you know if I ever manage it (Just call me Ross...... )

But equally, 24 is still quite young so I wouldnt be going ahead alone just yet.

What have the doctors said about your endo? Have they said what impact it may have? Have they checked your tubes and ovaries? If not then I would be asking for detailed scans and perhaps hormone tests to check that you are ovulating and that your tubes are clear as that is the main issue.

Perhaps give yourself 5 years to settle down with someone and then look into the donor route. But do try to calm down a wee bit, nothing can put a man off quicker than a woman with that crazed "GET ME PREGNANT!" look in her eyes! Joking of course, but try to find a guy you love as a partner FIRST and think about the children second, rather than focussing on finding a potential father.

I have endo (quite bad) and PCOS - was diagnosed when I was in my early 20s. I was a bit worried about being able to conceive but my partner didn't want kids yet (I met my husband when I was 21) and so we didn't start trying until almost a year after we were married (when I was 29). DD1 was conceived after 3 months, and the other two were one hit wonders! DS actually managed to evade THREE types of contraception.

I think way too many women get told that endo or PCOS pretty much renders them infertile when in fact it isn't actually always the case. I am friends with three sisters, all of whom have PCOS and were all told (by separate gynaecologists) that they would never have children. It was all complete nonsense and two of them have had two kids each with no problems and the third is currently pregnant with child number 2.

How were you diagnosed? Have you been offered treatment?

I'm sorry to hear you are in such a difficult position.

You may well have read this blog already, but if not there is a brilliant blog called 'Single, Infertile, Female' by a young single women who lives in Alaska. She also has endometriosis and struggled with a lot of the concerns that you did. I think she tried IVF and unfortunately for her it didn't work but she ended up adopting a beautiful baby as a single women. I think it might be a good read for you because she is coming from a very similar place in her life. You might also find it hard to read, so proceed with caution.

If I were you I would consider dating older men, at least 30 plus if you are not already. You are more likely that way to meet someone who is interested in the whole commitment and babies lifestyle in the not too distant future.

I wish you all the best.

What have you been told by your gynae? I have PCOS and endo. I also conceived 2 DC in my 30s. DS1 took a year and DS2 7 months. Find out as much factual info as you can before making any decisions.

I wasn't diagnosed til I was 28 -despite going to Dr for help from 14! I took the pill from 14 pretty much continuously to help control the pain so had few 'real' periods. Mine never showed on scans but was severe by the time I was operated on age 28.

I had a more intensive surgery at 29 and I got them to check my tubes which were fine. My consultant said he felt confident I had a good chance of conceiving.

I started trying after getting married at 30. No luck. It was horrendous being off the pill. The physical pain and the emotional pain.

Because of the endo, I only had to TTC 6mo before I started the investigations. So after 12 mo I was accepted for IVF on NHS. Worked first try! (Which was lucky as they would fund one cycle only).

At 34 shortly after receiving a PCOS diagnosis I have fallen pregnant naturally! I think the pregnancy and over two years bf helped.

I do know of a couple of endo sufferers who have got easily got pregnant naturally. Apparently, around 60-70% can.

I also know some who got there naturally after a few years.

Have you had your Fallopian tubes checked? What does your consultant advise you to do?

Your eggs should still be fine if you wait a few years for fertility treatment even. Fortunately, endo sufferers aren't technically 'infertile' even if we can't conceive because the hormones and eggs can be fine so IVF can go really well.

I'd say don't fret too much just yet.

I have endo. Following a relatively simple treatment at 32 I had 2 children at 33 and 35.

Also the people I know personally who have suffered endo but conceived naturally have all done so in their late twenties or into their thirties.

Thanks everyone for the replies. My endo is mild but it was on my ovaries with cysts and on my pelvic wall. I also have suspected adenomyosis. I was diagnosed by laproscopy and it was lasered off. I was given the pill to take, but it didn't stop my periods, made them longer and more painful so I only took it for a few weeks. I'm pretty sure my endo has grown back due to certain symptoms (javelin arse) re-appearing which I haven't had for a long time. The surgeon was quite rude and reluctantly agreed to do the surgery. I've had the symptoms since I was 10 (it was 10 times worse then). He told me that 10 year olds don't get endo. I'm just scared that my fears have been confirmed. I always knew that there was something wrong and that I might have problems with having children. Doesn't help that two 'fortune tellers' randomly told me at 15 that I'd find it difficult to get pregnant.

I was diagnosed after my first baby I have since gone on to have two more babies. it took a while to conceive but we got there. Try not to worry and get stressed, stress always makes mine worse x

I only found out I had severe endometriosis on my ovaries after my first scan with DS (I had been largely asymptomatic and the symptoms I did have had been misdiagnosed as IBS). I'm hoping to conceive DC2 at some point so hope I wasn't just lucky this time.

Unfortunately you won't know until you start trying how fertile you are. But there is a good chance you won't have difficulty conceiving, so I would not rush into anything. You are young so have lots of time to find the right relationship

I have major eyebrow raiseage when it comes to male Doctors telling me that I couldn't possibly have been experiencing symptoms at any given age. I'm fairly sure that anyone blacking out with pain at the age of 12 isn't normal.

As far as fertility goes, if you decide to proceed for yourself then yes, surgery may well be the best option before action (it has been the case for me, with severe endo). But everyone is different, and that's the biggest qualifier. It took a major op to remove 2 x embedded choice cysts and abundant scarring before I could get pregnant the first time (successfully), and nothing the second time (ectopic, obviously not successful). I wish you much luck x

Choice? FFS. Choc.

Your best bet now is to ask for a referral for a second opinion and go from there. Your consultant sounds like an ass "I have never seen it therefore it doesnt exist"