To think that I shouldn't have to ask for maintenance every month?

[HealthyChanges]

Me and Ex have been separated 3 years this year (his choice).

He hasn't showed much interest in our DC since and is forever out with his friends drinking.

He earns a lot of money and we have an arrangement that going by the CSA calculator that he will pay me 20% of hia pay check, great. However, every single month ever since we came to this arrangement (he didn't pay anything for the first year) I have to text him and ask him for the money.

I hate doing this as I know that he loves the fact that I rely on him still and that I have to ask for it as if I didn't he wouldn't transfer anything until I actually ask.

AIBU to think that I shouldn't have to ask every month and he should do it because that was our arrangement?

Call Child Maintenance, they will do it all for you if he's like that every mth. That's what I've recently had to do. My EX won't like it, but tough titties.

I would text him to say you are fed up and it is his choice to either take ten minutes to set up a direct debit or you will let the CSA do the chasing from now on.

I bet he has maybe had some salary increments over the last three years so will want the DD. I personally would go through CSA if I had an ex who aas a dick because I would never trust them to tell their actual earnings.

Tell him that you're going to contact the CSA if he doesn't set up a standing order for a regular amount, and then do it.

Thank you for your replies, I think that the CSA route would be the best but I know that it will annoy him. I'll text him asking him to set up a direct debit and see what he says.

What does it matter if it annoys him? He's neglected to set up a direct debit for two years to annoy you.

My ex played silly buggers like this. The second time, I went through the CMS and now he pays me on time, without being asked, because it would cost him an extra 12% if he ended up having to pay them rather than me.

Who cares? Wouldn't annoying him be a good bit of redressing the balance? How about you give him a metaphorical slap down for a change?

Go to CSA anyway. They will get him through wages and if he has pay rises, they won't be kept from you. Over three years, he's probably now paying less than he's liable for.

He can't set up a direct debit for this, but he can set up a standing order (different things).

I like JenniferG's wording for a text to him.

Set up an automatic email on the 1st of the month, then you don't have to think about it.

Has the amount increased at all? Surely he's had a pay increase over 3 years?