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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to be angry at DP

5 replies

Ratsandmorerats · 02/02/2015 06:50

Have NC for this as details may out me. Last night I found out I have failed a professional exam I took late last year. Only by two marks, but still a fail.

Background - I had a caring responsibility on top of working full time and DP works away so it was exhausting and horrible and on top of the daily grind I wasn't getting to sleep through the night. This responsibility stopped just before Christmas and it has only been since returning to work after the Christmas break that I have felt I am back to my old self - I think I could well have been suffering from depression.

I told DP I failed the exam and he suggested asking for a re-mark (which I think is pointless, but that's by the by) and was generally supportive. He then went on to say, "Well you weren't sleeping at the time so maybe that had an impact". This comment has made me so angry because it fails to recognise the caring role I was in and the relentless grind of that on top of everything else. In the end I told him I was angry that he failed to properly acknowledge the pressure I was under at the time, but he didn't want to discuss it. We rowed about it at the time because he just couldn't see where I was coming from.

We had moved on I thought, but his continuing failure to acknowledge how rotten a time I was having has brought everything back and I am really hacked off with him.

OP posts:
Nolim · 02/02/2015 06:54

Maybe he was making a factual observation not a judgement. You do admit thst you were tot sleeping well and it is not a stretch to assume that sleep depravation could have been a factor.

Obviously it was not your choice to be sleep deprived so do not take his comment as implying that if was.

Ratsandmorerats · 02/02/2015 06:57

That's a good point - I think my anger is because at the time, for whatever reason, DP didn't seem to comprehend just how awful things were for me - I think he felt guilty for leaving me to deal with things.

OP posts:
DoJo · 02/02/2015 09:32

It sounds to me like he was acknowledging that you were under a lot of pressure, but highlighting the lack of sleep as the aspect of it which probably had most impact on your performance in the exam. Is he usually supportive?

jasper · 02/02/2015 09:43

yes

MillionToOneChances · 02/02/2015 09:58

That sounds like he was trying to be supportive but has rubbed you up the wrong way because you feel he left you do deal with a difficult period without support before Christmas. YABU but you have my sympathy.

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