To put a comment on fb about hoovering?

[JumpRope]

I have a Facebook friend, who has started putting up a few quite a few pictures of the interior of her home with her child doing things. She and her husband recently adopted a child from a non-EU country. They had been turned down for UK adoption, and so went down the overseas route. They are now hoping to adopt another child from abroad.

The problem is, the house looks disgusting. They have cats or dogs I think, but the carpets and walls are simply filthy. I am being horrifically judgey, but the pictures I have seen covered in hairs and dirt, piles and piles of DVDs and CDs all on the floor, just makes me want to write the word 'hoover' under them.

Flame away.

Have you actually commented on the pictures? If not, you can't be flamed. Everyone judges, it's human nature. Just do it quietly.

As an aside, I've not hoovered since Saturday and with a dog and four cats (plus two small feral children) it would probably also look revolting in a photo. Try not to judge me.

No I haven't. That's 3 days, I know ground in dirt from flotsam and jetsam of day to day life.

Is she more than just a FB friend? Do you have the sort of relationship where you could do a tactful offering to help her if she needs to blitz the house/could recommend a good cleaner?

What's all the adoption info included for???

How many children have you adopted? When I adopted DD1, I didn't clean my kitchen floor for months. DD1 took priority and I was struggling to juggle housework with parenting. Presumably this child they have adopted is not a newborn? So they are probably mobile so crawling or walking? It's exhausting going from no kids to suddenly having a toddler practically overnight. Why don't you visit and offer to put the Hoover round for her?

My friend had a child naturally and is also manky. She's very nice though OP. I think you should leave well alone.

Presumably the OP has put this amount of detail in so that her "friend" reads it on here, recognises herself, realised that her fb friends are judging her, takes the photos down and doesn't dare to share any more pics of her child with the eid until her house is up to the OPs standard.

You wouldn't just write 'Hoover' on a photo? That is hugely rude. If you are her friend and want to help then send her a message offering support.

Eid? *world! Ffs

Some people have better things to do than spend their lives cleaning. As long as her DD is well fed, loved and played with, surely that is more important than living in a showhome?

I hope you are equally judging her DH in your disgust at how they keep their house?

I think I could have had a lot of people telling me to Hoover after seeing some of my pictures on Facebook. However the camera, of course, adds carpet muck, everyone knows that

But seriously, if anyone actually did put a comment like that I'd probably tell them to sod off. Unless it looks like an absolute hovel with shit on the floor then it's none of your business how often she hoovers!

I really don't get why the adoption info is on here. Fuck all to do with what you're actually asking.

We all have friends/family/acquaintances with questionable standards of cleanliness. The trick is keeping it to yourself.

On a side note, my DD is terrified of the hoover so I can only do it on the odd occasion she's being looked after my someone outside of our home. Subsequently, my living room carpet is currently disgusting. But it's brown and speckly so you can barely tell .

If you wrote the word 'Hoover' underneath her pictures, you would be a massive fucking bastard.

But, ya know, feel free...

OP, do you still have a gardener and au pair to help you out?

My house looks shit. We're building ATM.

Op, do you fancy coming around regularly dusting and Hoover for me?

They would have had some sort of home inspection by SS before being allowed to adopt, even from abroad .So I doubt if it's as bad as it looks .A friend adopted a 'baby' (she was 2) from abroad . She was 50 at the time . I have never seen anyone look so tired. The child not surprisingly had behavioural problems and it must have been a massive shock to the system
If you know her that well , go round and help out

how bad are the walls to show up in a photo? Handprints, or smeared animal poo?

You would be very unreasonable to do that.

Also, piles of dvd's and cd's on the floor are perfectly normal when children are playing. My toddler loves to pull them all off the shelf, it's her favourite game. Do you have kids?

Funnily enough, a few days ago I took a photo of my daughter which I wanted to share with my family on FB but I decided I couldn't because my house looked too messy and I knew people would judge!

Op Do you think the condition of the home is harming the child? If so I'd take more drastic action than a backhanded FB comment, if not then judge silently in your head and let us Manky Mums wallow in our own filth ;)

(I am disabled, have 2 cats, a 22 month old and DH, house is filthy but no one helps me upkeep so fuckit)

I've an 8wo baby and I haven't hoovered or mopped the kitchen floor since the birth. Actually I lie, I used a hand held to suck up dust bunnies and stray leaves a few times.
Luckily my baby doesn't sleep on the kitchen floor or suckle from nipples on the bottoms of my feet, so I guess it doesn't actually make much difference.

SergeantJarhead

Partially am wondering whether they couldn't adopt from the UK because their house is such a mess. But yes, surely there are checks in place for overseas adoptions. And I'm a little worried about the child who is school age and therefore there is plenty of time to clean when not at home.

If you're worried about the child, precisely what good is commenting on the picture with the word 'hoover' going to do?

OP if you were concerned about the child, you should be talking to the school or social services. Not starting a thread on here about how you plan to publicly shame someone who may be struggling.

I love these threads. So if mn jury dais to pay your content would you have felt justified in doing so?

Are you sure that your friend was turned down for UK adoption? To adopt a child from overseas you still need to be approved to adopt in the UK and I didn't think that adoption agencies would be more lax about the requirements potential adopters would need to meet in order to adopt from overseas. It seems unlikely a couple would be told 'Your house is too messy to adopt a UK child but of course it's fine if you want to adopt a child from overseas.'

Any regardless if you are really a friend perhaps you could offer support to your friend who is probably finding it hard to stay on top of things now they have a child just like you might any new mum rather than judging her anonymously on the internet.