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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To say I won't sell to her?

19 replies

CupidStuntSurvivor · 03/02/2015 20:41

I both sell and give a lot of things away on Facebook selling pages. Mainly things that DD (10mo) has grown out of or I've stopped needing for her.

More than 50% of the time, people who ask to have/buy things don't turn up. It's extremely frustrating. And often, I get a message from the person a few hours later making excuses and asking if they can collect the next day instead. The same excuse is repeatedly flung at me, and though I don't doubt that some are telling the truth, I'd be astounded at how many sick children are in our small village if they all are.

I wouldn't mind if they messaged to let me know they're not coming. I never change plans to accommodate anymore but I do try and make sure I'm not too scruffy, have the item ready, etc.

Today, I thought I'd sold a brand new, still boxed baby's bath seat for Â£8. After the lady told me she's currently fostering a baby a little younger than DD, I mentioned that I have a few things I'm willing to give her free to help her out (including a jumperoo). She seemed grateful and said she'd appreciate around half of it so I lugged it all out and kept it in my hallway ready for her arrival.

And she didn't show. She's now in touch asking if she can come tomorrow instead. 4 hours after she should have collected. After I've lugged it all back into my storage cupboard.

What would you say in these circumstances? I'm very tempted to tell her I don't want to sell to her, let alone give her many of DD's things for free.

OP posts:

HermioneWeasley · 03/02/2015 20:42

I would say that they are no longer available. Cheeky mare.

notnaice · 03/02/2015 20:43

Nope, She's missed the boat on that one.

nowayjose1 · 03/02/2015 20:43

Did she apologise or have a reason for no show? If not then I wouldn't bother!

notnaice · 03/02/2015 20:44

Tell her she that you had them all out for her and a friend saw them when she didn't show and you've given everything to her.

Fullpleatherjacket · 03/02/2015 20:45

Can't believe the cheek of her cherry picking the freebies in the first place

Just tell her the stuff has gone elsewhere.

PoshPenny · 03/02/2015 20:46

No need to say you won't sell to her because she's messed you about and risk a row, just say they've been sold... Much easier and less stressful for you. If she was serious in the first place, she could have sent you a message to say she couldn't come at the arranged time.

Original poster

CupidStuntSurvivor · 03/02/2015 20:48

She's just said 'something came up'. It's better than telling me about a sick child admittedly. One woman had the nerve to tell me the same thing on 3 separate occasions. I wasn't torn about telling that one what I thought!

OP posts:

Caronaim · 03/02/2015 20:49

Did she say why? if she is fostering, she could have had an unannounced visit, when you have to drop everything and give your full attention to SS with no notice.

weeblueberry · 03/02/2015 20:50

No I wouldn't sell to her. And in future Id put a disclaimer on the items saying if someone doesn't turn up within a reasonable time the item gets relisted without any further contact to the buyer.

End of.

lotsofcheese · 03/02/2015 20:50

That's why I gave up on local FB pages & Gumtree - loads of time-wasters.

I use EBay now & it's so much less hassle. Or I donate to charity shops/pass on.

Original poster

CupidStuntSurvivor · 03/02/2015 20:51

Ideally, I don't want to say it's already gone as I'd like to re-list it .

OP posts:

Nospringflower · 03/02/2015 20:55

I'd just reply saying sorry that doesn't suit you and nothing more. Then realist them.

hesterton · 03/02/2015 20:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MoreBeta · 03/02/2015 20:58

I often read threads like this and I think that the people that don't turn up who said they wanted something only then immediately tried to sell it on for more money and when they couldn't find a buyer just didn't turn up.

I generally give things to the charity shop. I gave away some toys and a buggy to a student couple over from the US who had a baby and had arrived with almost nothing. They were very grateful and I knew they would definitely use the items.

I tried to give away to two John Lewis baby cots and no charity shop - not even the one that does furniture would take them. They were virtually brand new.

MyAcheybreakyBones · 03/02/2015 20:58

I had a lady tell me that she'd tx me on a Wednesday to tell me when she can collect Thursday, no word from her so on Friday I promised it to someone else and she contacted me apologising saying her mum had to go hospital and I doubt she was lying but I told her that I assumed she didn't want it so had promised to sell to someone else. No dramas.

The 2nd person ruined my Friday plans by running late then asking to come the Saturday, I didn't make the same mistake twice and carried on with my Saturday as normal and lo and be hold no contact/no show.

Then had someone ask me to travel up to 45mins bus journey to meet and sell them the item.that was a straight out no.

It makes me annoyed, if you don't want to sell to her then don't.

Original poster

CupidStuntSurvivor · 03/02/2015 21:00

Caronaim it's that possibility that's put me in two minds. But I'm certain that a social worker wouldn't think badly of a foster parent telling them that they were supposed to be collecting some things for the child and needed to let the person know they wouldn't be coming.

I'm extremely hard up myself at the moment...freebies and cheap sales are my way of doing a bit of good for others in my situation. So all these no shows really make me feel like a door mat.

OP posts:

Cabrinha · 03/02/2015 21:04

Why would you sell a bath seat for £8 and give away a Jumperoo worth (surely?) lots more?

But - YANBU - no showy no havey.

Original poster

CupidStuntSurvivor · 03/02/2015 21:06

More - I don't advertise my big freebies because there are several people on our local site who get an item and sell it on. I originally tried to just say no to those sellers but when I got rid of a travel cot for free then the next day saw one of these sellers advertising it with the pictures I uploaded, complete with my family pictures in the background, I wised up. I offer them now to people who happen to mention a new baby in the family, etc.

OP posts:

Original poster

CupidStuntSurvivor · 03/02/2015 21:10

Cabrinha it's a jumperoo I bought off the same selling site. Was told it was in great condition but when I unpacked it at home I discovered it needed a really good cleaning and before I got round to doing it, I tried DD in one at the children's centre and found she's far too heavy for it. I wouldn't feel right taking money for it with how much scrubbing it's going to take.

(Foster lady did know this.)

OP posts:

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