For making up poo puns to keep myself entertained during tummy bug hell?

[Dutch1e]

There's some kind of heinous tummy bug in my house that only affects men. DP and DS smell like a punch in the face. I'm so far unaffected. In between loads of washing and scrubbing poo off the walls (that was DS, not DP luckily) I'm keeping myself entertained with poo-related puns. So far I have "Poo-nami" "Poo-plosion" "Three Shits to the Wind" and "Bowel Down Before Me"

Contributions welcome. I'm desperate.

Turd enough?

Perhaps you're feeling flushed from all that cleaning?

My favourite childhood song;

It's running down my leggy
Like a little eggy
It's in my shoe...
A sloppy poo!

I tried to tell my mum as it trickled out my bum

Diarrhoea diarrhoea

Sounds like the boys in your house are a bit brown on their luck

Glad I'm not in your shoes, sounds like an awful jobby but someone's got to do it!

:-)

Play some tunes while you're suffering:
If you're crappy & you know it
Plop Goes The Weasel
I Turd It Through The Grape Vine
Shitting On The Dock Of The Bay
Flush Gordon
Don't Want To Loos You Now
Please Don't Arsek
Anything by The Cheeky Girls

Or read Diarrhoea Of A Wimpy Kid

Oh crap literally for all my amusement in this thread last, the shits have arrived here this morning. So far it's just the girls. This is all your fault OP

Woahbodyforrrrm Let's throw my boys and your girls in a breeding pen and make horrible little gifts for all the annoying people in the world!

The shit storm is passing (Passing. See what I did there?) .... it's now more like a sun shower. Stun shower? Pun shower?

Lol I'm glad it's passing rounds yours, things have thickened up round here too so all is good! And thanks for the laughs

DP and DS? That's a double barrelled shit gun!

I was walking down the road
When my knickers overflowed
Diarrhoea, diarrhoea!

When it's squrting out your bum,
Like a fucking Tommy gun,
Diarrhoea diarrhoea.

Glad the shit storm is passing