Calling single working parents...

[CupidStuntSurvivor]

...preferably those who work antisocial/changeable hours. How do you manage it?

DD is 10mo. Currently doing an access course. Hoping to go to uni after. The uni course is 50%+ on the job placements. And the role requires 24hr cover so it'll be shifts.

Is it even possible to do or do I need to consider doing it later?

Will be doing similar myself in years to come. Will you have family help? That's what I'll be relying on for nights shifts and other unsociable hours/when I can't be there.

I did it with a lot of family support and an exceptional childminder

Luckily I'm now married

Family and excellent cm!

Wouldn't be possible otherwise unless you can afford au pair or nanny!!

being single, my working hours have always been restricted to the childcare hours available, which was 7.30-6.

Working shifts or anti social hours has had to wait until children are at secondary school.

It can be done with a merry go round of support. Good luck

I was a nanny working nights for emergency services worker, nannies can be ofsted registered so you can pay them with tax credits.

Depends where you live- in a big city, there will often be childminders who will do overnights, babysitter services who will be available for short notice calls at a price, etc. If you're in a small town, this will not be possible. I assume no family help? Or ex willing to take child overnights on a flexible basis (should be the ideal, if they don't also work odd shifts, but obviously not always possible)?

My mum can help and step dad. Mum works herself though. Her hours are standard day time, weekdays but I'm mindful I wouldn't want to take the mick. There's a small chance she may consider early retirement but I neither want to ask her to do that nor rely on it. Location is sort of an in between. It's a small town on the outskirts of a large city.

Ex doesn't see DD unfortunately because of safety concerns.

Are overnight nannies expensive?

Sounds like your mum could perhaps do overnight if needed and then perhaps you could find a really good, flexible childminder?

Nannies in general are pretty expensive.

Just answered a similar thread in how people with kids manage to work.

It's hard, but you could probs do it with support of friends and family. I know what you mean about not wanting to take the mick with your mum but she may be a godsend and its not like you're asking her so you can frit your days away. You're bettering yourself for yours and your dc future!

Other than that you could ask a well meaning friend or another rellie.

Do you think us lone parents shud band together and take it in turns child mind each others kids? I jest!

You may jest but I'm just as incapable of relaxing with one to look after as I am with several! . If only there were a village for single parents to live and help each other balance these things.

I'm new to the area but am making some mum-friends. You never know, by the time it's needed, I may well have some friends I'm close enough to to ask some favours.

Thanks for the help everyone .

Am I right in thinking you are going to train to be a nurse? If so I can give my perspective as a single mum of 2 littles ones, exactly half way through my nursing degree. Firstly, child are bursary is excellent. Given you are a single patent you will get 85% of any child care expenses paid (with an offsets reg place). 50% of your placement will be community based, so generally mon to fri 9-5. When you are placed in hospital then yeah there will be nights but you only have to do 90 hours over the whole degree, so very few. The wards prefer you there in the day as generally that's when the best learning opportunities are. So as long as family can help out occasionally, all will be well.

And if I've guessed wrong and you aren't doing nurse training, scrap all the above!

I have an au pair though my DD is older. Her hours are averaged out over 4 week period so some weeks she works more than 25 hours and then the next less.

Cupid - I welcome that idea wholeheartedly

Hopefully things work out in your new area and you can call upon mum friends as and when needed within reason. Best of luck with your studies and training. As one of the PPs said you can probs get help towards childcare, I get help with mine thru working tax credits so find out if this is available to you. You can go on www.entitledto.co.uk to find out what you may potentially get based on your circs.

Good memory chestnut, it is nursing I'm looking to get in to . And that info is really useful...much more manageable than I had in my head. How are you finding the course itself?

Fabulous career choice! Honestly, it's so do able! Not easy but totally manageable as long as you are organised. So far I've practically picked my own shifts, as have most of my colleagues, so seems to be a universal experience. Nurses are generally mums and understand. My mentors have been fab at recognising the need for me to balance studies with home commitments.

I love the course, more than I ever possibly imagined. Can't believe I will qualify next year! I wholeheartedly recommend it

I don't think you are being realistic. Those hours are extremely difficult, you'll hardly see your child, practical strangers will be staying overnight?? Why you would do this I've no idea! Utter madness. If you think it's to give your child a better life, it won't believe me. Myself & several friends went this very route only to go into practice & back out again because of this very reason.

I had plenty of family support which made my degree possible but honestly the hours etc (I assume you've never actually worked crazy shifts) are redicilious for most people never mind someone in your situation.

It seems LadyMary that your experience of doing your degree is very different from chestnut's? You wouldn't recommend a single mum becomes a nurse I take it?

Though I can't quite fathom why me being single would mean I see my DD less while doing the degree than I would in a couple.

And I'm asking how others make it work, not saying I'm leaving my DD with strangers overnight.

I am a single parent and a nurse but work in the community as wouldn't be able to work shifts, the childcare just isn't there unfortunately. It does to some extent depend on where you live and what cms are able to offer.

I would speak to the Uni as there must be other people in your situation, quite often with placements you will be able to tell your mentor what you can and can't do. It will be more working the early and late shifts or doing long shifts. If you could agree to do say 4 long shifts a week this would mean in reality a really good cm and your mum agreeing to doing all the pick ups and drop offs. It is doable but would be hard when on placement however the placements are usually only for 8 weeks or so.

au pair?

Daily nanny although that is not going to be affordable for many single working fathers and mothers.

Cupid, please don't be put off by negativity! There are loads of single parents on my course; we are well in our second year and not one has dropped out. I see plenty of my kids, and have never left them with strangers.

I have found a positive, solution focused attitude has been met my my mentors to help me make hours work in any way possible. (Time off freely given for parents evenings, nativity etc)

I am really proud to be showing my children that mummy has to study and work hard if we want nice things in life. Though 2 and 4, they get it, and love asking me questions bout what I am learning.